Prelude to a Journey East, Chapter 3 - Going West
Chapter 3 - Going West
At first, the only thing she is aware of is the subliminal beauty of the song filling her up up up to the brim until she is ready to burst. That is when she realizes that it is her lungs burning and the water pressing in on all sides of her. A porcelain white hand is pulling her down down down deeper into the sea and she has no power to resist. It is taking her to a black abyss and Ginny wants to scream, wants to fight, wants to die, but she can do nothing but feel the weight of the world crush in on her and she is thrown back into the darkness of the past.
Suddenly she is on her knees coughing and she has no idea how she is still alive. Her breath is rapid, her lungs sucking in air fast fast fast until she is dizzy. She is only vaguely aware of Draco beside her, his hand moving up and down her back.
“Shhhh, it’s okay, Weasley, it’s okay. Don’t cry.”
Cry? She brings a wet hand up to her face. She can’t tell if she is crying but she must be if Draco Malfoy is telling her to not cry. She blacks out mere moments later.
***
She wakes up in a fog. Everything is grey and she feels a moment of panic before she sees the slightly bluer grey of Draco Malfoy’s eyes looking down at her. She tries to sit up but he gently pushes her back down, frowning at her. She notices his brow is creased in worry. She had never thought Draco Malfoy could be worried about anyone other than himself.
“Alright there, Weasley?” he asks after some moments.
She nods from her reclined position on his lap but feels the lie in the shiver that still runs through her body. She has had plenty of experience with dangerous situations - even when she was just a teenager duelling with Bellatrix LeStrange and other assorted Death Eaters. But this is the first time in a long time Ginny feels she is acknowledging the difference between fighting someone else and fighting yourself. She remembers a lonely eleven-year-old girl with freckles and hand-me-down robes and as she looks up at Draco’s frown, she feels angry. She pushes herself up on shaky limbs, pushing Draco’s hands away from her as she stumbles in the fog. “What the hell, Malfoy? You could have given me a warning.”
Malfoy moves towards her but she deftly steps away. He is fast - his old Seeker skills still sharp - and he grabs her and wraps his arms around her tightly. She squirms but is still too tired and bruised to fight much. He is close to her and talking to her only a hair’s breath away. “Look, crossing over is scary as shit and it hurts, I know that, I’ve done it a dozen times and it still scares the hell out of me. And it scares everyone who has done it. But I can’t give you a warning, Weasley. As an Auror, you will always be launched into situations you cannot control.”
He pauses and frowns at her. “Something happened with you though.” He is shaking her a little now, trying to peer into her eyes but she keeps looking away. There is nothing to look at though. Deep fog seems to surround them at all sides. “What was it?”
“I just got scared,” she muttered under her breath, skirting what had really gotten under her skin.
“Scared? What were you scared of?” He does not relent and if it’s possible, he’s squeezing her even tighter.
“I don’t know - how about death? how about darkness? how about the f*cking Chamber again?” she yells into his face. Her breathing is harsh and rapid again but she isn’t scared anymore. She’s just angry - at him for not warning her, at her for being scared, at Anabelle for being right, at Ron for doubting her. At everything and everyone.
Draco sucks his breath in nosily, nods and releases her. “You were okay in the catacombs.”
“That wasn’t the same. I wasn’t alone down there.”
“I was with you the whole time crossing through,” he points out.
“No,” she replies, shaking her head. “I couldn’t see you, I couldn’t tell you were there. All I saw was this phantom hand pulling me dow-…” She stops. Talking about it makes her feel ill. She looks up at him and finds him staring at her with a closed expression. “You’re not going to make fun of me for being scared?” she asks, desperate the end the awkward silence hanging heavy between them.
“Only fools aren’t scared.”
“Is that what you tell yourself?” she sighs, feeling somehow better for finally saying something. She can never talk about the Chamber with her family and friends. No, she is Strong Ginny now; Happy Ginny; Stable, Balanced Ginny. But somehow she feels like she can be just Ginny around Malfoy. Maybe because he is such a git that she doesn’t need to pretend to be more than she is.
“It’s what I tell people who have enough sense to listen. Now,” he says, reaching forward to pull at one end of the robe Ginny is wearing. Ginny looks down and for the first time realizes that Draco must have draped his robe over her when she had blacked out. “You’re finally in the Equator.”
“It doesn’t look like much,” she mumbles. The grey is unlike the ocean sea that floated like a lullaby. This is still and monochrome. It makes her feel a bit uneasy.
“They don’t really put much effort in the welcoming party, do they?” he smirks lightly. He has pulled the pocket watch from his robes and it shines a dull gold though there is no light here.
“I want you to hold onto this,” he says as he puts it around her neck.
She wraps her hands around the elaborate gold watch. It is warm. “You want me to hold onto your watch?”
“No,” he says, shaking his head at her. He leans forward and pops open the cover. It is a compass.
“Oh, I’ve heard of this!” Ginny exclaims. “A golden compass to tell the truth!”
She looks up at Draco who is frowning at her. “Well, there’s no true North here, so really it only tells you East or West.”
“Oh.” She feels suddenly deflated. As silly as it sounds, she likes playing with magical devices she hasn’t seen before. She guesses it is a propensity she has inherited from her father. “It’s just a compass?”
“It’s just a compass,” he nods. He gestures at the fog surrounding them. “But it’s important to us. Without it, we could be walking in circles forever. I suggest we head East.”
Ginny is turning the compass in her hand. Somehow it doesn’t feel like it’s just a compass - it is warm and comfortable and she suspects that Draco would not give it to her without a reason. “You said you didn’t know how to find the Root of Happiness, right?”
“I don’t,” he replies cautiously. He is on to her of course but that doesn’t mean he knows what she is thinking.
“Then why should we head East?”
Draco shrugs. “I’ve always headed East.”
Ginny turns until the compass is pointed due West.