Mar 25, 2009 03:35
I told Lisa how I feel about her, she's not into me. Fucking bummed, big time. The first legitimate crush I've had since I broke shit off with Michelle, which was already over a year ago. Holy shit, it was over a year ago. How fucking pathetic am I? Oh, not the first legit crush I've had since Michelle. Nevermind, it was Keirstin, who I never told. Oh well, if/when you read this, Keirstin: sur...prise? Anyway, fucking bummed, as usual. Had good news about a possible job but uh... this crush angst is more bad than the job thing was good. Hating life once again... shitty. Seems like I turn my back on a flower to face a loaded gun. Ok, bit dramatic, whatever, just fucking depressed again. Need a girlfriend. Ok, don't need, but it would sure as fuck help things a lot.
Out of money, no cigarettes, no alcohol. Depressed, listening to Neutral Milk Hotel, working out to - I donno - dull the pain? Pain, that's just pathetic, I'm calling this bitchfit over an immature and naive little girl pain. Anyway, back to workout and Bukowski...