Is it real???
I wonder if it's real. I have taught myself to hope for happiness for so long, that I don't really know when it's here. The words say it's here, but just not now not yet. I try to be myself, but she doesn't respond to what it is I am. I want to be playful and close as two should be. I want to feel her near me even though we can't be close physically. Am I asking too much? Or do I still live locked behind walls where I can't even pretend to fill my desires without being laughed at or shot down. I have learned patience. I have worked on control. I have learned it to the point where I feel guilt for expressing myself as a man. This can't be right. It's not me. Is this real??