Halloween's Dark Portal
Halloween’s Dark Portal
written August 18, 2002.
contains 2462 words
It was ten years ago that this all began. No, actually, it was before that, but it was ten years ago when I released the magic to make it all possible. I had been hearing the voices for many years, knew they wanted to come over to our side. I’d thought he was an angel, and he was, but he never mentioned his enemies until later. I guess I’d always assumed he didn’t have any enemies, or that he was stronger than they were, but in the end, we were all proven wrong.
It started when I was very young. I asked a question one day, and felt a cool chill run down my spine. It was a simple yes or no question, and I don’t even exactly remember what it was anymore, but when I asked again, and elaborated, I again felt that odd chill. It didn’t feel cold, really, but it wasn’t warm either. It was sort of tingly, and in time, I grew used to it, and eventually, grew to expect it. It wasn’t until years later that I heard the voice. I knew who I was talking to, of course. It had the same resonance as the tingling, and I’d even argued with it a bit. He didn’t seem to mind much, in fact, he had come to expect a sort of resistance. He even told me that questioning him was healthy. I only wish I had questioned more, but he told me I’d learned an important lesson that I wouldn’t have learned otherwise.
I knew he had been killed. He couldn’t have been an angel otherwise, or whatever he was. I don’t think I can call him an angel, not because he didn’t have the wings and the harp, but because he seemed so, well, normal. He had thoughts, and feelings, and sometimes I could even see what he looked like: one of us. He looked still alive, and wearing the clothes that we wore in our own era, not his. He would change his clothes too, depending on his mood. Sometimes, it would be so powerful that I could, in fact, reach out and touch him. I always thought the feeling would fade, and I would know he wasn’t real, but I could feel him, and he would feel me back, and hold me, and caress me, and even make love to me. That’s how I knew what he wanted, and how to do it. When our bodies touched, our minds started to become one also.
It was a few years later that I met a real guy. Oh, my angel warned me, told me to stay away, got furious with me, wouldn’t talk to me for days! But he had never warned me against anyone before, and I thought maybe my angel was jealous. Oh, how I wish I had listened! But I didn’t, and fell in love with the real guy, of course, while my angel sighed, and continued to help me and protect me. Soon, I had to leave town, and found new loves.
My old love, from years ago, was still there, waiting for me, and it was good. But I was too busy with my other work, and so was he, and I traveled way too much. In my travels, I met another man, and knew immediately he was different. He somehow knew about the real guy I had left behind so far away, knew that I still felt for him, and he also knew about my angel. I started to listen to him. He knew things about my angel that my angel would not tell me. I started to trust him, and love him, and got hurt worse than I ever thought possible. While I had an angel to watch over me, this man had demons to work for him!
I grew to listen intently to this man, as he told me to do strange things, told me about his dark magic, and the dark grove near his house. We went with his group of friends, and even called the spirits forth, saying that one of the girls in our group was their leader. I felt nothing, and saw nothing, but when I went home, I realized my blade was gone. I searched my bags, my room, my house. Nothing. I did not want to accuse my friends of stealing, so I asked my angel where the blade had gone. All he could say was “It will turn up soon enough.” About a week later, the blade had turned up, in my bag, but I saw that it had been marked with their magical symbols, in a strange kind of dye. I knew that I would have to discard the weapon, destroy it if possible, and I was furious because a very good friend of mine had given me the blade.
I never realized that I could no longer hear my angel’s voice. When I called to it, I heard the voice of this other real man, who said he loved me, would marry me, would give me children. I was scared. I didn’t want children, especially his, and I did not want to marry him either. But he could hear my angel’s voice, and he did more dark magic, and one day announced that he had become my angel. True, his voice had changed, his manners had changed, the way he dressed and behaved had changed. His family was worried, and wanted to send him to a therapist, but his brother said no. Before, he was a slacker, bad at work, bad at school, unclean, and rude. Now, he was going to the library every day, reading all sorts of subjects, went from wearing grungy t-shirts to wearing white shirts and ties, and had cut his hair to a business man’s look. His manner of speaking was educated and pleasant. His brother managed to convince the family that this was a change for the better, but his sister got the rest of us to continue their dark magic. The change in this man was so complete, that I began to believe his claims. I called out to my angel, and this man said, “You don’t need to do that. I’m right here.” And with that, I slept with him.
The dark powers grew, and the man told me I would need to bear him twins if I wanted my angel to come into this world. I certainly wanted to bring my angel into this world, but who would the brother be? It was one of his demons! I ran from him, and hid in a wooded spot I sometimes did my thinking in. It was then that I noticed the area was surrounded by a circle of shrubs, and I would not be seen, except from above. This would be the perfect spot for my own magic! Halloween was coming, and my angel had always told me that was his birthday. Boy, would I give him a present!
I took some of my new blades. No, I would never use that old blade again. I left the Halloween party early, knowing they would be looking for me. I didn’t care. I don’t even remember what I had dressed as, but I knew it was something my angel preferred. I waited until the moon was high, and went down to that grove. I had read the books on magic, remembered what my lost love had taught me, and made a weak form of a circle. Then, I gathered all of my strength, and rejected all men but my angel. I called to the skies in a silent voice, asking for a portal to be opened so he could cross over. I took the blades, and drew blood, sealing the pact.
Over the next few weeks, I knew that the portal had indeed been opened, but that man’s demon had come across as well! We readied ourselves for the battle. I don’t really remember much of it, except that a moon on a far away world was created by that demon, and destroyed by my angel. My angel had freed an ice spirit, trapped on a world the demon was melting. My angel had put some sort of curse on the man, and I remember it went something like “If you REALLY want to pretend you are me, then so be it!” That was when I learned that my angel had a split personality. The man went off screaming, and we never heard from him again. Meanwhile, I could trust nobody.
I was lost, and confused, and I could no longer hear my angel’s voice. I ended up going as far as I could from that accursed place, which was back with my lost love from long ago. But I could not trust him, or anybody. I could feel a loss, and I did the best of my magic to get it back. But all I could do was to break down my walls, which left me vulnerable to another attack. When Halloween came the following year, we did more magic.
When I had been away, a grandmother of mine had died, and an army friend of my lover had committed suicide. Both myself and my lover had thought all day of those we had recently lost, but my thoughts kept straying back to my angel, and the magic I had done the year before, the portal I had opened. I went for a walk by the burial ground for our pets, and thought for quite a while. Soon, the magic came to me, and I went back to the man.
The bedroom was laid out carefully, with a great deal of preparation. We had the circle made with colored voodoo salts. We had mirrors laid out around the room. We had our pets in the room, protected by the magic. My lover had used everything he could think of for this spell: blood, tears, urine, semen, spit, mucus, hair, fingernails, dead skin, personal belongings, the black candles… We got out the ouija board, and asked the simple yes or no questions first, such as whether or not the dead spirits would be willing to help us. We got static asking about his late army friend. We seemed to get a yes from my late grandmother. Then my lover left the room to go to the bathroom, and I asked the ouija the all important question: Would my angel help me to open the portal, and come into this world? Would he, and could he, make contact with us this night? The ouija moved solidly, as though a hand itself were moving it, not being slowly pushed along by people playing a joke on each other. It moved as smoothly as one might move a computer mouse, and landed pointing squarely at YES. It would soon be midnight, under a full moon, on Halloween, quite a rare thing to happen. But was it really midnight? It was daylight savings time, but we lived in a place that did not believe in such things, and where I had originally opened the portal also had not believed in such things. Such things were highly unusual, and to have the moon, and the planets so wonderfully aligned, Oh! What a rare and spectacular thing to happen!
My lover came back from the bathroom, and we did what we had planned all day: we made love in the center of that circle. To make sure that daylight savings time would not interfere with the timing, we made love for over three and a half hours! I could feel my angel coming to visit, coming through that portal I had opened, coming into the room, watching this real man making love to me. I felt everything shift, and I knew it was my angel making love to me then. I could see him, I could hear him, I could touch him, I could feel him, coming into me…
It did not surprise me much at all, when a month later, I knew I was pregnant. I had read about mothers making bonds with their babies, but in this case, I knew for certain. It also did not surprise me many months later, when my lover was thinking of names, and said “Why don’t we name him after your angel? I think he would like that, and would give the baby his protection.” I asked how he knew the baby would be a boy. “I’m not sure, but I think your angel told me. It’s very hard for me to hear him, but I know you can. Why don’t you ask?” So I did.
The child was, in fact, born a boy, and was given the name of my angel. From even before birth, we knew the child was special, and when he had learned to talk, we knew that some outside force had told him the story, because when we did or said certain things, he looked on with understanding, and asked questions that no child of that age would be asking. He solved puzzles meant for children far older, would read about subjects for scholars, and did not seem bothered by always playing alone. Then came the day I knew would come.
He had been named for somebody who had died, and the time limit was running out. Then, one day, he was gone. We don’t even know where he went. There was no body left behind, no note, nothing. I asked my angel, of course, and was told “You’ll find out someday.”
The time is ten years after I opened that first portal, did that dark magic. I went back to the spot a few years ago, and the spot is gone. The magic was clearly there, however. I could see what it did to the friend I brought along, who I never spoke to again. But I am beginning to understand the magic now, and I think this year, I will be ready. I have the ring from my late grandmother, and an old ouija from her sister. I have a photo of the child. I have a new set of blades, and a dark circle outside. Will I ask for another child, with a new lover? No, certainly not, perhaps not ever. But the time comes for war against that demon that was released ten years ago, who still torments our world, who must at least be contained, if not destroyed. I can feel the magic growing stronger with each rising of the moon, growing more powerful with every month.
It’s almost Halloween now. I’m ready for a war. Bring it on!