Queer Eye...
I have been embarking on an experiment I like to call "Turn the Straight Republican GAY". It's working pretty well actually. Scarily well.
Initially it was more of a joke, I would rant and rave about girly stuff and he would go "[grunt] That's lame...I'm gonna go watch war footage and shoot imaginary people [grunt]" (paraphrased of course)
However, slowly but surely the plan has started to take hold.
a) While watching the OC, got 15 minutes worth of "The OC sucks" IMs. Detailed, nuanced ones. Meaning: the offending party was watching the OC intently for 15 minutes...
b) Boy dissed Paris Hilton loving girl, "she had this like plain gucci bag that she paid $500 for...and it wasn't even leather!"
c) Assumed, correctly, that I was busy because "it's Thursday and isn't the OC on?"
d) Mentioned, "I'm thinking of cutting my bangs, but I'm looking for a better stylist, cause the one I went to cut the sides a little shorter than I like them."
e) Asked what "manscaping" is and then said "I don't need that, do I?"
f) Held up new shirt he'd bought on sale and asked "Is this a nice shirt? See, feel it... I got it on sale, is that good?"
g) Dissed Paris Hilton for using a Sidekick, cause "those are for losers, she should get something better, like a RAZR." **Having a non-sexual obsession with Paris Hilton counts for extra points.
h) When explaining how to say "hello," and "thank you" in languages where the phrases are different depending on whether a boy or girl is speaking, does the girl version obscenely (actually yes, obscenely) well and with a convincing tone too high pitched for me to affect...also, bats his eyes.
i) Starts every story with "I was hanging out in Sulzberger tower the other day..."
I'm more powerful than I thought. Hm, this could turn out to be a blessing and a curse really...
Initially it was more of a joke, I would rant and rave about girly stuff and he would go "[grunt] That's lame...I'm gonna go watch war footage and shoot imaginary people [grunt]" (paraphrased of course)
However, slowly but surely the plan has started to take hold.
a) While watching the OC, got 15 minutes worth of "The OC sucks" IMs. Detailed, nuanced ones. Meaning: the offending party was watching the OC intently for 15 minutes...
b) Boy dissed Paris Hilton loving girl, "she had this like plain gucci bag that she paid $500 for...and it wasn't even leather!"
c) Assumed, correctly, that I was busy because "it's Thursday and isn't the OC on?"
d) Mentioned, "I'm thinking of cutting my bangs, but I'm looking for a better stylist, cause the one I went to cut the sides a little shorter than I like them."
e) Asked what "manscaping" is and then said "I don't need that, do I?"
f) Held up new shirt he'd bought on sale and asked "Is this a nice shirt? See, feel it... I got it on sale, is that good?"
g) Dissed Paris Hilton for using a Sidekick, cause "those are for losers, she should get something better, like a RAZR." **Having a non-sexual obsession with Paris Hilton counts for extra points.
h) When explaining how to say "hello," and "thank you" in languages where the phrases are different depending on whether a boy or girl is speaking, does the girl version obscenely (actually yes, obscenely) well and with a convincing tone too high pitched for me to affect...also, bats his eyes.
i) Starts every story with "I was hanging out in Sulzberger tower the other day..."
I'm more powerful than I thought. Hm, this could turn out to be a blessing and a curse really...