(no subject)
i thought "oh ok lets just get through this first two weeks and then everything will be okay. but no i'm not going to have a day off for atleast the first month, then i will still have to work at least 2 nights a week on ehere and one in anohther building.. which by the way i hope someone will be willing to bring me back here because i am not walking back to mitchell from dudley or aswell after midnight. hell no. i'm going to have to work all the time. i'm never going to see ben becuase the times when i'm not working i'm going to have to be over here for something so i'll only see him when we're in class basiclly.
i feel horrible becuase i keep complaining to him and i know he doesn't want to here it, but i have no other friends here, none. i don't have anyone else i can just talk to and hes the one i want to talk to anyway. what can i say i love him(thats right i love you but you knew that :-P) and hes the one i want to talk to and i want to tell him whats going on with me and my day and stuff. hes sick of hearing it. but i can't seem to stop myself from saying it all.
apperantly i'm the only one whos getting so stressed. everyone else doesnt like that we have to work so much and that we will be working almost twice as many hours as we are supposed to be still getting paid for just the regular times.
i guess i'm just overreacting. maybe i'm not looking at things with the right mindset but right now i'm just scared i'm not going to be able to handle it. i want this job, i like a lot of this job but i dont know if i will be able to handle all of this ontop of school.
mark and sarah were oging to come see us this weekend but because of all of the stuff we have to do now they can't, well they can but we're going to be busy and they are going to end up just sittin gin our rooms bored.
i shouldn't be so frustrated or crying over all this nonsense. i shouldn't be worried about not getting to see ben becuase i know he loves me and i know he will talk to me and i know he will miss me too. i shouldn't be acting like this.
how can i know that but then i cant help myself from doing it anyway.
i feel horrible becuase i keep complaining to him and i know he doesn't want to here it, but i have no other friends here, none. i don't have anyone else i can just talk to and hes the one i want to talk to anyway. what can i say i love him(thats right i love you but you knew that :-P) and hes the one i want to talk to and i want to tell him whats going on with me and my day and stuff. hes sick of hearing it. but i can't seem to stop myself from saying it all.
apperantly i'm the only one whos getting so stressed. everyone else doesnt like that we have to work so much and that we will be working almost twice as many hours as we are supposed to be still getting paid for just the regular times.
i guess i'm just overreacting. maybe i'm not looking at things with the right mindset but right now i'm just scared i'm not going to be able to handle it. i want this job, i like a lot of this job but i dont know if i will be able to handle all of this ontop of school.
mark and sarah were oging to come see us this weekend but because of all of the stuff we have to do now they can't, well they can but we're going to be busy and they are going to end up just sittin gin our rooms bored.
i shouldn't be so frustrated or crying over all this nonsense. i shouldn't be worried about not getting to see ben becuase i know he loves me and i know he will talk to me and i know he will miss me too. i shouldn't be acting like this.
how can i know that but then i cant help myself from doing it anyway.