Episode 4: Thanks For Nuthin'
[locked to house members] A | ACTION | 460 Stone St
Peter is squatting in front of the kitchen table, where a large turkey is steaming slightly. Peter squints suspiciously and slowly, slooooowwwwlllly prods the turkey with a serving spoon, then jumps backwards, arms over his face, cringing. When he realizes he hasn't been melted, attacked, poisoned or transfigured into a Native American, Peter lowers his hands and frowns, scratching his chin in thought. His "family" might find him jotting down a note on a piece of paper and sticking it into the turkey attached to a salad fork. The note says "Gobble At Your Own Risk".
B | Phone | Unfiltered
So, that's it. Fresh turkey, delivered to our home, devoid of razors, anthrax, laxatives or the souls of small children. And we're supposed to pop on a dopey grin, wave to the cameras that must be around here SOMEWHERE and exclaim, "Golly, I sure am thankful for this cleverly-disguised detainment facility and the wonderfully-unnerving residents making me feel right at home! Gee WILIICKERS!" Boy. I just can't wait.
Well. In an attempt to avoid, y'know, horrific consequences, I'll play along. So, hey. Mayfield. I sure am grateful for this house to trap me in, a job I was forced into, this new family full of kidnapped, time-displaced weirdos and especially for the gift of sarcasm, which is all that keeps me sane. Spank you very much, Mayfield, because I know you enjoy spanking me. Using cactuses, for that bonus sadistic rush!
...Cacti, I think.
C | phone | filtered to Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, Captains America(s)
All right. So what did you make of this turkey business? I'm gonna defer to your opinions, since you've been here longer and also because Thanksgiving is practically the discovery of the United States, which effectively makes it Captain America Day. Just don't fight over it, there's plenty for the both of you.
Have there ever been "harmless" events here?