(no subject)
i don't think kitho and i are going to make it. i want to cry and make it better, but the truth is, i don't know how much i want it vs. how scared i am to be without him.
we have got the weirdest living situation going right now. we broke up tonight, amicably (if such a thing truly exists), but we're both too poor to move out. so we're going to hang on til the lease ends in july, and then go our separate ways.
i don't know if it will happen, because these things seem to flare up every now and then, but i literally cannot think about life without him in it. i was just trying to go through tonight and delete couple pics from FB, but there are so many, that i was crying too hard to delete after the 3rd or 4th pic.
he says that he doesn't feel about me like he should. he knows that people are supposed to feel excited and passion about their lover, and he only feels comfort and support around me. what a shitty way to go out, huh? undone by being the dependable, caring one.
i hate this so much, but part of me feels like i've been carrying the dead carcass of this relationship around for so long, i don't know what i'd do without the burden. Maybe it will be a good thing, and maybe i'll be happy one day (or even grateful).
i kind of doubt it, though, because i normally just hate with the intensity of 1000 suns when i get dumped.
i also have finals 20 days from today. fml. seriously.
we have got the weirdest living situation going right now. we broke up tonight, amicably (if such a thing truly exists), but we're both too poor to move out. so we're going to hang on til the lease ends in july, and then go our separate ways.
i don't know if it will happen, because these things seem to flare up every now and then, but i literally cannot think about life without him in it. i was just trying to go through tonight and delete couple pics from FB, but there are so many, that i was crying too hard to delete after the 3rd or 4th pic.
he says that he doesn't feel about me like he should. he knows that people are supposed to feel excited and passion about their lover, and he only feels comfort and support around me. what a shitty way to go out, huh? undone by being the dependable, caring one.
i hate this so much, but part of me feels like i've been carrying the dead carcass of this relationship around for so long, i don't know what i'd do without the burden. Maybe it will be a good thing, and maybe i'll be happy one day (or even grateful).
i kind of doubt it, though, because i normally just hate with the intensity of 1000 suns when i get dumped.
i also have finals 20 days from today. fml. seriously.