brandons entry...
Brandon wrote an entry to his LJ today...
Tue, May. 12th, 2009, 02:26 pm
Life
I am Lonely.
I am Tired.
I am Happy.
I am Sad.
There is no one who fills the Lonely
I can't sleep at night because of everything
I am happy because my friends are being there for me
I am Sad because of how it all ended.
I am sorry for the things I said
Oppisite nature was taking over
Your best friend hated my guts
She had every reason to
I am not worth anything to anyone
I am as manipulable as the come
I am trying to change
I am making myself happy with out others being happy
I don't drink all the time
I don't get drunk
No one I have talked to compares to you.
but I feel that I have lost and their no second chance
I am trying to be ok with that.
but I do miss you and I will always love you.
I hope your life is better with out me
I hope you find some better then me
because I am nothing
but I am trying to be something and I won't let the
alcohol take over me. I promise.
I am sorry I hurt you!
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Till the Sun Turns Black-Ray L
I left him a comment...
my life was better with you in it...
i feel more alone than ever and i wish i could talk to you but it just hurts too much right now.
i miss it everyday... but we have both changed and i dont know if second chances are a good idea...
i miss you.
I keep reading it over and over again trying to make sense of it all... can I believe what he has said? This is the Brandon that I miss and loved but what I was left with was a completely different person...who hurt me so much that I dont know if I can forgive him. I love him still... but not the side of him that he became... I HATE that Brandon.
sigh.
im tired of crying. im tired of being alone.im tired of wanting to be loved but just left with all of this rejection and emptiness. im tired of not receiving what ive earned and what i deserve. im tired of feeling like im being punished for things that i didnt do. i dont deserve to feel like this when all i wanted was him. and he turned out to be the biggest let down in my life... out of everything I have gone through, this hurts this most. Time doesnt fucking heal things... it just makes things worse. You dont forget anything, you just pondering on what went wrong and how you could fix every day. and you think about what you miss the most and how you may never experience that again...
sigh...
i need to go and distract my mind from all of this...
P&L
Tue, May. 12th, 2009, 02:26 pm
Life
I am Lonely.
I am Tired.
I am Happy.
I am Sad.
There is no one who fills the Lonely
I can't sleep at night because of everything
I am happy because my friends are being there for me
I am Sad because of how it all ended.
I am sorry for the things I said
Oppisite nature was taking over
Your best friend hated my guts
She had every reason to
I am not worth anything to anyone
I am as manipulable as the come
I am trying to change
I am making myself happy with out others being happy
I don't drink all the time
I don't get drunk
No one I have talked to compares to you.
but I feel that I have lost and their no second chance
I am trying to be ok with that.
but I do miss you and I will always love you.
I hope your life is better with out me
I hope you find some better then me
because I am nothing
but I am trying to be something and I won't let the
alcohol take over me. I promise.
I am sorry I hurt you!
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Till the Sun Turns Black-Ray L
I left him a comment...
my life was better with you in it...
i feel more alone than ever and i wish i could talk to you but it just hurts too much right now.
i miss it everyday... but we have both changed and i dont know if second chances are a good idea...
i miss you.
I keep reading it over and over again trying to make sense of it all... can I believe what he has said? This is the Brandon that I miss and loved but what I was left with was a completely different person...who hurt me so much that I dont know if I can forgive him. I love him still... but not the side of him that he became... I HATE that Brandon.
sigh.
im tired of crying. im tired of being alone.im tired of wanting to be loved but just left with all of this rejection and emptiness. im tired of not receiving what ive earned and what i deserve. im tired of feeling like im being punished for things that i didnt do. i dont deserve to feel like this when all i wanted was him. and he turned out to be the biggest let down in my life... out of everything I have gone through, this hurts this most. Time doesnt fucking heal things... it just makes things worse. You dont forget anything, you just pondering on what went wrong and how you could fix every day. and you think about what you miss the most and how you may never experience that again...
sigh...
i need to go and distract my mind from all of this...
P&L