Really?

[dirtywordplay]

We're 250-ish days away from our June 16th wedding and I'm so ready to just buy plane tickets instead. I wanted to elope in the first place, and my FH didn't, and our families didn't, so we aren't. But no one seems to want to help make sure this wedding happens either. My FMIL flipped out back in August, calling me unstable and saying we're rushing

Comments

[tamaracat]

I considered eloping about four months before my wedding too. It just seemed so much easier planning wise, drama wise, stress wise... In the end it was all worth it and our day was great.

That being said. The only job your BMs technically have is to stand with you on the day of, IMO. If you want them to do stuff before hand, it's more like asking them to do you a favor, not you expecting them to. If they can't make it, they can't, and you have to deal with that. BMs are not wedding planners, DIYers, or punching bags, unless of course they want to be any or all of those things. I do however, think that the bride gets the final say in what a BM wears. If she doesn't like the dress you pick, then she can bow out. I don't think you can ask her to, though. Pick the dress you want her to wear and let her decide if that's something she's willing to put up with.

Good luck! I promise that when your day comes and it's all over you will laugh at all the drama and silliness and stress, and you may even find yourself wishing you could do it all again. (I totally never expected to feel that way at all because I ABHORED planning my wedding, but now I wish that I could have my wedding again!)

[lumpyhead]

This. Also, A has kids and lives in town with you. If she can't make it, she can't make it dress shopping. Sure, she misses the excursion, but she also has family obligations. So go with the OOT BMs, pick your stuff and then offer to go with A when she's free.

[dithie]

Agree -- this sounds like a good compromise.

[dirtywordplay]

This is what we're going to end up doing, but A was the one who wanted to all go dress shopping when they're up here, so I made the arrangements with the other two and now A can't go.