Time, The Revelator.
I saw Conor Oberst last night. I did..
It hasn't necessarily entered into my mind fully-
but it has, at the same time.
I won't say he let me down. But I think by my seeing him, it brought him down to earth.
I've held him so high for so long. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel differently about him now.
-Don't get me wrong-he's still my favorite. But..there's just something very different now.
I think that if I ever get the chance to actually sit down and speak with him, I'll be perfectly able.
Things used to not be that way....I thought i'd die if he ever even looked at me in reality.
No, no. He's one of us. Brilliant, but still one of us. Nothing more, nothing less.
Nice realization.
Also, Gillian Welch opened for him...I'd never listened to Gillian Welch previous to last night.
My mind was blown to pieces. My stomach fell to my feet, and my heart rose to my throat.
Those two together....inspired me like nothing else.
I'm afraid, i'm so afraid to sing in front of people. I'm scared to sing, or play the guitar. I'm afraid to
put my words, my voice, my song, my strings, my fingers, my self out in the air for whomever to judge.
Jason and I had a conversation recently about how I needed to get over my fear, and when I come back down,
i'll play some shows with him. Well, it's a beautiful thought, and I really would love that more than...anyone
could possible imagine---but I can barely even sing (REALLY SING, like CORINNE) in front of him, and he's
my best friend. ?
Watching Gillian Welch and Dave Rawling play and sing together shook my doubts-
and no matter what anyone has ever said to me about my voice, or guitar skills, or whatever-
they have never truly touched my doubt, much less shook it.
These two..
These two.
Are perfect.
I saw Jason and I up there as I watched them. I saw us..
It could be a dream. something silly and false..
but i've never had that hope. i've never once-----seen so much love on the stage before.
it made me feel like--(and Conor's performance as well) that if we didn't have music..
some of us would be dead. It is such a part of us...such a gift............perfection is the goal.
but not held to anyone else's standards! ...and that's what I have to learn. and that's what I have to..
Alright. Alright.
I am touched.
deeply.