hmmm
i feel really helpless. i'm not in control of my life. everyone else controls it. they control what happens, where i go, what i do, how i feel.. everything. then when i am finally given the opportunity to make a choice, i can't. i need someone to do it for me. when i go to a friends house, they ask "what do you want to do?" i can't give them an answer. i can't do anything. i couldn't even get into college on my own. Mrs. McLaughlin basically forced me to apply to SSC, she helped me write my essay and resume.
i'm just a big fuck up.
i'm just a big fuck up.