Shuffle Tournament Meme
For once, I'm making up a meme. That probably guarantees I'll be not only the first, but the ONLY person ever to write on it.
*Pick the size of your tournament. It should be an exponent of two--2, 4, 8, 16, 32, or 64. But the bigger your tournament is, the more you'll have to write about the songs in it.
*Open "shuffle" on your media player.
*List the titles of the first 2 (or 4, 8, 16, 32, or 64) songs that play (in the order that they play--be honest.)
*Match the songs up by their "seeds" (a/k/a their numbers; in an eight-seed tourney, that's #1 against #8, #2 vs. #7, #3 vs. #6, etc.)
*Compare the two songs in the matchup and pick the one you like better, explaining your reasoning.
*On to the next round and repeat until you have a champion song.
Here's my eight-song tournament
1. "Funeral for a Friend (Love Lies Bleeding)" by Elton John 11:07
2. "Hungry Freaks, Daddy" by the Mothers of Invention
3. "Spellbound" by Poco
4. "Skinhead Stomp" by Camper Van Beethoven
5. "Streams of Whiskey" by the Pogues
6. "Strawberry Fields Forever" by the Beatles
7. "Expresso Love" by Dire Straits
8. "She Makes Me (Stormtrooper in Stilettoes)" by Queen
ELITE EIGHT
GAME ONE: Elton vs. Queen
We're talking about the massive opening salvo from Sir Elton's best album, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, against a minor Brian May composition whose title seems utterly detached from its actual rather sluggish sound (which may be why it's buried on side two of Sheer Heart Attack.) It's not even close.
GAME TWO: Mothers vs. Dire Straits
The opening track of the Mothers' startling debut, Freak Out!, is a high seed for a reason (other than the whole shuffle thing): it's a slap in the face of social convention as well as a great tune. "Expresso Love" not only misspells the name of the beverage, but it falls short of the three songs on side one of Making Movies to boot.
GAME THREE: Poco vs. Beatles
There's really no way this pleasant but minor Poco hit should have been seeded this high, and the Beatles aren't the kind of guys to play down to the opponent's level--well, maybe Paul (see "The Girl Is Mine"). "SFF" in a walk.
GAME FOUR: CVB vs. Pogues
A tough battle between two tracks from the artists' early days. "Skinhead Stomp," from Telephone Free Landslide Victory, is an energetic enough instrumental, but the joyous chorus of the Pogues' take on the traditional pub singalong (from Red Roses for Me) takes them to victory.
FINAL FOUR:
GAME ONE: Elton vs. Pogues
Elton catches a break against a Pogues squad that really hasn't gelled at this point in their career, while he's at the peak of his powers as a glam-rocker with pop appeal and keyboard chops to die for. Elton puts it out of reach early on.
GAME TWO: Mothers vs. Beatles
A shame they had to meet in the semifinals, isn't it? The snarky individualism of Zappa against the hippiest trip in Lennon's catalogue. I hate to have to pick one, but the marvelous complexity of George Martin's production gives the Fab Four the edge here.
CHAMPIONSHIP
Elton vs. Beatles
The size of Elton's canvas works to his advantage here; he has eleven minutes to throw in sound effects, synthesizers, a tasteful piano meditation, a guitar-driven power-ballad instrumental, and a galloping introduction before he even gets to the first verse--and then we get a terrific riff and a chorus that spikes you right through the head. If you want a lesson in rock-and-roll transitions, this is where to learn it. Really, this is one of Elton's best opportunities to win against one of the best squads in the game. Unfortunately, that squad is bringing their A-game as well--no "Honey Pie" or "You Like Me Too Much" here. No, it's a fully-fit Lennon behind the mic, backed by some of Ringo's most varied and expressive drumming--sometimes sensitive, sometimes muscular. With backward masking, pulsing mellotron, droning strings, and the legendary "I buried Paul" finale, there's really as much to listen to in these four minutes as there is in Elton's far longer song. The Mersey Sound takes the title!
That'll teach people to give the Beatles a six seed.
*Pick the size of your tournament. It should be an exponent of two--2, 4, 8, 16, 32, or 64. But the bigger your tournament is, the more you'll have to write about the songs in it.
*Open "shuffle" on your media player.
*List the titles of the first 2 (or 4, 8, 16, 32, or 64) songs that play (in the order that they play--be honest.)
*Match the songs up by their "seeds" (a/k/a their numbers; in an eight-seed tourney, that's #1 against #8, #2 vs. #7, #3 vs. #6, etc.)
*Compare the two songs in the matchup and pick the one you like better, explaining your reasoning.
*On to the next round and repeat until you have a champion song.
Here's my eight-song tournament
1. "Funeral for a Friend (Love Lies Bleeding)" by Elton John 11:07
2. "Hungry Freaks, Daddy" by the Mothers of Invention
3. "Spellbound" by Poco
4. "Skinhead Stomp" by Camper Van Beethoven
5. "Streams of Whiskey" by the Pogues
6. "Strawberry Fields Forever" by the Beatles
7. "Expresso Love" by Dire Straits
8. "She Makes Me (Stormtrooper in Stilettoes)" by Queen
ELITE EIGHT
GAME ONE: Elton vs. Queen
We're talking about the massive opening salvo from Sir Elton's best album, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, against a minor Brian May composition whose title seems utterly detached from its actual rather sluggish sound (which may be why it's buried on side two of Sheer Heart Attack.) It's not even close.
GAME TWO: Mothers vs. Dire Straits
The opening track of the Mothers' startling debut, Freak Out!, is a high seed for a reason (other than the whole shuffle thing): it's a slap in the face of social convention as well as a great tune. "Expresso Love" not only misspells the name of the beverage, but it falls short of the three songs on side one of Making Movies to boot.
GAME THREE: Poco vs. Beatles
There's really no way this pleasant but minor Poco hit should have been seeded this high, and the Beatles aren't the kind of guys to play down to the opponent's level--well, maybe Paul (see "The Girl Is Mine"). "SFF" in a walk.
GAME FOUR: CVB vs. Pogues
A tough battle between two tracks from the artists' early days. "Skinhead Stomp," from Telephone Free Landslide Victory, is an energetic enough instrumental, but the joyous chorus of the Pogues' take on the traditional pub singalong (from Red Roses for Me) takes them to victory.
FINAL FOUR:
GAME ONE: Elton vs. Pogues
Elton catches a break against a Pogues squad that really hasn't gelled at this point in their career, while he's at the peak of his powers as a glam-rocker with pop appeal and keyboard chops to die for. Elton puts it out of reach early on.
GAME TWO: Mothers vs. Beatles
A shame they had to meet in the semifinals, isn't it? The snarky individualism of Zappa against the hippiest trip in Lennon's catalogue. I hate to have to pick one, but the marvelous complexity of George Martin's production gives the Fab Four the edge here.
CHAMPIONSHIP
Elton vs. Beatles
The size of Elton's canvas works to his advantage here; he has eleven minutes to throw in sound effects, synthesizers, a tasteful piano meditation, a guitar-driven power-ballad instrumental, and a galloping introduction before he even gets to the first verse--and then we get a terrific riff and a chorus that spikes you right through the head. If you want a lesson in rock-and-roll transitions, this is where to learn it. Really, this is one of Elton's best opportunities to win against one of the best squads in the game. Unfortunately, that squad is bringing their A-game as well--no "Honey Pie" or "You Like Me Too Much" here. No, it's a fully-fit Lennon behind the mic, backed by some of Ringo's most varied and expressive drumming--sometimes sensitive, sometimes muscular. With backward masking, pulsing mellotron, droning strings, and the legendary "I buried Paul" finale, there's really as much to listen to in these four minutes as there is in Elton's far longer song. The Mersey Sound takes the title!
That'll teach people to give the Beatles a six seed.