meeting the parent
ben and i still have not spoken about what happened. that is happening tomorrow evening.
but today, i wanted to relax and forget about all that shit. karina and i decided to go have some sushi. we walked in the door of pink godzilla and we immediately saw sweet little ben, sitting there with his FATHER, eating sushi.
"should we go?" asked karina, "do you want to leave?"
"No, no, no," i said, "it's fine. i want my hawaiin roll. this is my favorite sushi place too. he doesn't own it just 'cause he was here first with his dad."
i started to call him with my phone and do something cute like, "hey ben, look left," but thought better of it and hung up, only to see him look at his phone a few seconds later. i'm an idiot.
the hostess seated us two tables away from ben and his dad. they were talking but i couldn't hear what they were saying. karina told me i had to go say something, or otherwise it would be weird when he saw me. i just didn't want to bother him or make him uncomfortable when he was with his dad.
when i get nervous i react very physically, so at this point my hands were shaking so bad i had to press them against the table to hide it, and i began to go into back spasms.
i went over to say 'hi' after we ordered, and when ben sees me he definitely looks taken aback. the first thing he says to me is:
"have you been sitting there the whole time?"
"yes... i mean no. we just got here. karina and i are just having lunch."
"i saw i had a missed call from you."
i felt like such a douchebag. ben introduced me to his dad, who wiped his hand off and shook mine, at which point i noticed that ben's hands and his dad's feel exactly the same, which totally creeped me out for some reason.
then i realized that ben may have been talking to his dad about me. i might be paranoid. but what if? what if they were talking about me when i walked in and ben thinks i heard? thinks i was eavesdropping? at this point the idea of going to the bathroom and vomiting sounds like fun, but i just said, "nice to meet you. see you tomorrow, ben." and walked away.
karina is going through a shitty man thing too, so after lunch we decided we needed a hug. we stood outside pink godzilla embracing tightly and bemoaning our current situations.
later in the evening i visited amber and chris. i want to say it took a lot of willpower not to drive by ben's house on the way there and back, because they live so close, but it really didn't. i guess i'm growing up. when i was in high school i would drive by the houses of boys i liked all the time. it never got me anywhere, and i guess i've learned that. amber, chris, niblet, jess, karaoke and DDR took my mind off of things for a few hours, and now i may be ready for some sleep.
big day tomorrow:
work. yoga. honesty.
but today, i wanted to relax and forget about all that shit. karina and i decided to go have some sushi. we walked in the door of pink godzilla and we immediately saw sweet little ben, sitting there with his FATHER, eating sushi.
"should we go?" asked karina, "do you want to leave?"
"No, no, no," i said, "it's fine. i want my hawaiin roll. this is my favorite sushi place too. he doesn't own it just 'cause he was here first with his dad."
i started to call him with my phone and do something cute like, "hey ben, look left," but thought better of it and hung up, only to see him look at his phone a few seconds later. i'm an idiot.
the hostess seated us two tables away from ben and his dad. they were talking but i couldn't hear what they were saying. karina told me i had to go say something, or otherwise it would be weird when he saw me. i just didn't want to bother him or make him uncomfortable when he was with his dad.
when i get nervous i react very physically, so at this point my hands were shaking so bad i had to press them against the table to hide it, and i began to go into back spasms.
i went over to say 'hi' after we ordered, and when ben sees me he definitely looks taken aback. the first thing he says to me is:
"have you been sitting there the whole time?"
"yes... i mean no. we just got here. karina and i are just having lunch."
"i saw i had a missed call from you."
i felt like such a douchebag. ben introduced me to his dad, who wiped his hand off and shook mine, at which point i noticed that ben's hands and his dad's feel exactly the same, which totally creeped me out for some reason.
then i realized that ben may have been talking to his dad about me. i might be paranoid. but what if? what if they were talking about me when i walked in and ben thinks i heard? thinks i was eavesdropping? at this point the idea of going to the bathroom and vomiting sounds like fun, but i just said, "nice to meet you. see you tomorrow, ben." and walked away.
karina is going through a shitty man thing too, so after lunch we decided we needed a hug. we stood outside pink godzilla embracing tightly and bemoaning our current situations.
later in the evening i visited amber and chris. i want to say it took a lot of willpower not to drive by ben's house on the way there and back, because they live so close, but it really didn't. i guess i'm growing up. when i was in high school i would drive by the houses of boys i liked all the time. it never got me anywhere, and i guess i've learned that. amber, chris, niblet, jess, karaoke and DDR took my mind off of things for a few hours, and now i may be ready for some sleep.
big day tomorrow:
work. yoga. honesty.