Late-night advertising. For... Truckers...
Here we go:
When you're away from home and you're sinning, but there's no confession booth in sight, you HAVE to have that relief that God gives you! We understand that, and that's why we've created the Gosh-Darned Confession Hotline! No matter where you are in the United States (residents of Alaska, Hawaii, Cuba and Las Vegas may experience difficulty) you can get a direct line to God through our specially-trained Phone Phathers! Anywhere in the United States (except for Alaska, Hawaii, Cuba and Las Vegas) you can dial 1-800-JEEZUSS! (1-800-533-9877) The Gosh-Darned Confession Hotline is strictly confidential, so all of your sins will be kept between you and the Big Man. Call 1-800-JEEZUSS (1-800-533-9877) now! You know you've made a little boo-boo! The Gosh-Darned Confession Hotline is good, non-profit, church-provided listening that you know you can trust! After all, two thousand years and counting MUST make God a good thing! Call now, and tell us what you've done wrong! For just eighty-nine cents per minute, God forgives all through the Gosh-Darned confession Hotline! Available anywhere in the United States! (except for Alaska, you pagans, Hawaii, you gays, Cuba, you communists, and Las Vegas, you poor, f*%#ed-up people)
Don't hate me. I'm only goofing around. I don't think there's anything wrong with gay communist pagans that like poker and whores.
When you're away from home and you're sinning, but there's no confession booth in sight, you HAVE to have that relief that God gives you! We understand that, and that's why we've created the Gosh-Darned Confession Hotline! No matter where you are in the United States (residents of Alaska, Hawaii, Cuba and Las Vegas may experience difficulty) you can get a direct line to God through our specially-trained Phone Phathers! Anywhere in the United States (except for Alaska, Hawaii, Cuba and Las Vegas) you can dial 1-800-JEEZUSS! (1-800-533-9877) The Gosh-Darned Confession Hotline is strictly confidential, so all of your sins will be kept between you and the Big Man. Call 1-800-JEEZUSS (1-800-533-9877) now! You know you've made a little boo-boo! The Gosh-Darned Confession Hotline is good, non-profit, church-provided listening that you know you can trust! After all, two thousand years and counting MUST make God a good thing! Call now, and tell us what you've done wrong! For just eighty-nine cents per minute, God forgives all through the Gosh-Darned confession Hotline! Available anywhere in the United States! (except for Alaska, you pagans, Hawaii, you gays, Cuba, you communists, and Las Vegas, you poor, f*%#ed-up people)
Don't hate me. I'm only goofing around. I don't think there's anything wrong with gay communist pagans that like poker and whores.