In which Michael needs answers from Ben...

Dec 19, 2009 22:48

Michael had hesitated with talking to Ben about this for some time, mostly because he knew that things were still fuzzy for him. He had to adjust to twenty years of "memories" that weren't real, and Michael knew that that alone would take some time, and he was willing to give it, but now some time had passed and Ben seemed to be doing better. Now Michael needed some answers. He'd lost a brother in the course of this, and he nearly lost his son, so he needed to understand what was happening. Now. Before more of his brothers were hurt.

He reappeared in Ben's room in the early hours of the morning, waiting patiently for the boy to wake up so he could start asking the questions he needed answers too.

Ben had gotten to Mama's the day before, promptly thrown into his seat at the table and told he was too skinny and wasn't getting up until he had eaten at least two plates. He barely made it through the first before begging off mercy. Luckily Sam and Ruby arrived at that point and Sam got her attention so Ben was able to escape.

The sun had risen too early, and Ben was aware when Anna got up to head downstairs. He just curled up in the warm spot she left behind, happy to hide away from the rest of the world still. It was only a few minutes later, though, that Ben realized he wasn't alone and squinted his eyes open. "Hey, Dad. Isn't it a bit early...?"

Michael paused for a moment as he turned around, looking a little surprised at the question. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's alright." Keeping the blanket carefully around his waist, he sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard. "What's wrong?"

Michael took a bit of an unneeded breath, before making his way over to the edge of the bed and sitting down slowly. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"The man who kidnapped you."

"Oh." Ben looked down at his hands. "I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that."

"I tried to give you as much time as I could, but I need to start looking for answers," Michael replied slowly, before looking over at Ben sympathetically. "I know that this is not a pleasant subject, but this man has killed one of my brothers, and you're the only one who's seen him. I need to know what you know."

"I've been trying to remember. I just... it's so far back for me. I... I remember looking up some symbol and it convinced me to meet him. He gave it to me as proof that he knew..." Ben bit his lip. "... that he knew how to get the angel out of a person."

Michael was quiet for a moment. "There are ways of removing an angel from their vessel. But it takes a lot of power and it doesn't always end well for the vessel. And in my case it wouldn't have made a difference. But I understand why you went looking for that answer."

"I'm sorry. I let my grief get the better of me. If I had just stayed and listened to you, I wouldn't have gone..."

"There's nothing to apologize for," Michael said softly. "We all deal with surprising news in different ways. I would have been shocked if you had readily accepted this to begin with."

Nodding, Ben rubbed at his head, resting his elbows on his covered knees. "I know the memories are up there. I just can't find them."

Michael paused for a moment, trying to consider the best way to go about it. "We could try talking our way through it, or -- we could do some kind of hypnosis or similar procedure."

"You've already been in my mind once. If it would work faster... I'm not sure I could even walk through it."

"Walking in your dreams is quite different from going through your memories, Ben. It's a different kind of process. I wouldn't want to do it if you weren't comfortable with it."

"I just want to remember. We can try to walk through it, but if it doesn't work then we'll try the other way."

"Alright," Michael nodded. "Think back to the day you were kidnapped. Try and list everything you did that day."

Ben closed his eyes, trying to remember. "I was with Anna. We... we had been road tripping and were in the mountains in Texas, and when we got to the foothills, we stopped at a diner for breakfast."

"Did you speak to anyone in the diner?"

"Waitress," Ben smirked a bit. "Yeah. It was where... I met him. He followed me to the bathroom. That's where he told me about... how he knew about you."

"Did he give you a name?"

Ben was silent. He was trying to remember and he scrunched his eyes a bit. "... Jake? I think... yeah. Jake. That's all he gave me."

"Do you remember what he looked like?"

He tried for a long time, then shook his head. "I can't. I know I looked at him, but I can't get the images. Just the feelings."

"Do you remember any other details about him?"

"He felt like he was a hunter." Ben opened his eyes to look at Dean. "I'm sorry. Maybe you can get more, but I can't. Brain probably locked it away in a box with all the other bad stuff I don't remember anymore."

"It's fine," Michael nodded reassuringly. "It's understandable."

"Will it hurt for you to try and filter through my memories?" Ben was offering, because he knew that this guy was bad news and he was the only one who had this information right now.

"No, it wouldn't," Michael replied. "Is that what you want?"

"You need this information. It's trapped in my head, and if you having it keeps him from hurting anyone else..." Ben looked into his father's eyes. "Take it."

"Okay," he said softly, before moving forward and placing his hands on either side of his son's face. "Close your eyes, and go back to when you first arrived at the diner. We're just going to walk through what happened, almost as though I was there with you."

Ben nodded, closing his eyes again. He worked to find that memory again, walking into the diner with Anna. Everything was fuzzy around the edges, like it was a dream he barely remembered.

Michael slowly made his way through it, trying to look through the peripherals of Ben's memory, seeing what he could notice and what he didn't -- things that Ben saw but didn't see all at the same time.

The conversation was light, talking about taking up hitchhiking and as the food arrived Ben got up. He hadn't seen it before, but one of the men at the counter turned his head to watch Ben walk by... and then the memories started to fade out as he opened the bathroom door. Like the picture turned off, and the sound was still going, but fuzzy.

Michael starting to focus a little more, using his energy to try and sharpen the memory, going in to find what Ben was trying to repress -- whether intentionally, unintentionally, or by someone else's hand.

The image started to sharpen to show Jake's face. There was a blue tint that fought against Dean, handiwork of the djinn who had altered the short term memory Ben had from that day while tossing him into the dream world. It wasn't uncommon since it was the hours that led up to it and they were things that never full imprinted into long term memory. The conversation went from the bathroom to the hallway where Ben was given the paper with the symbol on it.

Then he was back at the table and talking about making sundaes and Ben started to blush a bit under Dean's hands. "Don't you dare tell her you saw that," he warned his father, not opening his eyes.

He chuckled lightly, before pushing through the memory before much was said. "Believe me, I've had worse conversations. I won't say anything."

They fast forwarded to the hotel where Ben was looking at websites he had been researching on a lot about angel lore and vessels. Michael would be able to feel the desperation in those memories. The yearning for him back. The fear of Anna finding out. The shock at the truth to the symbol and the power behind it. Lying to Anna about where he was going.... and then it faded to nothing again.

Michael paused, using his power again to try and get the memory to sharpen, but not sure if it would do any good.

There were hints... a large SUV with tinted windows. The djinn's hands glowed so brightly. And then there was a fainted image that Ben saw just as he was going unconscious of something being put around his neck, and then the memory ended.

Michael pulled back slowly at that point, letting him go and opening his eyes to look at his son again. "Are you alright?"

Ben was shaking a bit, but he nodded. "Yeah, I'm ok. Just kinda getting tired of being kidnapped by demons."

He nodded, giving him a small smile. "I'm sure we all are."

"I'm thinking though... maybe I should go back to school. Something... normal. Get my mind off this and back on classes."

"I think that would be a good idea."

"I'm just worried that this guy knows where to find me. Try to pick me off again..."

"If he does, we'll be ready this time. Now we know he's coming."

Ben looked up at Dean. "You're going to assign me a babysitter, aren't you?"

He smirked. "You always had a baby sitter. She just wasn't prepared for you to be kidnapped by someone who knew how to block angels that quickly."

"Seraphiel?"

He nodded. "I asked her to keep an eye on you after you left."

There was a tiny bit of faded anger. Ben was fine with Michael now that he saw Dean. But he was still not sure he trusted any of the other angels. It just had not been one of his better moments, and part of it was the demon blood in him. "Well, I don't really have much of a choice. Who's watching over Alec then?"

There was a small moment of hesitation as Michael wasn't sure whether to hedge or tell him the truth, but he figured that lying wasn't the best way to go about it. "I am." Michael pause for a moment before amending the statement. "This doesn't mean I'm not paying attention to you. I'm still picking up on your emotions -- where you are, if you're getting into trouble, that kind of thing. But Alec needs me physically present at the moment, and in order for me to stay here without being summoned away at a moment's notice, he is my orders right now. Protecting the prophet."

"Oh." Ben didn't really know what to say, so he just didn't say anything. He understood that Alec was more important to the stream of things. The prophet. He needed the better protection. But the moment of sibling jealousy couldn't be helped. "That's good then, I guess."

Michael looked down for a moment. "This wasn't my choice. These were my orders. But if you want to go back to school, that's also leaving me with an indication that you don't need me by your side at all times, aside from the fact that I also can't follow you around school like a lost dog either, and that is not what Seraphiel will be doing. We will both be watching from a distance. But your brother needs my presence, as his father. He's doing better than he was, but he needs someone physically here with him, as oppose to just watching. Do you understand? I'm not choosing Alec over you, I'm just -- going where I'm needed."

"I understand. He's got issues and he needs you. I'm fine with that." For the most part.

He was trying. He still wasn't feeling one hundred percent like Dean, and he was still tripping over the right things to say. He didn't want to alienate Ben again, because he wasn't sure if the emotional end could take it, but he didn't know what else there was to say. With Alec was where he was told to be, so that was where he would have to stay. That doesn't mean he was unaware of the fact that it seemed like he was choosing one son over the other. "Good."

"I should go downstairs before Mama drags me down by my ear to eat breakfast..." Ben looked at his lap, not looking up at Dean a moment, then he did and gave a small smile. "You're lucky you don't have to worry about her force feeding you anymore." He was trying to lighten the mood.

Michael smirked. "I'm sure once she gets used to the whole idea, she will. She's told me that being an angel doesn't necessarily give me an excuse."

"She makes enough food to probably feed the entire garrison."

"I'm sure they would much rather just have her feed the vessels. Some of them appreciate some aspects of food, but getting someone to consent to being worn by an angel just to enjoy something like that isn't exactly a high priority."

"I'm sure."

Michael nodded, before starting to get up and make his way out of the room. "I'll see you downstairs."

Ben nodded, waiting for Michael to close the door before he pushed back the covers. He was in his boxers, and reached for where his neatly folded clothing was at the trunk at the foot of the bed - a way to keep them nice and wrinkle free. He pulled on his jeans, then looked at the t-shirt and wrinkled his nose. He had worn it yesterday and needed to be washed now. He moved it to the side, then looked for his bag. T-shirts, all of them wrinkled and worn at least one day. That was all he really had, and it didn't suit him well at all. He sat cross legged in front of the trunk and tried to figure out what he could do. He had to do laundry today, but he really needed something he felt comfortable in.

Anna wandered up a few minutes later, poking her head in the door to make sure that Ben was okay. Dean had said that he would be down soon, but after a while, when there didn't seem to be a sign of him anywhere, she decided to head up and make sure he was okay. "Something wrong?"

"I don't have anything to wear. It's all dirty." He looked over at her.

She smirked slightly at that, before making her way inside and closing the door behind her. "Should have said something last night."

"I didn't realize that everything in my bag had been worn at least once. How do you stand me when I wear clothes more than a day? I must smell horrible..."

"Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do," she sighed, before going into her closet and rustling through some of the clothes there. "Just get your stuff together and we can take it down to the washer now."

He nodded, doing so. He also looked down at his jeans. "Most of my clothes are still at Stanford, but I know there has to be another pair of pants around here somewhere. I feel like they are going to start walking me..."

"Well, if you're really desperate, I think Luke's about your size." A minute later, she emerged from the closet with one of his button down shirts in her hand. "This should be clean."

Ben looked at her in relief, taking the shirt and looking at it, making sure it wasn't wrinkled or smelling weird. "Seriously, what would I do without you?" he asked as he put it on, buttoning the shirt up quickly and then making sure the cuffs were done right.

"You'd be wandering around shirtless," she smirked, teasing a bit. "But I can't think of anyone who'd have a problem with that."

"Alec and Noah, for starters." He was still fretting over his pants, wiping at some stain he was only seeing.

"Ben," she said gently, placing her hands on his chest lightly so that he would look at her. "You're fine. It's not like you're going for a job interview, you're just going to eat breakfast."

He did look up at her, confused a moment, then he nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I just... I like looking nice." Which was something new.

"Okay," she said with a nod, knowing it was something new, but not pushing it. "But just relax, okay. It's just family."

He nodded, biting his lip before looking around for his shoes. "Do you remember where I left my shoes?" Because barefoot in the kitchen wasn't healthy.

She nodded. "Other side of the bed."

He walked around the bed and found them, his socks folded in them neatly. He debated, curling his toes on the floor a moment before deciding that no one would see the dirty socks under his pants and shoes and sat down to put them on while trying not to look completely disgusted. Then he put his shoes on and stood back up. "Alright, I'm good."

"Okay," she said with a nod. "Grab your clothes and we can dump them in the washer when we get downstairs."

He put the shirt into his duffel bag and put it over his shoulder. "And then after breakfast, we're going to go out and get me some new clothes."

"Sure," she said with a nod. "Sounds good."

mama, anna, ben's been kidnapped again..., ben, michael

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