Honeyfund questions?

[misskelleen]

Hi all!

My wedding is on August 4th of this year!  :)
My fiancé and I have decided to ask those guests who wish to give us a gift to instead help out with our Honeymoon fund, and we are not doing the usual registry/gift tradition.  I looked through the tags and found several opinions about whether or not it's okay to ask for this, whether people

Comments

[ipsafictura]

Opinions will differ on this, but mine (and this is also the opinion of most etiquette guides) is that it's in bad taste to mention gifts in any way on your invitation, as it's seen as a solicitation for gifts. Registries should be an "ask" item, and you shouldn't tell people unprompted what you want to receive.

[misskelleen]

I don't plan to put it on the invitation. If I do print up something it would probably be on a small card that accompanies the invite, added inside the envelope.

[herladyship]

No, she means it shouldn't be sent out with the invitation at all.

We only told people who asked where we were registered. I generally think it's tacky to do anything else. BUT if you have a wedding website, it seems to be ok to mention it on there.

[ipsafictura]

That's more or less the same thing, etiquettewise.

[misskelleen]

Hmmmm... the last 3 or 4 weddings I've been to have done that. Just attached a little card with registry information.

[ipsafictura]

Yes, you'll find it's becoming increasingly common, due in no small part to stores like Macys and Crate and Barrel handing unsuspecting brides and grooms those cards to include, which leads them to very reasonably believe that this is simply how it's done.

Like I said, you're going to hear different opinions on this, but I feel that registries of any kind should be something provided on request. They're meant as a convenience to your guests, who want to be assured that they're getting you something you can make use of, but they need to be handled carefully so they're not put forth as an obligation to purchase a specific gift, or indeed any gift at all. You wouldn't (I hope) mail a copy of your wish list out to friends who were attending your birthday, and wedding registries should be handled the same way.

If you want, I can provide you links to various experts explaining why this shouldn't be done, but ultimately it's up to you.

[kutie_kara]

Hahaha I am sooo throwing myself a birthday party and emailing links to my Amazon wish list!! Thanks for the idea! I LOL'ed! :)

[ipsafictura]

The worst thing is, I have had someone do that to me. I was seriously 0.o