FMIL Rant
So my FMIL and FGIL (grandmother) have together fronted $2,000 toward our wedding. My parents have fronted $1,000, FH’s dad is fronting about $1,000, and FH and I are fronting the rest (altogether, our wedding/honeymoon budget is about $25,000). By myself, I am fronting about $18,000 - FH doesn’t make as much as I do, and while this is not an issue between the two of us (he works extremely hard, I’m just in a higher paying field), it’s still a fact that will play into what I’m about to tell you.
We are getting married April 2 of next year. FH and I have already ironed out a fairly finalized guest list - it may shift a little bit, but as of right now, it’s pretty set in stone. FMIL asked me a couple weeks ago to make sure FH’s godparents were included in the list, and he never ever sees them (they live in Puerto Rico, we live in Florida) and he really didn’t think to invite them, but we stuck them on there because we knew it was important to her. Two people - doable.
Today she tells FH that she wants us to invite a few of her friends and one of her grandmother’s friends. Five more people. FH told her our guest list is pretty much already hashed out and that’s not really going to fit into our budget, etc. So FMIL says, “Well, these people have known you since you were a baby, and your grandmother and I fronted $2,000”…IS SHE SERIOUS? Like, for real. Lady, I am fronting like 75% of the wedding on my own and I’m not even inviting some of my own family. And we have B and C lists of our own! I haven’t spoken to her, but this is exactly why I hate taking money from people. EXACTLY why. There are always provisions, even if they go unspoken at first. There are people who have known me since I was little but I’m not inviting them, what the hell. Ugh.
Am I totally out of line? We stuck FH’s godparents on there to appease her and he doesn’t care at all about these other random people she wants to invite. If he did, it’d be a different story, but lord.
Granted, she has been helping a lot. She dropped our contract off for us at the venue, is throwing us an engagement party in a couple weeks, and wants to help out with the décor. She was with me when I found my dress, and is very open to helping…which is great because my own mom lives in another state. I’d rather have my own mom here but at least FMIL is helping where she can.
I feel guilty but at the same time I feel justified in saying no. $40 a head is a lot of money and we have a very strict budget. And if we had the extra cash, we have other people we’d want to invite before her and his grandma’s friends. I dunno. Today has been stressful for me.
Any advice would be appreciated. :-/