Progress Report
This is just a progress report on how I’ve been coping.
I woke up this morning feeling light not thinking of anything that has something to do with him.
I prayed for this a long time ago - that my heart be cleared of him.
From now on, I think of him as a long winding dream that does not have anything to do with our waking lives. Like a dream, my subconscious might allow him to visit me in slumber from time to time but that’s that. A dream that should not go beyond sleep.
Our long face-to-face conversation last week made me realize that we are better off as friends. No more. No less. I hope we remain good friends.
I can’t imagine losing him as a friend. He would always be that one person that I can talk about anything and everything without hesitations. But perhaps the talk about “us” would be the most sensitive topic to open up. I won’t and I never did.
He’d always said that we will talk about it; but he never opened up. Which I think worked to our advantage. Like what they say: less talk, less mistake.
I loved him and I think I always will. Ironic because I just said I’m over. Yes, I’m over. I’m over with all the expectations. I’m over with waiting for him to become what I hope he would be.