Gift help?
My spouse and I were married back in October, and while we are long overdue for a post-wedding update, sadly this is not that post!
Recently we received what we consider a "courtesy" invite to a wedding in my spouse's hometown. Basically, my spouse's parents and the bride's parents are good friends, so there were reciprocal invites, but only the parents are expected to attend. Her parents did attend our wedding. Because we would have to travel for the wedding, we plan on declining the invite and sending a gift.
However, the invites are very formal and traditional. There is no information card, and the reception card simply states where (fanciest hotel in town) and dress code (black tie). There is no registry or wedsite information.
My spouse and I are both graduate students, though, so money is a bit tight. We are more comfortable buying a gift or contributing to a honeymoon fund at our price point than sending a rather (piddly) amount of cash. So far I've searched weddingchannel.com, theknot.com, and the most common wedding registry stores (Macy's, BB+B, Crate and Barrel, amazon.com, Target, etc), as well as honeyfund.com. I cannot find the couple. We googled them to find a wedsite, and the most we came up with was the fact that they follow each other on Twitter (awww). For our wedding, the bride was listed with her parents as the givers of the gift, so we could join in with my spouse's parents, but they don't know what to get her either.
So, wedding planners, advice? Are there places to search for registries that we neglected? For those of you without registries, would you prefer a random gift or a check? Also, for those on the fence about registries, please read this as a plea from your potential guests: guidance is appreciated!
UPDATE: So my spouse spoke to hir mother, and we are going to go in on a family gift. My MIL spoke to the mother of the bride, who after being asked very explicitly where the couple was registered, said the name of two local (to the wedding) stores. My MIL visited both stores only to discover that they were not, in fact, registered at either. My MIL doesn't like the idea of giving cash, so we suggested a gift card to one of the stores mentioned by the bride's mom, or something nice but practical from one of the stores. Still, I wanted to share the kind of bizarre twist in the story! Thanks for your input!
Recently we received what we consider a "courtesy" invite to a wedding in my spouse's hometown. Basically, my spouse's parents and the bride's parents are good friends, so there were reciprocal invites, but only the parents are expected to attend. Her parents did attend our wedding. Because we would have to travel for the wedding, we plan on declining the invite and sending a gift.
However, the invites are very formal and traditional. There is no information card, and the reception card simply states where (fanciest hotel in town) and dress code (black tie). There is no registry or wedsite information.
My spouse and I are both graduate students, though, so money is a bit tight. We are more comfortable buying a gift or contributing to a honeymoon fund at our price point than sending a rather (piddly) amount of cash. So far I've searched weddingchannel.com, theknot.com, and the most common wedding registry stores (Macy's, BB+B, Crate and Barrel, amazon.com, Target, etc), as well as honeyfund.com. I cannot find the couple. We googled them to find a wedsite, and the most we came up with was the fact that they follow each other on Twitter (awww). For our wedding, the bride was listed with her parents as the givers of the gift, so we could join in with my spouse's parents, but they don't know what to get her either.
So, wedding planners, advice? Are there places to search for registries that we neglected? For those of you without registries, would you prefer a random gift or a check? Also, for those on the fence about registries, please read this as a plea from your potential guests: guidance is appreciated!
UPDATE: So my spouse spoke to hir mother, and we are going to go in on a family gift. My MIL spoke to the mother of the bride, who after being asked very explicitly where the couple was registered, said the name of two local (to the wedding) stores. My MIL visited both stores only to discover that they were not, in fact, registered at either. My MIL doesn't like the idea of giving cash, so we suggested a gift card to one of the stores mentioned by the bride's mom, or something nice but practical from one of the stores. Still, I wanted to share the kind of bizarre twist in the story! Thanks for your input!