(no subject)
i'm so fucking bored omg.
i decided i'm never falling in love. i don't care i can't do it. i can't handle that much shit. i always thought the problem would be me getting married and getting divorced, but what if the both of us aren't in it to FALL or BE in love, but just to have someone? we wouldn't divorce because we'd like being together. that i could live with..but being married because i fell in love would kill me. i don't want kids because i would screw up their lives. they'll grow up not knowing anything and they'd always be confused about their emotions. hmm.. i just need someone to cuddle with.
i don't know why i wrote all that, but its how i feel.
and something else.... you know the creepy guy that talks to me? i like talking to him. i'm not sure why, but i do. he isn't so creepy anymore even though nothings really changed.
hmm so many different thoughts in my head. i dunno about anyone. i don't have any crushes. i thought i had one on Kaan, but thats dying.. i haven't heard from him, i don't even know if hes back from Italy yet. i thought i had a crush on my friend Andrew. but i don't think so anymore. i had a tiny tiny tiny crush on my friend Jae, but not really. and just other guys that aren't right for me.
no one will ever see me as beautiful...
i decided i'm never falling in love. i don't care i can't do it. i can't handle that much shit. i always thought the problem would be me getting married and getting divorced, but what if the both of us aren't in it to FALL or BE in love, but just to have someone? we wouldn't divorce because we'd like being together. that i could live with..but being married because i fell in love would kill me. i don't want kids because i would screw up their lives. they'll grow up not knowing anything and they'd always be confused about their emotions. hmm.. i just need someone to cuddle with.
i don't know why i wrote all that, but its how i feel.
and something else.... you know the creepy guy that talks to me? i like talking to him. i'm not sure why, but i do. he isn't so creepy anymore even though nothings really changed.
hmm so many different thoughts in my head. i dunno about anyone. i don't have any crushes. i thought i had one on Kaan, but thats dying.. i haven't heard from him, i don't even know if hes back from Italy yet. i thought i had a crush on my friend Andrew. but i don't think so anymore. i had a tiny tiny tiny crush on my friend Jae, but not really. and just other guys that aren't right for me.
no one will ever see me as beautiful...