WHAT. JUST... WHAT.
Ink’s/Pen’s/Kenzie’s Bitch Segment
Bitching Subject Matter: Fucking Fees
Warning: Caps Lock Rage Dead Ahead
I was GOING to spend this last thirty minutes before bed reading my library book, Deerskin (I adore you, Robin McKinley), but I wanted to make sure that I was getting everything worked out with all these financial aid applications I’ve been doing as of late. Emory and Carnegie Mellon require all financial aid information to be in by February 15th, this Sunday, and I’m a little behind. It wasn’t a matter of laziness that has made me fall behind, I just overlooked the deadline and now I’m scrambling.
That’s no problem. That’s my own fault. I can deal with scrambling, as this would not be the first time, my friends, nosiree.
But the BITCH of all this? MOTHERFUCKING FEES.
At least the only unreasonable thing that Carnegie Mellon wants is ten zillion forms. I mean, okay, paperwork is an unholy demon on one of the lesser levels of Hell, but it’s better than paying out my ass just to say, “Will you consider me for financial aid, O School That I May Not Attend?”
Emory is making me set up a financial profile through college board, along with the reports they want on my FAFSA. So it took me two hours, but I damn well filed FAFSA last night. That was happy fun times.
I find out that not only do the fancy private schools I’m applying to want my FAFSA information, they want eight trillion other forms. Not to mention the specific “[insert school name here]’s Financial Aid Form” for Emory AND Carnegie Mellon that have pretty much ALL THE INFORMATION YOU CAN FIND ON THE FAFSA. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT, SERIOUSLY? IF YOU CAN FIND MY DAD’S ANNUAL INCOME ON THE FAFSA, WHICH YOU REQUIRE FROM ME, THEN WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD DO YOU WANT IT ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FORM?
Oh, and did I mention that collegeboard.com, for all its purported usefulness and wanting-to-be-helpful-ness, is more money-grubbing than a herpes-ridden prostitute who hasn’t been hired in a month? WELL, LET ME ELABORATE. Okay, so Emory wants me to set up a financial profile on collegeboard in order to get a better look at me. That’s fine I guess, except…
It costs nine dollars to establish the profile, and sixteen dollars for each school I want to send the profile to. WTF! HAVE I NOT PAID ENOUGH MONEY FOR APPLYING AND SATS AND TAXES AND BREATHING AND EXISTING? Okay. Okay, I can deal with that. 25 bucks is not so bad.
Then when I select that my parents are divorced, I get an email saying that there’s another form that needs to be filled out - it’s called the Noncustodial Parent form, and basically, it’s what my mom fills out so she can let the school know whether or not she will be contributing to my college education.
All fine and dandy, right?
NO. WTF. IT COSTS ME TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS TO FILL OUT AND SEND THIS ***REQUIRED*** FORM. A FORM. REQUIRED TO CONSIER ME FOR FINANCIAL AID. HAS A FUCKING. FEE. ATTACHED.
HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE, COLLEGEBOARD? I AM APPLYING FOR FINANCIAL AID BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE SHIT-TONS OF MONEY TO SCOOP OUT INTO A PIT AND SWIM AROUND IN. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. HATE. LOATHE. REVILE. ABHOR. DESPISE. SHUN. DETEST. DISPARAGE. SPURN.
HOW’S THAT FOR SAT WORDS, BITCH?
Okay, I’m done. I’m going to go read Deerskin and wish I were a good writer now. Later.
Bitching Subject Matter: Fucking Fees
Warning: Caps Lock Rage Dead Ahead
I was GOING to spend this last thirty minutes before bed reading my library book, Deerskin (I adore you, Robin McKinley), but I wanted to make sure that I was getting everything worked out with all these financial aid applications I’ve been doing as of late. Emory and Carnegie Mellon require all financial aid information to be in by February 15th, this Sunday, and I’m a little behind. It wasn’t a matter of laziness that has made me fall behind, I just overlooked the deadline and now I’m scrambling.
That’s no problem. That’s my own fault. I can deal with scrambling, as this would not be the first time, my friends, nosiree.
But the BITCH of all this? MOTHERFUCKING FEES.
At least the only unreasonable thing that Carnegie Mellon wants is ten zillion forms. I mean, okay, paperwork is an unholy demon on one of the lesser levels of Hell, but it’s better than paying out my ass just to say, “Will you consider me for financial aid, O School That I May Not Attend?”
Emory is making me set up a financial profile through college board, along with the reports they want on my FAFSA. So it took me two hours, but I damn well filed FAFSA last night. That was happy fun times.
I find out that not only do the fancy private schools I’m applying to want my FAFSA information, they want eight trillion other forms. Not to mention the specific “[insert school name here]’s Financial Aid Form” for Emory AND Carnegie Mellon that have pretty much ALL THE INFORMATION YOU CAN FIND ON THE FAFSA. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT, SERIOUSLY? IF YOU CAN FIND MY DAD’S ANNUAL INCOME ON THE FAFSA, WHICH YOU REQUIRE FROM ME, THEN WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD DO YOU WANT IT ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FORM?
Oh, and did I mention that collegeboard.com, for all its purported usefulness and wanting-to-be-helpful-ness, is more money-grubbing than a herpes-ridden prostitute who hasn’t been hired in a month? WELL, LET ME ELABORATE. Okay, so Emory wants me to set up a financial profile on collegeboard in order to get a better look at me. That’s fine I guess, except…
It costs nine dollars to establish the profile, and sixteen dollars for each school I want to send the profile to. WTF! HAVE I NOT PAID ENOUGH MONEY FOR APPLYING AND SATS AND TAXES AND BREATHING AND EXISTING? Okay. Okay, I can deal with that. 25 bucks is not so bad.
Then when I select that my parents are divorced, I get an email saying that there’s another form that needs to be filled out - it’s called the Noncustodial Parent form, and basically, it’s what my mom fills out so she can let the school know whether or not she will be contributing to my college education.
All fine and dandy, right?
NO. WTF. IT COSTS ME TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS TO FILL OUT AND SEND THIS ***REQUIRED*** FORM. A FORM. REQUIRED TO CONSIER ME FOR FINANCIAL AID. HAS A FUCKING. FEE. ATTACHED.
HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE, COLLEGEBOARD? I AM APPLYING FOR FINANCIAL AID BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE SHIT-TONS OF MONEY TO SCOOP OUT INTO A PIT AND SWIM AROUND IN. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. HATE. LOATHE. REVILE. ABHOR. DESPISE. SHUN. DETEST. DISPARAGE. SPURN.
HOW’S THAT FOR SAT WORDS, BITCH?
Okay, I’m done. I’m going to go read Deerskin and wish I were a good writer now. Later.