in which Sam, Ruby and Anna have visiting time with Ben...
Sam pulled the Impala up outside of the hospital, parking in the visitor spot before looking over at Ruby a moment, then into the backseat where Anna was. When he had picked her up outside of Ohio, Sam could see how freaked Anna was. Losing Ben like that had probably made her feel helpless and scared, and Sam could understand that. There had been a lot of times hunting where Dean or Sam had been grabbed by whatever supernatural entity of the week and they had to find each other. It never gets easy, no matter how many times it happens.
"Hey, we're here," he told her softly, watching her.
Anna looked up from the window, before nodding slowly. She'd been somewhat half asleep -- the rumble of the car and the fact that she was insanely tired had helped lull her off somewhat. Now, though, she had to be awake and dealing with whatever state Ben's in, good or bad. She took a breath before starting to climb out, pulling the jacket more tightly around herself as she came around the front of the car.
Sam got out and stretched, grabbing the cane that was wedged along the side of the door and walked over to her. "You sure you're ready for this? I can answer any questions you might have?"
She shrugged slightly, before looking up at him. "Still Ben, right?"
"It's still him," Sam told her, taking her hand gently. "But he may have a hard time remembering who he was. From what Dean told me, he was trapped in this make believe world for 20 years. When it happened to Dean, he was only there for a few days to him, so he adjusted back pretty quickly. Ben... he just needs to remember what he had here so he can adjust. You're going to be a big part of that because you mean so much to him."
Anna gave Sam's hand a squeeze, before letting go, crossing her arms in front of her and trying not to feel like there was any kind of pressure. "I just don't want to upset him, ya know?"
"I don't think you ever could," he chuckled, pushing away from the car and standing up. "If he slips and says something you don't understand, just gently nudge him back and don't freak out on him. That's the best thing you can do."
"I'll try," she said softly.
Sam nodded, then took Ruby's hand and headed into the hospital. He know where Ben's room was, and got in the elevator and hit the floor. "You think that eventually they are going to name this wing after us. We end up here enough." It was the same room Sam had been comatose in for awhile, so he knew where they were going.
"Yeah, well -- I'm sure they love the repeat customers," Ruby sighed softly, as she gave Sam's hand a squeeze. "How're you doing?"
"Need to walk for awhile to stretch my leg out, but I'm good. Just worried about Ben right now." He squeezed her hand back as they got to the hallway. He was curious on if Dean was around and going to meet them, or if they should just walk in.
Dean was standing by the window of the room, and he sensed when his brother arrived with Anna and Ruby. Stepping away, he started to make his way towards the door, giving his brother a nod as they started to come up the hallway. "I'm glad you could make it."
"It's not like I've never driven sixteen hours straight in the Impala," Sam said. He would offer his brother a hand but Ruby had one and the cane was in the other, so he just returned his nod. "How's Ben?"
"He's doing well," he nodded. "He has moments where he gets confused some, but mostly he's well."
"That's good." Sam looked into the room through the glass dividers. Ben was curled up in a chair, his back to them as he looked out a window. He looked thin, but unharmed otherwise. BUt he also looked scared. Licking his lips, he looked over at Anna. "Why don't you go see him then? I need to keep walking for a bit, and I'm sure he misses you."
"Okay," Anna sighed, starting to step into the room a bit. Dean watched her for a minute.
"I will let you two have some time alone. I won't be far if you need me."
"And I'm just going to do a lap around the floor. I'll be back soon," Sam assured her.
Ben heard voices in the hallway and curled up a bit more in the chair. He didn't know if it was doctors again or House starting to get curious about his condition, but he just kept his back turned and focused on the clouds outside. He did start to twitch a bit when it got quiet again, his finger playing with the IV still connected to him with nutrients to help up the blood count.
Ruby went to walk with Sam, and Anna just closed the door behind her when she stepped inside. She was quiet at first, not really sure what to say, but she started to make her way forward, slowly, hoping that by the time she got there she would figure it out, but even then that still didn't work. So she started with the easy part. She stopped just behind him, her arms crossing in front of her chest again as she looked over at him. "Hey."
He turned quickly in his seat to the voice. He would know Anna's voice anywhere, and he looked up at her with confused eyes. Twenty years of love flashed through his blue eyes, and then he bit his lip and looked away. "Hey... I didn't know..." He had no idea what to say.
"Sam gave me a ride from Ohio," she said softly, before pulling up one of the open chairs and turning it to face him. "Thought it'd be good to come and see you."
"I'm glad you did. I've missed you. I'm sorry... I should have told you..." He curled up a bit more, resting his head on his knees.
"Hey," she said softly, reaching forward and placing a hand on his. "I get why you didn't. It's okay. You're gonna be fine."
He turned his hand slowly to be able to hold her hand and squeeze it. "No... I know I am. But I should have told you what was going through my head. I kept it in, and this is what happened. I knew better but I just wanted things to go back to how it was..."
"And there's nothing wrong with that," she sighed. "There's nothing wrong with not liking change."
"I know. But it doesn't... he was going to show me how to get rid... and I went. I left you and I went..."
"Ben." She reached over, sliding her fingers under his chin so that she was turning him to look at her. "It's okay. Really."
He tried to resist looking at her. Not that he didn't but he looked at her and he could see a wedding and two children and long nights in her arms that didn't exist. There were tears in his eyes as he finally did. "We were so happy..." he said softly.
Her face softened slightly, and she moved her hand, letting it brush against the side of his face lightly. "And we're not now?"
"I'm trying to remember. Too much has just happened in my mind. It's hard, because you were in so much of it... so much of it." He closed his eyes and leaned his head against her hand. "It's a different kind of happiness."
"We'll figure it out."
"I just don't want to lose you because of what I saw... what I want to try and get back to." That was his fear right now with Anna. Losing her because of what he wanted again.
"No one ever said we couldn't, Ben."
He bit his lip. He couldn't tell her about their life. How she had never spent a life on the road. She had been happy barefoot and pregnant and he knew that the real Anna wouldn't be that. Not yet... maybe... but he wasn't that lucky in this world. "I can only hope." He looked up at her, his eyes sad. "I made you so happy, Anna. You were my world there."
She brushed her hand against his face again, moving her chair closer. "You make me happy here too."
"I'm trying so hard to remember where we were... I know I need to get back to that for you. It's just hard and I don't want to ask more from you that you aren't ready to give."
"Don't worry about that. Let me worry about that, okay?"
He shifted around in his seat, moving so that he could lean across the chair and rest his head in her shoulder. The hand with the IV slowly snaked around her waist, holding her as close as he could in this awkward position. "Okay," he said softly.
Anna closed her eyes as he leaned in to her, relaxing as she held him close. Now the fact that he was actually there was seeming a little more real, and she was feeling a little less worried. Yes, she was still worried about what the djinn had done to him, but for right now -- they were okay. And they would be okay.
"I... I don't know what to do now. I'm afraid to leave here." He told her softly.
"You go home," she said softly. "And we just take it one day at a time."
"Yeah. Or maybe... go back to school?"
"You want to?" she said, surprised but pleased with the suggestion.
"I figure it'll be something normal that I can ease back into. I might change my major. Just so it's different. I don't know yet."
"Well, take all the time you want to think it over. Just take it slow."
He nodded against her, keeping his eyes closed. "You'll stay with me for awhile, then?"
"Of course," she replied, turning and kissing his temple gently. "I'll stay as long as you need."
He smiled a bit, squeezing her hand. "Always taking care of me. That's why my mother always loved you."
She squeezed his hand back. "Well, that's good. Hate to know what would have happened if she hated me."
"Ask Amy. She got a good deal of it, stealing Alec away..." Ben stopped himself, his smile drifting away. "Sorry I slipped again."
"It's okay," she said softly. She wouldn't say it, but she was slightly curious as to what it was that he had created for himself. What kind of life he wanted that made him so happy.
"It probably won't be the last time. They tend to happen when I'm feeling happy." Ben chuckled. "I'm fine when I'm miserable."
She grinned. "Well, that doesn't seem fair."
"Tell me about it."
"Hopefully, with time, it'll even out, though."
"I hope so. I still see it when I sleep. If I can't have it, I just want it to fade away like any other dream so I can stop remembering it..."
"Well, maybe we can get something close, somewhere along the way."
"Maybe." He opened his eyes and looked down at how he was laying. "And maybe I should go lay down in my bed so we're both a bit more comfortable."
She nodded. "We can do that, if you'd rather lie down. Figured you've been stuck in bed for a while, you might want to get out and about."
"Actually, I don't mind being horizontal. I get lightheaded easily still." He unconsciously rubbed at the bandaged wrists that were raw and scared from being hung up for almost a week by his wrists.
"Okay," she nodded, pushing back just enough to get them so that they're standing up and making their way back to his bed.
Ben made his way back, grateful for the scrubs not being able to show his butt to the world, and he climbed back into bed. He curled up on his side, then moved over a bit to give Anna room to lean up on the bed with him.
Once he was settled she pushed herself up, curling up next to him on her side so that she was facing him.
His hand went to run along her cheek, then he leaned in to kiss her gently. "You always look so beautiful."
She kissed him back, just closing her eyes and keeping close. "I was so worried about you."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to find a way to bring Dad back, and he told me he know how to do it." He licked his lips. "He knows how to do something..."
"That symbol -- he gave it to you? I found it in your jacket. Alec says it forces angels to leave, or something like that."
"I know. I looked it up. That's why I believed him." Ben was quiet. "He meant it, Anna. He knows how to do things to angels. And he knows who Dad is because he used me to try and find him."
"Well, you got a look at him, right? We can warn Dean, tell him to keep an eye out."
Ben shook his head. "It was too long ago... for me. I can't remember his face."
"Oh," she nodded slowly. "Well, we'll figure it out."
"What if he tries again. He knows who Alec is. He probably knows all about Sam..."
"Then we'll be ready for him," she pointed out. "Sam is Sam, plus he's got Ruby watching his back, your dad's an archangel now, and you've got a lot of them watching out for you. You'll be fine, Ben. And when this guy shows his face again, we'll be ready for him."
"I hope so. I heard that the djinn had some kind of weapon on him."
"I don't know," she said with a bit of a shrug. "Dean didn't give me many details, just that you were okay."
"I'm better with him now..." Ben said softly. "It's the one good thing that came... if that I understand him better now."
"How so?"
"When I saw him at the hospital with Sam, he was so cold. I didn't see my father in his eyes. But now... seeing him rescue me... I can see Dad in him. It's never going to be the way it was... but I see him in there now."
"That's good," she nodded. "I'm glad things are working out."
"Me too. I need him right now. He knows... what this is like."
"This happened to him before?"
Ben nodded. "When he was just a bit older than I am now. Just not nearly as long."
"I see. I'm glad you have someone to talk to, then."
"It helps, that's for sure."
"Good."
Sam had finished two laps now and stood outside the door to Ben's room. They were on the bed now, and as Ben curled into Anna more, he hesitated on entering. "Maybe I should come back later," he said to Ruby. "He's in a tough spot and needs that kind of comfort more than me right now."
"It's up to you," she said softly. "He's your nephew."
"Part of the reason he's here is because of me," Sam pointed out.
"Sam," Ruby gave him a look, moving so that she was in front of him more. "Ben getting grabbed by a djinn is not your fault. It happens."
"He was there before of Dean becoming Michael, which is my fault," Sam said, looking down at her, knew what she was thinking, and raised an eyebrow. "And yes, I know him running was his choice, as was whatever he did to get into that situation. But he shouldn't have had a reason to run in the first place."
"Sam." Ruby looked up at him. "Dean becoming Michael was bound to happen eventually. Michael is part of Dean and Dean is part of him. And given what Dean said about what was going on with Ben, I think this might have happened regardless of whether or not Ben had run off."
"Maybe," Sam sighed.
"Not maybe," she said softly, nudging him a bit. "Look. You blaming yourself is not what he needs, alright? He just needs his uncle."
He lowered his head, his forehead resting against hers. "Alright. I'll put the guilt in the back pocket for later." He smiled just a bit and kissed her quickly. "What would I do without you?"
"You all would be dead," she said with a bit of a dry look as she returned the kiss. "No, really. You would."
He laughed softly, his smile genuine as he squeezed her hand and headed for the door. He opened the door carefully and went in, holding it until Ruby was safely in behind him. "Got energy for some more visitors?"
Ben turned away from looking at Anna and lifted his head. Sam looked healthy and was walking, not in a full body cast. That was really good. And seeing Ruby behind him made him smile. "As long as you're not here to ask for your bed back."
Sam laughed and pulled one of the chairs over to the bed, then sat down. "When you're out of it, I think we should salt and burn it so that none of us ever need it again."
"And then knowing you're luck one of you will be back in it again in five minutes," Ruby sighed as she grabbed the chairs and pulling them closer. "The only think we know for sure is that it won't be Dean."
"Knowing your luck, next time someone is here, it'll be you giving birth for the first time," Ben said.
Sam raised his eyebrow and leaned back, a smirk as he waited for Ruby to counter that as Ben bit his lip, worried he might have pissed his soon to be Aunt off.
Ruby gave Ben a stare, before shaking her head slightly. "I'm too old to be having children."
"Too bad. You guys made really great kids." Then his eyes fell away and he sighed. "Sorry, I shouldn't talk about that."
Sam reached over and squeezed Ben's arm. "It's ok. At least now I know you're on my side in this great debate."
Ruby turned her attention from Ben, startled that she had had kids in his fantasy world, before looking back over at her soon-to-be-husband. "I'm a seven hundred year-old ex-demon. I think my child-bearing years have passed, don't you."
"That's just in your mind," Sam told her. "You don't look a day over thirty."
"Mmm-hmm," Ruby said, still giving him a look. "That's not an excuse. I think how my mind feels is pretty important, don't you?"
"If you listened to the age in your mind, you'd be in a wheelchair with eight hundred cats and sixty seven pills a day keeping you alive while living in a glass box while a team of scientists watch your ever move while the people from Guinness keep an up to date tab of your age."
Ben couldn't help it. He chuckled, covering his mouth with his free hand.
"Yeah, well -- it's still my body he or she has to come out of, so I think I get a bit more of a say than you do."
Sam just sighed and looked at the younger couple on the bed. "Ben, just remember that in the end, we're never going to win."
Ben gave a small smile. "I learned that lesson many times over already. Only thing in both realities that will not change, I'm sure."
Ruby sighed softly, before her curiosity got the better of her. "Okay. I have to know. How many kids did Sam and I have exactly?"
He hesitated a moment, then sat up a bit so he could look at Sam and Ruby better. "Three. Michael, Mary - but she liked to be called Parker, and then little Olivia. After her you threatened castration."
"I'm surprised he even got me to have one," Ruby admitted honestly. "I take it I wasn't a demon there?"
Ben shook his head. He looked down at Anna and took her hand before looking back at Ruby. "No. There were no demons at all. You were a waitress at a bar near Stanford that Sam met before going to law school. Just a normal girl."
Ruby swallowed. "Well. Whadaya know."
Sam looked at Ruby and smiled. "Well, it's the closest to normal you'll ever get, right?"
"That wasn't me," she said with a sigh. "That was a figment in Ben's head." A beat. "No offense, kid. But this, right here, is this closest I'm ever gonna get to normal."
"I think you're wrong," Ben said. "Maybe it was all a figment of my imagination... but you two where happy there. And I didn't know you were getting married before I got kidnapped. I just gave it to you, I guess. It fit well."
Ruby's jaw clenched slightly, before she shook her head. "That still wasn't me. And I'm not saying me and Sam can't be happy, but it's not going to be in the same way."
Ben looked down and away. "I know. Nothing will ever be the same."
Sam gave Ruby a look, then reached over to touch Ben's shoulder. "No, but there's a chance that it'll be even better. Right?"
"Yeah. Sure." Ben's way of not really believing it. He wanted to, but it he been pretty damn good there. Getting better wasn't really something he could see happening.
Ruby gave Sam a look right back. She wasn't going to try and sugar coat it for Ben -- there really wasn't a way to do that. He was just going to have to adjust to this world again -- whether or not the other one was better.
"Listen, I'm getting tired. the doctors said I should try to sleep whenever I feel that way. Helps the body or something." It was an excuse. He didn't want to deal with people right now, and he was trying to politely kick them out of his room. He did squeeze Anna's hand though in a way to let her know she could stay if she wanted.
Sam nodded, licking his lips. "Yeah, your body repairs itself faster when you're sleeping."
"We'll let you sleep," Ruby nodded as well, starting to push herself up and help Sam up as well. "We should probably find somewhere to stay for the night anyway."
Anna squeezed his hand back, settling in closer to him.
Sam got up, ignoring the moment of pain in his hip as he straightened his leg back out. "Good idea. We'll come by tomorrow to check on you, ok? And if you need anything..."
"I know," Ben said. He nodded to them, then just curled up into Anna's arms, resting his head against her chest and closing his eyes.
He watched them a moment, then followed Ruby out of the room. "Well, that went well..."
Anna just slid her arms around him, letting him stay close and relax against her. Ruby just waited until Sam was out, before closing the door and speaking up. "I'm not gonna coddle him, Sam. I'm not gonna promise him that things could be like that world some day."
"He wasn't asking for promises, Ruby. He was looking for hope. There's a difference there." Sam was just a bit annoyed. "He's not asking you to go and bear kids to match his dream world. He just hopes you have that kind of happiness. That's something that helps pull people out of depressions, which he's trying to fight out of."
"So you're saying I have to have kids to be that happy?" she asked, turning to face him and raising an eyebrow. "I never said I wasn't happy, Sam."
"No, I'm not saying that at all." He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "I know you're happy. It's just... a different kind of happiness."
Ruby paused for a moment, before taking a step closer to him, letting her hands rest on his arms lightly. "Were you really hoping for that?"
His eyes lowered a moment and he sighed, then looked back into hers. "I was, actually. I mean, I'm scared as all hell because I see what the demons do to Dean's kids. I doubt ours would be any luckier. And I'm worried about passing on my abilities... but I was still hoping."
She sighed softly, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Sam ... " If she'd have anyone's kids, it would be his. But she wasn't exactly thrilled with the prospect. She swallowed a bit, before giving him a bit of a dry smirk. "Let's get you well enough that was could actually be able to make a baby, and then we'll worry about it, okay."
"I'm not going to pressure you into doing something you don't want to," Sam stated. "I've seen how well that works for me in the past. I was just hoping I could at least get a bit of say in that." He didn't match her smirk, but he did roll his eyes. "Don't blame me on that. Blame your sword wielding angelic brother in law."
She sighed softly, before moving in to kiss him gently. "I love you. I want you to be happy. We'll talk about it. I just don't want to talk about it in terms of making this world better for Ben." Which, to her, was what it felt like. "Let's just get out of here first."
"Sure. You pick the motel this time." He smiled a bit after the kiss, then took her hand. "And if you're lucky, we can see if I'm able to handle heavy making out. How about that?" He teased gently.
She smirked back at him, before giving his hand a squeeze. "We'll see. Don't get in over your head, Romeo."
"Hey, we're here," he told her softly, watching her.
Anna looked up from the window, before nodding slowly. She'd been somewhat half asleep -- the rumble of the car and the fact that she was insanely tired had helped lull her off somewhat. Now, though, she had to be awake and dealing with whatever state Ben's in, good or bad. She took a breath before starting to climb out, pulling the jacket more tightly around herself as she came around the front of the car.
Sam got out and stretched, grabbing the cane that was wedged along the side of the door and walked over to her. "You sure you're ready for this? I can answer any questions you might have?"
She shrugged slightly, before looking up at him. "Still Ben, right?"
"It's still him," Sam told her, taking her hand gently. "But he may have a hard time remembering who he was. From what Dean told me, he was trapped in this make believe world for 20 years. When it happened to Dean, he was only there for a few days to him, so he adjusted back pretty quickly. Ben... he just needs to remember what he had here so he can adjust. You're going to be a big part of that because you mean so much to him."
Anna gave Sam's hand a squeeze, before letting go, crossing her arms in front of her and trying not to feel like there was any kind of pressure. "I just don't want to upset him, ya know?"
"I don't think you ever could," he chuckled, pushing away from the car and standing up. "If he slips and says something you don't understand, just gently nudge him back and don't freak out on him. That's the best thing you can do."
"I'll try," she said softly.
Sam nodded, then took Ruby's hand and headed into the hospital. He know where Ben's room was, and got in the elevator and hit the floor. "You think that eventually they are going to name this wing after us. We end up here enough." It was the same room Sam had been comatose in for awhile, so he knew where they were going.
"Yeah, well -- I'm sure they love the repeat customers," Ruby sighed softly, as she gave Sam's hand a squeeze. "How're you doing?"
"Need to walk for awhile to stretch my leg out, but I'm good. Just worried about Ben right now." He squeezed her hand back as they got to the hallway. He was curious on if Dean was around and going to meet them, or if they should just walk in.
Dean was standing by the window of the room, and he sensed when his brother arrived with Anna and Ruby. Stepping away, he started to make his way towards the door, giving his brother a nod as they started to come up the hallway. "I'm glad you could make it."
"It's not like I've never driven sixteen hours straight in the Impala," Sam said. He would offer his brother a hand but Ruby had one and the cane was in the other, so he just returned his nod. "How's Ben?"
"He's doing well," he nodded. "He has moments where he gets confused some, but mostly he's well."
"That's good." Sam looked into the room through the glass dividers. Ben was curled up in a chair, his back to them as he looked out a window. He looked thin, but unharmed otherwise. BUt he also looked scared. Licking his lips, he looked over at Anna. "Why don't you go see him then? I need to keep walking for a bit, and I'm sure he misses you."
"Okay," Anna sighed, starting to step into the room a bit. Dean watched her for a minute.
"I will let you two have some time alone. I won't be far if you need me."
"And I'm just going to do a lap around the floor. I'll be back soon," Sam assured her.
Ben heard voices in the hallway and curled up a bit more in the chair. He didn't know if it was doctors again or House starting to get curious about his condition, but he just kept his back turned and focused on the clouds outside. He did start to twitch a bit when it got quiet again, his finger playing with the IV still connected to him with nutrients to help up the blood count.
Ruby went to walk with Sam, and Anna just closed the door behind her when she stepped inside. She was quiet at first, not really sure what to say, but she started to make her way forward, slowly, hoping that by the time she got there she would figure it out, but even then that still didn't work. So she started with the easy part. She stopped just behind him, her arms crossing in front of her chest again as she looked over at him. "Hey."
He turned quickly in his seat to the voice. He would know Anna's voice anywhere, and he looked up at her with confused eyes. Twenty years of love flashed through his blue eyes, and then he bit his lip and looked away. "Hey... I didn't know..." He had no idea what to say.
"Sam gave me a ride from Ohio," she said softly, before pulling up one of the open chairs and turning it to face him. "Thought it'd be good to come and see you."
"I'm glad you did. I've missed you. I'm sorry... I should have told you..." He curled up a bit more, resting his head on his knees.
"Hey," she said softly, reaching forward and placing a hand on his. "I get why you didn't. It's okay. You're gonna be fine."
He turned his hand slowly to be able to hold her hand and squeeze it. "No... I know I am. But I should have told you what was going through my head. I kept it in, and this is what happened. I knew better but I just wanted things to go back to how it was..."
"And there's nothing wrong with that," she sighed. "There's nothing wrong with not liking change."
"I know. But it doesn't... he was going to show me how to get rid... and I went. I left you and I went..."
"Ben." She reached over, sliding her fingers under his chin so that she was turning him to look at her. "It's okay. Really."
He tried to resist looking at her. Not that he didn't but he looked at her and he could see a wedding and two children and long nights in her arms that didn't exist. There were tears in his eyes as he finally did. "We were so happy..." he said softly.
Her face softened slightly, and she moved her hand, letting it brush against the side of his face lightly. "And we're not now?"
"I'm trying to remember. Too much has just happened in my mind. It's hard, because you were in so much of it... so much of it." He closed his eyes and leaned his head against her hand. "It's a different kind of happiness."
"We'll figure it out."
"I just don't want to lose you because of what I saw... what I want to try and get back to." That was his fear right now with Anna. Losing her because of what he wanted again.
"No one ever said we couldn't, Ben."
He bit his lip. He couldn't tell her about their life. How she had never spent a life on the road. She had been happy barefoot and pregnant and he knew that the real Anna wouldn't be that. Not yet... maybe... but he wasn't that lucky in this world. "I can only hope." He looked up at her, his eyes sad. "I made you so happy, Anna. You were my world there."
She brushed her hand against his face again, moving her chair closer. "You make me happy here too."
"I'm trying so hard to remember where we were... I know I need to get back to that for you. It's just hard and I don't want to ask more from you that you aren't ready to give."
"Don't worry about that. Let me worry about that, okay?"
He shifted around in his seat, moving so that he could lean across the chair and rest his head in her shoulder. The hand with the IV slowly snaked around her waist, holding her as close as he could in this awkward position. "Okay," he said softly.
Anna closed her eyes as he leaned in to her, relaxing as she held him close. Now the fact that he was actually there was seeming a little more real, and she was feeling a little less worried. Yes, she was still worried about what the djinn had done to him, but for right now -- they were okay. And they would be okay.
"I... I don't know what to do now. I'm afraid to leave here." He told her softly.
"You go home," she said softly. "And we just take it one day at a time."
"Yeah. Or maybe... go back to school?"
"You want to?" she said, surprised but pleased with the suggestion.
"I figure it'll be something normal that I can ease back into. I might change my major. Just so it's different. I don't know yet."
"Well, take all the time you want to think it over. Just take it slow."
He nodded against her, keeping his eyes closed. "You'll stay with me for awhile, then?"
"Of course," she replied, turning and kissing his temple gently. "I'll stay as long as you need."
He smiled a bit, squeezing her hand. "Always taking care of me. That's why my mother always loved you."
She squeezed his hand back. "Well, that's good. Hate to know what would have happened if she hated me."
"Ask Amy. She got a good deal of it, stealing Alec away..." Ben stopped himself, his smile drifting away. "Sorry I slipped again."
"It's okay," she said softly. She wouldn't say it, but she was slightly curious as to what it was that he had created for himself. What kind of life he wanted that made him so happy.
"It probably won't be the last time. They tend to happen when I'm feeling happy." Ben chuckled. "I'm fine when I'm miserable."
She grinned. "Well, that doesn't seem fair."
"Tell me about it."
"Hopefully, with time, it'll even out, though."
"I hope so. I still see it when I sleep. If I can't have it, I just want it to fade away like any other dream so I can stop remembering it..."
"Well, maybe we can get something close, somewhere along the way."
"Maybe." He opened his eyes and looked down at how he was laying. "And maybe I should go lay down in my bed so we're both a bit more comfortable."
She nodded. "We can do that, if you'd rather lie down. Figured you've been stuck in bed for a while, you might want to get out and about."
"Actually, I don't mind being horizontal. I get lightheaded easily still." He unconsciously rubbed at the bandaged wrists that were raw and scared from being hung up for almost a week by his wrists.
"Okay," she nodded, pushing back just enough to get them so that they're standing up and making their way back to his bed.
Ben made his way back, grateful for the scrubs not being able to show his butt to the world, and he climbed back into bed. He curled up on his side, then moved over a bit to give Anna room to lean up on the bed with him.
Once he was settled she pushed herself up, curling up next to him on her side so that she was facing him.
His hand went to run along her cheek, then he leaned in to kiss her gently. "You always look so beautiful."
She kissed him back, just closing her eyes and keeping close. "I was so worried about you."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to find a way to bring Dad back, and he told me he know how to do it." He licked his lips. "He knows how to do something..."
"That symbol -- he gave it to you? I found it in your jacket. Alec says it forces angels to leave, or something like that."
"I know. I looked it up. That's why I believed him." Ben was quiet. "He meant it, Anna. He knows how to do things to angels. And he knows who Dad is because he used me to try and find him."
"Well, you got a look at him, right? We can warn Dean, tell him to keep an eye out."
Ben shook his head. "It was too long ago... for me. I can't remember his face."
"Oh," she nodded slowly. "Well, we'll figure it out."
"What if he tries again. He knows who Alec is. He probably knows all about Sam..."
"Then we'll be ready for him," she pointed out. "Sam is Sam, plus he's got Ruby watching his back, your dad's an archangel now, and you've got a lot of them watching out for you. You'll be fine, Ben. And when this guy shows his face again, we'll be ready for him."
"I hope so. I heard that the djinn had some kind of weapon on him."
"I don't know," she said with a bit of a shrug. "Dean didn't give me many details, just that you were okay."
"I'm better with him now..." Ben said softly. "It's the one good thing that came... if that I understand him better now."
"How so?"
"When I saw him at the hospital with Sam, he was so cold. I didn't see my father in his eyes. But now... seeing him rescue me... I can see Dad in him. It's never going to be the way it was... but I see him in there now."
"That's good," she nodded. "I'm glad things are working out."
"Me too. I need him right now. He knows... what this is like."
"This happened to him before?"
Ben nodded. "When he was just a bit older than I am now. Just not nearly as long."
"I see. I'm glad you have someone to talk to, then."
"It helps, that's for sure."
"Good."
Sam had finished two laps now and stood outside the door to Ben's room. They were on the bed now, and as Ben curled into Anna more, he hesitated on entering. "Maybe I should come back later," he said to Ruby. "He's in a tough spot and needs that kind of comfort more than me right now."
"It's up to you," she said softly. "He's your nephew."
"Part of the reason he's here is because of me," Sam pointed out.
"Sam," Ruby gave him a look, moving so that she was in front of him more. "Ben getting grabbed by a djinn is not your fault. It happens."
"He was there before of Dean becoming Michael, which is my fault," Sam said, looking down at her, knew what she was thinking, and raised an eyebrow. "And yes, I know him running was his choice, as was whatever he did to get into that situation. But he shouldn't have had a reason to run in the first place."
"Sam." Ruby looked up at him. "Dean becoming Michael was bound to happen eventually. Michael is part of Dean and Dean is part of him. And given what Dean said about what was going on with Ben, I think this might have happened regardless of whether or not Ben had run off."
"Maybe," Sam sighed.
"Not maybe," she said softly, nudging him a bit. "Look. You blaming yourself is not what he needs, alright? He just needs his uncle."
He lowered his head, his forehead resting against hers. "Alright. I'll put the guilt in the back pocket for later." He smiled just a bit and kissed her quickly. "What would I do without you?"
"You all would be dead," she said with a bit of a dry look as she returned the kiss. "No, really. You would."
He laughed softly, his smile genuine as he squeezed her hand and headed for the door. He opened the door carefully and went in, holding it until Ruby was safely in behind him. "Got energy for some more visitors?"
Ben turned away from looking at Anna and lifted his head. Sam looked healthy and was walking, not in a full body cast. That was really good. And seeing Ruby behind him made him smile. "As long as you're not here to ask for your bed back."
Sam laughed and pulled one of the chairs over to the bed, then sat down. "When you're out of it, I think we should salt and burn it so that none of us ever need it again."
"And then knowing you're luck one of you will be back in it again in five minutes," Ruby sighed as she grabbed the chairs and pulling them closer. "The only think we know for sure is that it won't be Dean."
"Knowing your luck, next time someone is here, it'll be you giving birth for the first time," Ben said.
Sam raised his eyebrow and leaned back, a smirk as he waited for Ruby to counter that as Ben bit his lip, worried he might have pissed his soon to be Aunt off.
Ruby gave Ben a stare, before shaking her head slightly. "I'm too old to be having children."
"Too bad. You guys made really great kids." Then his eyes fell away and he sighed. "Sorry, I shouldn't talk about that."
Sam reached over and squeezed Ben's arm. "It's ok. At least now I know you're on my side in this great debate."
Ruby turned her attention from Ben, startled that she had had kids in his fantasy world, before looking back over at her soon-to-be-husband. "I'm a seven hundred year-old ex-demon. I think my child-bearing years have passed, don't you."
"That's just in your mind," Sam told her. "You don't look a day over thirty."
"Mmm-hmm," Ruby said, still giving him a look. "That's not an excuse. I think how my mind feels is pretty important, don't you?"
"If you listened to the age in your mind, you'd be in a wheelchair with eight hundred cats and sixty seven pills a day keeping you alive while living in a glass box while a team of scientists watch your ever move while the people from Guinness keep an up to date tab of your age."
Ben couldn't help it. He chuckled, covering his mouth with his free hand.
"Yeah, well -- it's still my body he or she has to come out of, so I think I get a bit more of a say than you do."
Sam just sighed and looked at the younger couple on the bed. "Ben, just remember that in the end, we're never going to win."
Ben gave a small smile. "I learned that lesson many times over already. Only thing in both realities that will not change, I'm sure."
Ruby sighed softly, before her curiosity got the better of her. "Okay. I have to know. How many kids did Sam and I have exactly?"
He hesitated a moment, then sat up a bit so he could look at Sam and Ruby better. "Three. Michael, Mary - but she liked to be called Parker, and then little Olivia. After her you threatened castration."
"I'm surprised he even got me to have one," Ruby admitted honestly. "I take it I wasn't a demon there?"
Ben shook his head. He looked down at Anna and took her hand before looking back at Ruby. "No. There were no demons at all. You were a waitress at a bar near Stanford that Sam met before going to law school. Just a normal girl."
Ruby swallowed. "Well. Whadaya know."
Sam looked at Ruby and smiled. "Well, it's the closest to normal you'll ever get, right?"
"That wasn't me," she said with a sigh. "That was a figment in Ben's head." A beat. "No offense, kid. But this, right here, is this closest I'm ever gonna get to normal."
"I think you're wrong," Ben said. "Maybe it was all a figment of my imagination... but you two where happy there. And I didn't know you were getting married before I got kidnapped. I just gave it to you, I guess. It fit well."
Ruby's jaw clenched slightly, before she shook her head. "That still wasn't me. And I'm not saying me and Sam can't be happy, but it's not going to be in the same way."
Ben looked down and away. "I know. Nothing will ever be the same."
Sam gave Ruby a look, then reached over to touch Ben's shoulder. "No, but there's a chance that it'll be even better. Right?"
"Yeah. Sure." Ben's way of not really believing it. He wanted to, but it he been pretty damn good there. Getting better wasn't really something he could see happening.
Ruby gave Sam a look right back. She wasn't going to try and sugar coat it for Ben -- there really wasn't a way to do that. He was just going to have to adjust to this world again -- whether or not the other one was better.
"Listen, I'm getting tired. the doctors said I should try to sleep whenever I feel that way. Helps the body or something." It was an excuse. He didn't want to deal with people right now, and he was trying to politely kick them out of his room. He did squeeze Anna's hand though in a way to let her know she could stay if she wanted.
Sam nodded, licking his lips. "Yeah, your body repairs itself faster when you're sleeping."
"We'll let you sleep," Ruby nodded as well, starting to push herself up and help Sam up as well. "We should probably find somewhere to stay for the night anyway."
Anna squeezed his hand back, settling in closer to him.
Sam got up, ignoring the moment of pain in his hip as he straightened his leg back out. "Good idea. We'll come by tomorrow to check on you, ok? And if you need anything..."
"I know," Ben said. He nodded to them, then just curled up into Anna's arms, resting his head against her chest and closing his eyes.
He watched them a moment, then followed Ruby out of the room. "Well, that went well..."
Anna just slid her arms around him, letting him stay close and relax against her. Ruby just waited until Sam was out, before closing the door and speaking up. "I'm not gonna coddle him, Sam. I'm not gonna promise him that things could be like that world some day."
"He wasn't asking for promises, Ruby. He was looking for hope. There's a difference there." Sam was just a bit annoyed. "He's not asking you to go and bear kids to match his dream world. He just hopes you have that kind of happiness. That's something that helps pull people out of depressions, which he's trying to fight out of."
"So you're saying I have to have kids to be that happy?" she asked, turning to face him and raising an eyebrow. "I never said I wasn't happy, Sam."
"No, I'm not saying that at all." He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "I know you're happy. It's just... a different kind of happiness."
Ruby paused for a moment, before taking a step closer to him, letting her hands rest on his arms lightly. "Were you really hoping for that?"
His eyes lowered a moment and he sighed, then looked back into hers. "I was, actually. I mean, I'm scared as all hell because I see what the demons do to Dean's kids. I doubt ours would be any luckier. And I'm worried about passing on my abilities... but I was still hoping."
She sighed softly, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Sam ... " If she'd have anyone's kids, it would be his. But she wasn't exactly thrilled with the prospect. She swallowed a bit, before giving him a bit of a dry smirk. "Let's get you well enough that was could actually be able to make a baby, and then we'll worry about it, okay."
"I'm not going to pressure you into doing something you don't want to," Sam stated. "I've seen how well that works for me in the past. I was just hoping I could at least get a bit of say in that." He didn't match her smirk, but he did roll his eyes. "Don't blame me on that. Blame your sword wielding angelic brother in law."
She sighed softly, before moving in to kiss him gently. "I love you. I want you to be happy. We'll talk about it. I just don't want to talk about it in terms of making this world better for Ben." Which, to her, was what it felt like. "Let's just get out of here first."
"Sure. You pick the motel this time." He smiled a bit after the kiss, then took her hand. "And if you're lucky, we can see if I'm able to handle heavy making out. How about that?" He teased gently.
She smirked back at him, before giving his hand a squeeze. "We'll see. Don't get in over your head, Romeo."