Can't seem to loosen my grip on the past
I had an exchange of emails with GF2, the first communication since my birthday last fall. It didn't take long for her to get to how fail we were, and how tangential our expectations were of each other, despite our long association. And then she sent a follow-up email that proved it. And, a** I am, I had to point it out.
Needless to say, that 'conversation' fell off quickly.
Oddly, it was followed by an hour-long call today from her best friend, who was in a quite a chatty mood. I haven't heard from him for about the same amount of time, and hadn't had much of a conversation with him except about a case I was handling since before the split.
It's odd, though, how that space in my life for these people has just, quietly - while I wasn't looking - closed. It's not that there isn't any ache of emptiness there. There is: sometimes more than a tinge, sometimes just a memory of pain. But they just don't fit in that space any more. And it's too filled with the rubble of what was to make a new space for them.
Needless to say, that 'conversation' fell off quickly.
Oddly, it was followed by an hour-long call today from her best friend, who was in a quite a chatty mood. I haven't heard from him for about the same amount of time, and hadn't had much of a conversation with him except about a case I was handling since before the split.
It's odd, though, how that space in my life for these people has just, quietly - while I wasn't looking - closed. It's not that there isn't any ache of emptiness there. There is: sometimes more than a tinge, sometimes just a memory of pain. But they just don't fit in that space any more. And it's too filled with the rubble of what was to make a new space for them.