Red light. . . .Green light, RED LIGHT. . . . .Green Light . .
That nervous feeling that you get as you are listening that an o so familiar voice on the cell phone and you realize that your car is running out of gas . . . That is how I feel all of the time. I am not sure if any of you have this problem, but I have. It isn't the helplessness it is that nervousness that you pray and beg that luck will get you through, that is the feeling I can claim as my own. I am so full of life and of love. It is overflowing from me in everything I do, except for homework, which doesn't get done at all. I am woman enough to say that i have SPRING FEVER! and I have it bad. But I do have to say that i am so sure it goes far beyond that. I have this zest for life, I want to run and jump and yell and sing and cry and dance and most of all, I want to love. a friend of mine, Lauren, posted this incredible quote on her LJ that reminded me how short life really is, and how easily wasted. From the death and cold of winter it provided a warm comfort. I am not now, or ever will I be, content with being mediocre. I have to make choices about my future and the person I am to become and I have to make them now. I pray that not only grace, but maybe a little bit of luck will get me through this crazy transition from child to adult. I also pray that with each passing day I will be come more "wild at heart", I want to love recklessly. . . it keeps things interesting. I know that you probably will not see this, but I love you. Thank you for teaching me that loves lost does not mean i have to be scared. thanks for the lesson that I can invest again and return a million fold what i had before. your voice is in my heart always, and your eyes look strait through my soul. I am so thankful for you that I don't know if i can bear it. Your love is so strong that is should crush me, but instead lifts me to places I could never reach on my own.