time suckage
i spend way too much time online. and i think i'd feel better about it if i felt i was actually doing something - but i'm not and i don't. i just surf randomly and circularly - and then i wonder where my day went.
i'm lucky in that i don't have a job. i don't have to have a job. i should be jumping out of bed and literally seizing each day. but i don't do that either. and i wonder the hell my damn problem is.
sometimes i think people equate your job with self worth. or maybe just me. but only for myself. because i think other ppl that don't work are cool too. just not me.
i am a schedule driven, organize-lovin' kinda girl. i need routine and direction. i need to be steered. someone write me daily schedule and mail it to me and i'll follow it.
why can i recognize my problems but feel so helpless to correct them? because i do. feel helpless.
today is just one of those days i ask "why" i question myself and the universe and the meaning of anything. i'd rather sleep - but i'd just wake up feeling like shit. so i won't. and besides... i'd probably just end up sleeping through Survivor. and Will and Grace. and ER
and we can't have that, now can we?
addendum: oh, and apparantly it's "i" before "e" except after "c" - and after "s" in the word seizing. just so you know.
i'm lucky in that i don't have a job. i don't have to have a job. i should be jumping out of bed and literally seizing each day. but i don't do that either. and i wonder the hell my damn problem is.
sometimes i think people equate your job with self worth. or maybe just me. but only for myself. because i think other ppl that don't work are cool too. just not me.
i am a schedule driven, organize-lovin' kinda girl. i need routine and direction. i need to be steered. someone write me daily schedule and mail it to me and i'll follow it.
why can i recognize my problems but feel so helpless to correct them? because i do. feel helpless.
today is just one of those days i ask "why" i question myself and the universe and the meaning of anything. i'd rather sleep - but i'd just wake up feeling like shit. so i won't. and besides... i'd probably just end up sleeping through Survivor. and Will and Grace. and ER
and we can't have that, now can we?
addendum: oh, and apparantly it's "i" before "e" except after "c" - and after "s" in the word seizing. just so you know.