Ending a chapter of Life, Beginning anew...
I know its been awhile and a lot has happened recently. As angry and irrational as I have been about life, especially between me and...Brandon...here I sit hoping to bring closure to this matter, at least for myself. As illogical, to me it seems, as his decision for change was, Ive thought about it and know what it is that we must do. It is rather imperative that we close all forms of communication with one another-for now. He believes that this is the life that he wants to enjoy- live in the moment- and that is what he is doing. I need to do some extensive soul-searching. I know partly what I want in life, and right now it is something that I am not suppose to have. As humble as I am as a person, I do not live for me. I do not Love Me.
Talking to others about what one must do about these types of circumstances only leads you so far. Eventually, you must come to a decision yourself. I need to do things for me. I can do this...I will be graduating from Community College in a couple of weeks. Even though it may not seem like a huge Milestone, I am apart of the way through my college education. There is nothing now to stop me from accomplishing what I want to do with my life, except for Me. I now must focus on myself and not to second-guess everything and think negatively. I want to be creative, and to create pieces of artwork with a new medium that people will love. I want to experience what it is really like to live on my own- to realize how prepared I must be for the real world...I want to build, discover, and experience My Life.
Change is a good thing, I guess. I think I was focusing too much on trying to mend what we had and not seeing all the different things that we each wanted. Maybe, in time, we will meet again and things will be different, be better for each of us. I do not regret how things have ended- as terrible as they were... and I will always love him...
Now I must learn to love myself.
Talking to others about what one must do about these types of circumstances only leads you so far. Eventually, you must come to a decision yourself. I need to do things for me. I can do this...I will be graduating from Community College in a couple of weeks. Even though it may not seem like a huge Milestone, I am apart of the way through my college education. There is nothing now to stop me from accomplishing what I want to do with my life, except for Me. I now must focus on myself and not to second-guess everything and think negatively. I want to be creative, and to create pieces of artwork with a new medium that people will love. I want to experience what it is really like to live on my own- to realize how prepared I must be for the real world...I want to build, discover, and experience My Life.
Change is a good thing, I guess. I think I was focusing too much on trying to mend what we had and not seeing all the different things that we each wanted. Maybe, in time, we will meet again and things will be different, be better for each of us. I do not regret how things have ended- as terrible as they were... and I will always love him...
Now I must learn to love myself.