la la la la life goes on.
Had a good time visitin with Heather and Jeffers. It's nice to see Cate and mom too. Cate tried on wedding dresses, we shopped at IKEA, and saw the body worlds exhibit. Not bad for a day and a half trip. I did get home a lot later than I wanted (one in the morning), and family drama will happen of course, so that is there in my brain, swimming around and doing laps.
It's amazing how little self confidence and poor self image I really od have about myself. I'll carry this persona and on the outside act like things don't really bother me, but some people will go right through that friggin shell and BAM! MAybe because they're family and childhood stuff surfaces every now and again so I become hypersensitive. Dunno, but it just feels like I'm belittled with my family. Sure they will give me attention and listen to me, but it feelsl ike they are only half interested in what I have to say, and heaven forbid that I get worked up or upset. I don't see them often, so why should I make it a bad time?? What might help me feel better might be when they are planning things, to put the other daughter that lives in the south eastern corner of the state into consideration.
Yeah, there's a lot going on in my head. I feel like I want to cry I'm so frustrated. I'm just tired...Of so much...
It's amazing how little self confidence and poor self image I really od have about myself. I'll carry this persona and on the outside act like things don't really bother me, but some people will go right through that friggin shell and BAM! MAybe because they're family and childhood stuff surfaces every now and again so I become hypersensitive. Dunno, but it just feels like I'm belittled with my family. Sure they will give me attention and listen to me, but it feelsl ike they are only half interested in what I have to say, and heaven forbid that I get worked up or upset. I don't see them often, so why should I make it a bad time?? What might help me feel better might be when they are planning things, to put the other daughter that lives in the south eastern corner of the state into consideration.
Yeah, there's a lot going on in my head. I feel like I want to cry I'm so frustrated. I'm just tired...Of so much...