Family Wondering
It is the time of year to be in the bastion of friends and family. As I stated earlier, I won't be around either this year, which is why I'm not in the holiday spirit. However, I've been wondering some things about my own family.
Not the family I call my family now, though.
As some of you may or may not know, I'm adopted. I've known since I was five, once we got my sister; which sounds awful because it's like we went to WalMart and picked her out. Anyway, I was told that when I was 18, I could make the decision whether or not I want to track them down. Since I've turned 18, I often wondered if I should attempt to find out my actual family history. It would make a lot of health questions (both mental and physical) a lot easier to determine.
Yet, even with that, there's plenty of questions abound that I have to tackle in order to figure out if I want to go about things.
First off, I want to figure out whether or not I want to find out who my parents are. Sure, it would be refreshing, but the wonder of why they gave me up or what could have been in that life with them would pop up and probably ruin some things. Plus, if I don't like who they are, I could just go into a deep depression just wondering why I was ever born or some other bullshit.
Second, if I do track them down and attempt to make contact with them-- I want to have someone who is trusting with me to go out there and find them. I don't want to go in this alone, mostly because of the fact that I'd be able to have them bail me out if I'm not having a good time and to play off someone in case there's moments of awkward silences.
Finally, with all the stress in my life as it is right now, do I want to add to it with all of this junk. It probably won't be easy at all to do and would take plenty of time and effort, even with the wonders of the internet.
In the end, I think I'll put this in the "maybe some day" column of my life with the plenty of other things I want to go after and achieve. This one, however, could be the most painstaking one of all, should I decide to go for it.
Not the family I call my family now, though.
As some of you may or may not know, I'm adopted. I've known since I was five, once we got my sister; which sounds awful because it's like we went to WalMart and picked her out. Anyway, I was told that when I was 18, I could make the decision whether or not I want to track them down. Since I've turned 18, I often wondered if I should attempt to find out my actual family history. It would make a lot of health questions (both mental and physical) a lot easier to determine.
Yet, even with that, there's plenty of questions abound that I have to tackle in order to figure out if I want to go about things.
First off, I want to figure out whether or not I want to find out who my parents are. Sure, it would be refreshing, but the wonder of why they gave me up or what could have been in that life with them would pop up and probably ruin some things. Plus, if I don't like who they are, I could just go into a deep depression just wondering why I was ever born or some other bullshit.
Second, if I do track them down and attempt to make contact with them-- I want to have someone who is trusting with me to go out there and find them. I don't want to go in this alone, mostly because of the fact that I'd be able to have them bail me out if I'm not having a good time and to play off someone in case there's moments of awkward silences.
Finally, with all the stress in my life as it is right now, do I want to add to it with all of this junk. It probably won't be easy at all to do and would take plenty of time and effort, even with the wonders of the internet.
In the end, I think I'll put this in the "maybe some day" column of my life with the plenty of other things I want to go after and achieve. This one, however, could be the most painstaking one of all, should I decide to go for it.