ALIEN VOMIT PANCAKE MONSTERS!
So, it's ridiculously quiet here, given that it's Easter Break and most of the students have gone home. And when left to my own devices (and expected to study! Heavens forbid!) I tend to resort to baked goods (or, well, sugar in general) as a coping mechanism.
Now, we had assorted baking things (sugar, flour, baking soda, &c) lying around from the last epic baking extravaganza we did, and I figured it wouldn't be a big problem to use the last of it up making chocolate chip cookies (AKA. The best goddamn cookies in the universe).
And, really, it all started out very well.
Now, the important thing to note here is: I can't cook. I'm utterly hopeless at cooking, and at guessing portions, and not burning things and whatnot. But I can bake. I used to bake early in the morning to give me something to do when the highschool-induced insomnia hit back when I was a teen. I'd make cookies and banana bread at 4 am, and then eat it before catching a few desperate hours of sleep. So, when it comes to baking, dude I've got it covered, K?
Anyway. Baking conditions were less than ideal. The brown sugar was unexpectedly hard, there were no cookie sheets, and the oven is a piece of crap. However! I did prevail, at least as far as making the dough was concerned.
See? Dough. Mmm... good. So, the dough was fan-fucking-tastic. I'm not even kidding. It's amazing any of it made it into the oven because I made the colossal mistake of sampling it and had to fight so hard not to just eat the whole goddamn thing right there with a spoon.
But I did manage to get a batch into the oven. And then out of the oven. Only to discover this:
Okay. This picture in no way does the utter horror of these things justice. Seriously. They looked like those weird pancake vomit monster aliens from Operation - Annihilate!
(The weird pancake vomit monster alien attached to Spock's back, in case you weren't immediately aware of what I was referring to.
Also, for the record, I'm not just throwing the 'vomit' in there for fun -- apparently these aliens were actually little plastic fake vomit things. God - I love Star Trek.)
So, I did what any sane (andTrek-watching) person would do: I grabbed the dough and got the crap out of there.
For serious, though... I really don't understand what happened. I'm pretty sure the cookies weren't supposed to be half a centimetre thin and impossible to separate from the cookie sheet. I followed the ingredients to the letter - so I'm not sure what it is in the cookie that wasn't working.
But the good news is: the dough was still really, really good. So, on the whole, not a complete loss.
Now, we had assorted baking things (sugar, flour, baking soda, &c) lying around from the last epic baking extravaganza we did, and I figured it wouldn't be a big problem to use the last of it up making chocolate chip cookies (AKA. The best goddamn cookies in the universe).
And, really, it all started out very well.
Now, the important thing to note here is: I can't cook. I'm utterly hopeless at cooking, and at guessing portions, and not burning things and whatnot. But I can bake. I used to bake early in the morning to give me something to do when the highschool-induced insomnia hit back when I was a teen. I'd make cookies and banana bread at 4 am, and then eat it before catching a few desperate hours of sleep. So, when it comes to baking, dude I've got it covered, K?
Anyway. Baking conditions were less than ideal. The brown sugar was unexpectedly hard, there were no cookie sheets, and the oven is a piece of crap. However! I did prevail, at least as far as making the dough was concerned.
See? Dough. Mmm... good. So, the dough was fan-fucking-tastic. I'm not even kidding. It's amazing any of it made it into the oven because I made the colossal mistake of sampling it and had to fight so hard not to just eat the whole goddamn thing right there with a spoon.
But I did manage to get a batch into the oven. And then out of the oven. Only to discover this:
Okay. This picture in no way does the utter horror of these things justice. Seriously. They looked like those weird pancake vomit monster aliens from Operation - Annihilate!
(The weird pancake vomit monster alien attached to Spock's back, in case you weren't immediately aware of what I was referring to.
Also, for the record, I'm not just throwing the 'vomit' in there for fun -- apparently these aliens were actually little plastic fake vomit things. God - I love Star Trek.)
So, I did what any sane (andTrek-watching) person would do: I grabbed the dough and got the crap out of there.
For serious, though... I really don't understand what happened. I'm pretty sure the cookies weren't supposed to be half a centimetre thin and impossible to separate from the cookie sheet. I followed the ingredients to the letter - so I'm not sure what it is in the cookie that wasn't working.
But the good news is: the dough was still really, really good. So, on the whole, not a complete loss.