now i lay me down to sleep...
Here i lay uncomfortable on my bed talking to brandon about life....both unable to sleep. why ive decided to write i really have no clue. it just feels necessary. its a new year 2009 yet everything seems the same. Inbetween euphoria and disphoria....partly cloudy with distant storm clouds...anyways enough with the metaphors...
the last few weeks have been kinda hectic. xmas and new years have passed thankfully; chaos at work has kinda settled. Of course, many are complaining about hours...not much anyone can do about it. Just wish they would stop complaining...
Going to VA this weekend with Brandon. Be away from home for a little bit even though Ive barely been home since the semester ended. Theres always a feeling of uneasiness that hits me whenever I go on a trip. In a different place, unfamiliar territory, no place to seek comfort. I have no idea what im going on about. The caffeine in my system is giving me a headache, even though caffeine is suppose to help with them.
I dont understand why I become so overwhelmed when surrounded by many ppl. Its extremely draining. Eventually I just want quietness. The Quiet is always there...
my mind is a bit disconnected right now. Im tired yet i cant fall asleep. I just want to sleep and wake up and enjoy the day. Hang out with my best friend and go shopping. Shopping is a guilty pleasure. I feel terrible about spending money that I could be saving and that I am being selfish but at the same time I enjoy getting something for myself. I know I dont need much but its just nice to have some things... I accept that Im not the most affluent person but I have given up quite a lot.
I dont know what else to type....maybe something will compel me to write again...
the last few weeks have been kinda hectic. xmas and new years have passed thankfully; chaos at work has kinda settled. Of course, many are complaining about hours...not much anyone can do about it. Just wish they would stop complaining...
Going to VA this weekend with Brandon. Be away from home for a little bit even though Ive barely been home since the semester ended. Theres always a feeling of uneasiness that hits me whenever I go on a trip. In a different place, unfamiliar territory, no place to seek comfort. I have no idea what im going on about. The caffeine in my system is giving me a headache, even though caffeine is suppose to help with them.
I dont understand why I become so overwhelmed when surrounded by many ppl. Its extremely draining. Eventually I just want quietness. The Quiet is always there...
my mind is a bit disconnected right now. Im tired yet i cant fall asleep. I just want to sleep and wake up and enjoy the day. Hang out with my best friend and go shopping. Shopping is a guilty pleasure. I feel terrible about spending money that I could be saving and that I am being selfish but at the same time I enjoy getting something for myself. I know I dont need much but its just nice to have some things... I accept that Im not the most affluent person but I have given up quite a lot.
I dont know what else to type....maybe something will compel me to write again...