I refuse to put forth the effort to be cordial, but that hurts me
Seeing a lot of people in a short space of time makes me emotionally tired. I am drained to empty and running on bitch fumes. But then maybe it's just who I am on the bottom.
A List of Things I Did This Weekend Edited to My Best Advantage:
1. Met boys with bouncy balls in their bathroom.
2. watched sex in the city and ate cookies and made banana daquiris yummm
3. Made Mochi in three different colors (and spent some quality time feeling the starch because starch feels cool)
4. Blow dried my hair and put on eye makeup to drink with strangers (and then drank with them, and then only talked to people I knew already which was the best anyways) [and also wore no shoes because fuck shoes]
5. Ate pancakes in the morning. Banana, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, yummmm
6. Watched /Bhaji on the Beach/ with Tracey
7. Watched /True West/ in Santa Monica wearing makeup and clothes from previous night (note: I don't like the feeling that you are hanging out with multiple people who know you but don't know each other and you kind of have to moderate. It's awkward even when you know they are self sufficient and capable socialites.I still feel responsibility which is hard. I suck at people mostly)
8. Discovered banana pancakes are fantastic with peanut butter on top.
9. Played Apples to Apples and Scattergories randomly while drinking mango rum from a mug
10. Called a stupid boy and felt indifferent and upset about it (upset being a result of being drained) [I know tracey will read this and be mad that I did not tell her who it was in person, but it is hard to say things out loud when you don't know what you're doing]
11. watched sex in the city
I did not do enough work this weekend. I am scareder and scareder about after graduation and also about graduating in general. I do not want to go to the ceremony. It will hurt my feelings to have to even think about it.
A List of Things I Did This Weekend Edited to My Best Advantage:
1. Met boys with bouncy balls in their bathroom.
2. watched sex in the city and ate cookies and made banana daquiris yummm
3. Made Mochi in three different colors (and spent some quality time feeling the starch because starch feels cool)
4. Blow dried my hair and put on eye makeup to drink with strangers (and then drank with them, and then only talked to people I knew already which was the best anyways) [and also wore no shoes because fuck shoes]
5. Ate pancakes in the morning. Banana, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, yummmm
6. Watched /Bhaji on the Beach/ with Tracey
7. Watched /True West/ in Santa Monica wearing makeup and clothes from previous night (note: I don't like the feeling that you are hanging out with multiple people who know you but don't know each other and you kind of have to moderate. It's awkward even when you know they are self sufficient and capable socialites.I still feel responsibility which is hard. I suck at people mostly)
8. Discovered banana pancakes are fantastic with peanut butter on top.
9. Played Apples to Apples and Scattergories randomly while drinking mango rum from a mug
10. Called a stupid boy and felt indifferent and upset about it (upset being a result of being drained) [I know tracey will read this and be mad that I did not tell her who it was in person, but it is hard to say things out loud when you don't know what you're doing]
11. watched sex in the city
I did not do enough work this weekend. I am scareder and scareder about after graduation and also about graduating in general. I do not want to go to the ceremony. It will hurt my feelings to have to even think about it.