must. get. out.
almost the entire afternoon and while having dinner, my dad was getting on my nerves. every annoying thing he said was clawing at me, prompting not-so-pretty scenarios in my head involving me throwing breakable things around while talking back at him.
must. control. self.
it wasn't anything major, it was just the usual. but it was the usual that i was really, sincerely getting tired of. but i know better than actually getting into an arguement with him. after all, i'm still living under his roof and therefore, his jurisdiction. which means putting up with this shit. it's not so bad, it's just a real pisser sometimes, especially on humid summer evenings.
after washing the dishes, i decided to step out of the gate and onto the streets. i really couldn't stay in this house for more than a few days without being driven to near-insanity. i guess i needed "fresh air", which of course, involves smoking outdoors. since there is no park nearby, i decided to walk around the village and ended up parking my ass outside a complete stranger's house 4 blocks from my gate. i couldn't even smoke in peace. i counted 2 taxis, 3 tricycles, 1 car, 3 groups of boys and 2 lone walkers passing by while i smoked 2 sticks. ugh. why is it so hard to be alone for a few minutes in Makati?!
stupid question.
i badly needed to talk to someone, but there simply wasn't anyone around and i wasn't in the mood to speak with strangers. all my friends are either at work, or getting ready for work or out of town or country. or they're people i have more or less lost touch with. the advent of Unlimitxt has rendered landlines useful for business purposes only and i didn't have enough load to air out my grievances to hopefully-willing-to-listen parties. sometimes i wish things weren't "complicated" between myself and Z since he's the one who lives closest to me (6 blocks of a parallel universe in between, to be exact), then maybe i can just walk to his house in times like these and rant while he contradicts everything i say. i am willing to tolerate his patronizing sarcasm, i just want a sounding board.
of course, my boyfriend is 12 timezones away and for the nth time ever, i wished he could be much easier to contact or run to. maybe shooting him an email will make me feel better, but i'd rather not bother him while he's at work.
so i tried to make myself feel better by downing my third Coke 'Sakto' (tangina, what's so Sakto about 6 pesos?!) for the day. my hyperacidic tummy is not going to comfort me anytime soon, either.
what DID make me feel better though, is making reservations for a trip to Bora at the end of the month. as much as i hate going there during peak season (why go out of town just to run into people you see while in town?) and barely being able to afford it, i just couldn't let the opportunity pass especially since my uncle granted me and my cousins two spare rooms at his resort. and besides, the chance to get out of the city is just so irresistible. i'm dragging my weary soul, my brother is dragging his weary heart and our cousins are dragging their lack of social lives to our province. i can't wait to sip on a mango margarita while watching the sunset. just thinking of it right now is getting me excited, not to mention worried about losing even just a bit of this belly in time to shimmy into a bikini.
!!!
it's actually raining right now. WOW. i'm half-tempted to go out and get myself wet in the rain, but the lightning is telling me not to. maybe i should get back to fixing my closet.
i can't wait to get out of here.
must. control. self.
it wasn't anything major, it was just the usual. but it was the usual that i was really, sincerely getting tired of. but i know better than actually getting into an arguement with him. after all, i'm still living under his roof and therefore, his jurisdiction. which means putting up with this shit. it's not so bad, it's just a real pisser sometimes, especially on humid summer evenings.
after washing the dishes, i decided to step out of the gate and onto the streets. i really couldn't stay in this house for more than a few days without being driven to near-insanity. i guess i needed "fresh air", which of course, involves smoking outdoors. since there is no park nearby, i decided to walk around the village and ended up parking my ass outside a complete stranger's house 4 blocks from my gate. i couldn't even smoke in peace. i counted 2 taxis, 3 tricycles, 1 car, 3 groups of boys and 2 lone walkers passing by while i smoked 2 sticks. ugh. why is it so hard to be alone for a few minutes in Makati?!
stupid question.
i badly needed to talk to someone, but there simply wasn't anyone around and i wasn't in the mood to speak with strangers. all my friends are either at work, or getting ready for work or out of town or country. or they're people i have more or less lost touch with. the advent of Unlimitxt has rendered landlines useful for business purposes only and i didn't have enough load to air out my grievances to hopefully-willing-to-listen parties. sometimes i wish things weren't "complicated" between myself and Z since he's the one who lives closest to me (6 blocks of a parallel universe in between, to be exact), then maybe i can just walk to his house in times like these and rant while he contradicts everything i say. i am willing to tolerate his patronizing sarcasm, i just want a sounding board.
of course, my boyfriend is 12 timezones away and for the nth time ever, i wished he could be much easier to contact or run to. maybe shooting him an email will make me feel better, but i'd rather not bother him while he's at work.
so i tried to make myself feel better by downing my third Coke 'Sakto' (tangina, what's so Sakto about 6 pesos?!) for the day. my hyperacidic tummy is not going to comfort me anytime soon, either.
what DID make me feel better though, is making reservations for a trip to Bora at the end of the month. as much as i hate going there during peak season (why go out of town just to run into people you see while in town?) and barely being able to afford it, i just couldn't let the opportunity pass especially since my uncle granted me and my cousins two spare rooms at his resort. and besides, the chance to get out of the city is just so irresistible. i'm dragging my weary soul, my brother is dragging his weary heart and our cousins are dragging their lack of social lives to our province. i can't wait to sip on a mango margarita while watching the sunset. just thinking of it right now is getting me excited, not to mention worried about losing even just a bit of this belly in time to shimmy into a bikini.
!!!
it's actually raining right now. WOW. i'm half-tempted to go out and get myself wet in the rain, but the lightning is telling me not to. maybe i should get back to fixing my closet.
i can't wait to get out of here.