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[wasteofspace]

I woke up feeling very sad this morning. It was like i was visiting with an old friend. I listened to music and layed in bed scared to wake up or make any single decision. It was like old times. I don't think i want to stay that well but in a way it felt good to be sad and scared

Comments

[vexedgrin]

i believe you are right when you say you don't like your life to be boring. but i don't think you are happiest watching your life crash around you. I just think it is very hard to watch your life rise up because you must be involved for it to build up...but, it is very easy to watch your life crash down. you want to have your cake and eat it too. You want an exciting life, but just to look at not to play with. well you can't have an exciting life without participating in it...FULLY! Of course you can watch and still have an exciting life but you will only be able to watch it collapse which can not REALLY make you happy because you said "I enjoy watching the walls of my life fall down around me. This is when I am happy."
"I don't write in livejournal when I am happy." so if watching the walls of your life fall down makes you happy, then why did you write it in livejournal if you only wright in livejournal when your NOT happy? hehe sorry, im sure you didn't mean it so literally it just made me smile when i realized the contradiction and thought it might make you laugh to. well i wrote far too much of my circlular logic as my manager likes to call it, so im calling it a night. love you. sweet dreams **