(no subject)
I have been feeling really terrible lately. There's alot to it, and I'm not even sure I can explain it.
I just feel like I'm falling apart, losing it, breaking down. It's probably got alot to do with stress, which is completely understandable, but as for the other things that are quite obvious to me, well, I deny any and all thoughts about it.
The people in my life are becoming fewer in number, and that's not neccisarily a bad thing. I've just realized who I can count on, who really cares, and what kind of people I have for real friends. I'm not fooling myself or anyone anymore.
I can't sleep at all. My mind is going crazy, so much that it gives me a headache. My heart sinks into my stomach everytime I think about the hardest hitting pieces of my life that seem to be falling apart.
I feel like I have no one. God is the only thing I am sure of having, no doubt about it. And that makes me feel quite a bit better. But really, I feel alone. I feel like everyone's been leaving me, abandoning me.
I am a horrible person for being so stubborn and upset when people let me down. I shouldn't be like that, I know it. I have a tendency to get upset when I rely on someone to be there for me, and they're not.
So horrible. I don't get it. I feel so needy. Well, I probably am. And I'm sorry for that.
I guess I have this lame expectation to get the same [love] given back to me, that I give to someone else.
I am pathetic.
I just feel like I'm falling apart, losing it, breaking down. It's probably got alot to do with stress, which is completely understandable, but as for the other things that are quite obvious to me, well, I deny any and all thoughts about it.
The people in my life are becoming fewer in number, and that's not neccisarily a bad thing. I've just realized who I can count on, who really cares, and what kind of people I have for real friends. I'm not fooling myself or anyone anymore.
I can't sleep at all. My mind is going crazy, so much that it gives me a headache. My heart sinks into my stomach everytime I think about the hardest hitting pieces of my life that seem to be falling apart.
I feel like I have no one. God is the only thing I am sure of having, no doubt about it. And that makes me feel quite a bit better. But really, I feel alone. I feel like everyone's been leaving me, abandoning me.
I am a horrible person for being so stubborn and upset when people let me down. I shouldn't be like that, I know it. I have a tendency to get upset when I rely on someone to be there for me, and they're not.
So horrible. I don't get it. I feel so needy. Well, I probably am. And I'm sorry for that.
I guess I have this lame expectation to get the same [love] given back to me, that I give to someone else.
I am pathetic.