eh???
i hate PMS-ing. the days preceding my period are always the worst. oh sure, it grants you the biological right to be bitchy and all, but that's just what it is... A BITCH.
the bad thing about being "irregular" like me is that PMS can take anywhere from a few days to two weeks before transforming into the next awful stage: dysmennorhea (crap. did i spell that right?). i still don't know which among the two is the lesser evil. mood swings and bouts of depression (ranging from slight to almost-clinical) fit for a schizophrenic or excruciating internal-physical pain coupled with cold sweat and senseless vomitting (i don't know about you, but that's my regular first day-fare).
like you have a choice. the two always comes together.
* * *
i am horribly PMS-ing right now. my mood isn't merely swinging, it's like a rabid pendulum. one second, i'm smiling from ear to ear while i recall recent blissful moments but in the next second i become teary-eyed because of some painful realizations that come with those blissful moments.
and i feel like ranting at every other person who comes by. life seems more unfair than usual when you're undergoing hormonal imbalance. every sensation is enhanced when i really just want to be numb. contemplating becomes agonizing. every thought reverts to... and makes me want to curl up and cry.
hopeless, really.
* * *
it sucks to be complacent. i tend to just accept the things thrown my way. i choose to remain positive even if the rest of the world decided to leave me to sink in shit. c'est la vie? totally.
but i do have limits. even the patient happy bunny (that would be me) runs out of batteries. i do get drained. i do get pissed off. i do get stressed. i do get hurt. and i do cry.
sometimes, especially now, i feel like people take advantage of my good nature. simply because i'm the girl who'd say, "that's okay, i understand" when you do me wrong. i don't like getting angry at anyone. that's not my thing. and i find that this attracts people...attracts them to see up to how far they can push me, that is. i could be such a sucker, obviously.
sometimes i just want to be selfish. and cruel. if only to be kinder to myself.
* * *
is it too late to greet everyone a happy easter (egg)? well, there you go.
oh and by the way, "the lost boy" is not a baby picture of me, ha. go figure. and nooo, i'm not a dude. just in case you're wondering.
the bad thing about being "irregular" like me is that PMS can take anywhere from a few days to two weeks before transforming into the next awful stage: dysmennorhea (crap. did i spell that right?). i still don't know which among the two is the lesser evil. mood swings and bouts of depression (ranging from slight to almost-clinical) fit for a schizophrenic or excruciating internal-physical pain coupled with cold sweat and senseless vomitting (i don't know about you, but that's my regular first day-fare).
like you have a choice. the two always comes together.
* * *
i am horribly PMS-ing right now. my mood isn't merely swinging, it's like a rabid pendulum. one second, i'm smiling from ear to ear while i recall recent blissful moments but in the next second i become teary-eyed because of some painful realizations that come with those blissful moments.
and i feel like ranting at every other person who comes by. life seems more unfair than usual when you're undergoing hormonal imbalance. every sensation is enhanced when i really just want to be numb. contemplating becomes agonizing. every thought reverts to... and makes me want to curl up and cry.
hopeless, really.
* * *
it sucks to be complacent. i tend to just accept the things thrown my way. i choose to remain positive even if the rest of the world decided to leave me to sink in shit. c'est la vie? totally.
but i do have limits. even the patient happy bunny (that would be me) runs out of batteries. i do get drained. i do get pissed off. i do get stressed. i do get hurt. and i do cry.
sometimes, especially now, i feel like people take advantage of my good nature. simply because i'm the girl who'd say, "that's okay, i understand" when you do me wrong. i don't like getting angry at anyone. that's not my thing. and i find that this attracts people...attracts them to see up to how far they can push me, that is. i could be such a sucker, obviously.
sometimes i just want to be selfish. and cruel. if only to be kinder to myself.
* * *
is it too late to greet everyone a happy easter (egg)? well, there you go.
oh and by the way, "the lost boy" is not a baby picture of me, ha. go figure. and nooo, i'm not a dude. just in case you're wondering.