(no subject)
january is a shitty month, and it's 66 degrees outside. today has been shitty, the only good part was sociology, i actually was challenged by my prof to actually think, it was amazing, i think i found out what a real college class is like. it was cool. my mind has been activated, unlike my phone, which sucks. not having a phone for a week is hard, but it reminds me how our society is so dependent on technology and i'm not sure how much i like the thought of that, oh well, it should be back on tomorrow, ha. i've got to find a way to occupy my mind because the same thoughts over and over are just boring, i find myself being bored with...myself. make sense? i don't like myself, it's funny, i think i do, and i find myself thinking or acting a certain way and i don't like it and i don't know how i want to be, well, i sort of do, but it's like, i can't find myself. and i guess at 20 i'm supposed to feel this way, but it's hard to discover yourself when you're so limited. i don't want to be home and i don't want to be here, well, i want to be here, just not right now, i want to travel and i want to live in europe for some period of time, but we can't all have what we want now can we...i just don't feel good about myself right now and don't know what to do to fix this.