Jealousy and Envy. If there are two emotions I hate most of all, these would top the list. If I'd have to compare the two, Envy takes the cake as being my most despised emotion of all time. There is something about the feeling of being 2nd best that really pisses me off - lol
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jealousy/envy - the monster I battle almost every day. It depends on what I'm feeling jealous/envious about as to how I try and deal with it. Most of the time I just sit and cry because I feel threatened and terribly inadequate. I think there was a time when I did not feel these feelings as intensely as I do now but it is difficult to remember what that was like. I woke up at 5:30am feeling like I was a fraud, in a panic because I start a class next week I don't think I'm ready for. I get terribly envious of my fellow class mates in studio art classes. In that case I do nothing as I don't have relationships with the other students. I just choke down the feeling and try to move on. I have become so insecure lately that it deeply effects my personal life. Polyamorous relationships are extremely difficult when you are feeling jealousy/envy. Sit and cry. I try my best to communicate how I'm feeling to the people around me in a calm way. When I let those around me know how I'm feeling, if the emotions get the best of me and I act out, at least they are aware of my emotional state ahead of time. I try to calm my emotions with logic. It does not work for me all the time but I'm still trying. I'm sure I would have better strategies for dealing with the green eyed monster if I had a greater sense of self worth but then if I had a greater sense of self worth, jealousy would not be so much of a problem. So for now I'll just go with - calmly inform the people around you of your emotional state (hard to imagine you doing this) and try to calm the emotion with logic. Oh, and yes these nasty emotions do have a purpose. If it were not for jealousy/envy what would motivate us to improve ourselves? Positive example: you meet a man who seems to have made peace with himself and the world around him. He has great charisma and people like him. You want to have these attributes and feel envy toward this man. You start to explore how to attain these attributes for yourself. Wow long comment. Ooooppps. :)
A long comment but a good one! This is the kinda thing I'm looking for. It's useful to express these feelings.
The horrible curse about jealousy and envy is that you feel so alone in it. Well, alone in a dark and horrible prison with the image of the person that is causing you torment burning in your mind. Not fun.
You nailed it on the head too. Polyamarous relationships are very hard when you're feeling these feelings.
You're obviously one step ahead of most people in that you are actively trying to behave differently when you feel the feelings you do. A lot of people just become raging maniacs.
I like your point about self improvement. The positive spin on it is helpful.
I woke up at 5:30am feeling like I was a fraud, in a panic because I start a class next week I don't think I'm ready for. I get terribly envious of my fellow class mates in studio art classes. In that case I do nothing as I don't have relationships with the other students. I just choke down the feeling and try to move on.
I have become so insecure lately that it deeply effects my personal life. Polyamorous relationships are extremely difficult when you are feeling jealousy/envy. Sit and cry. I try my best to communicate how I'm feeling to the people around me in a calm way. When I let those around me know how I'm feeling, if the emotions get the best of me and I act out, at least they are aware of my emotional state ahead of time. I try to calm my emotions with logic. It does not work for me all the time but I'm still trying. I'm sure I would have better strategies for dealing with the green eyed monster if I had a greater sense of self worth but then if I had a greater sense of self worth, jealousy would not be so much of a problem. So for now I'll just go with - calmly inform the people around you of your emotional state (hard to imagine you doing this) and try to calm the emotion with logic.
Oh, and yes these nasty emotions do have a purpose. If it were not for jealousy/envy what would motivate us to improve ourselves? Positive example: you meet a man who seems to have made peace with himself and the world around him. He has great charisma and people like him. You want to have these attributes and feel envy toward this man. You start to explore how to attain these attributes for yourself.
Wow long comment. Ooooppps. :)
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The horrible curse about jealousy and envy is that you feel so alone in it. Well, alone in a dark and horrible prison with the image of the person that is causing you torment burning in your mind. Not fun.
You nailed it on the head too. Polyamarous relationships are very hard when you're feeling these feelings.
You're obviously one step ahead of most people in that you are actively trying to behave differently when you feel the feelings you do. A lot of people just become raging maniacs.
I like your point about self improvement. The positive spin on it is helpful.
Reply
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