(no subject)
Do you ever feel that you've lost touch with some of the closest people to you SO MUCH that when you're around them it's like they DON'T want you around anymore...or they started talking badly about you.
Like...when they see you they just... DON'T CARE.
I've definitely started to feel a little bit alienated from a few of my friends.... two of which I consider very important in my life.
I apologize for nothing though, seeing as how I haven't done anything wrong other than spent more time fixing myself then spending with everyone else.
I'm tired of giving so much of my energy & time to other people who don't care, don't notice, or don't give it back.
I tried to be a model human, I tried to be the type of person that others would consider to be the ideal way a person should be. LIke, I tried to be a friend that a friend would like to have.
& you know what that's gotten me?
I get used everyday. People don't ask my permission for anything, I get stepped on & when I try to defend myself suddenly I'm a bitch?
I sit here all day everyday trying to give you the best of me & what do I get? I get to be yelled at for trying to not be a doormat anymore.
Don't boss me around, don't tell me I'm wrong about something you know nothing about, don't keep pushing me around & expecting me to keep quiet about it.
I'm so sick of how selfish everyone is. Even me sometimes. I notice how selfish I can be sometimes & I get sick. I literally don't want to leave my room sometimes knowing that we are all ungrateful about everything. I'm so tired of feeling like I get everything handed to me on a silver platter.
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm pretty much sick of people who don't appreciate their lives.
I'm sick of self absorbed, self-centered people who only expect to get things, & never give them.
I'm sick of being told what to do & having someone tell me I'm not right when I disagree.
I don't care what anyone says....quit treating me like I'm a dog. You don't have to train me to do tricks, don't beat me when I do something wrong, don't put me on a leash & tell me what to do.
I'm frustrated, yes, extremely really, but can I get mad without someone jumping down my throat for having a bad day or just not wanting to put up with it? NO.
I'm so sick of people. Not just people, myself for letting them do what they do to me.
I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but I'm also frustrated.
So many good things go unnoticed everyday, you can't appreciate everything...but everyone once in a while it'd be nice for you to be grateful for the life you have & the small things that got you here.
Fuck.