Twickenham man in bizarre attack on blameless New Wave band.

[wardytron]

The other day catbo posted a Livejournal entry in which she linked to the video of Making Plans for Nigel by XTC. If you're not familiar with the lyrics to Making Plans for Nigel, it begins like this: We're only making plans for Nigel / We only want what's best for him / We're only making plans for Nigel / Nigel just needs this helping hand. What lovely

Comments

[steer]

I prefer to think that the "making plans for Nigel" refers to blueprints for an giant automated battle Nigel and British Steel merely refers to the construction material rather than the company. Admittedly the rest of the lyrics don't support my interpretation but, you know, it's still a more vivid than merely that his parents had some particular defined idea about his future career.

[wardytron]

But where then is this giant automated battle Nigel? Alas, if only that had been what the song was about, not only would this have provided a much needed boost in demand for British steel, but we would have led the world in the manufacture and design of giant automated battle Nigels.

[steer]

Possibly construction was cancelled by the recently elected Tory government? I mean it was only at the planning stage. If you think about it, it's the sort of project they might consider cancelling as unnecessary?

[wardytron]

Yes, if you think about it that seems logical enough. The incoming Secretary of State for Industry was Keith Joseph, who was well known for his hostility towards large publicly funded works such as giant automated battle Nigels, which I imagine he would have considered an unacceptable drain on public resources. My guess is he would have thought that if there was genuine demand for giant automated battle Nigels then that demand would be met by the private sector, and if there wasn't then there was no justification in continuing with the project at public expense.

[steer]

Having searched online I can't find any blueprints for a giant steel battle Nigel but I have located an artist's impression.

[smogo]

Wow, that horse is literally escaping from the edge of the style sheet. Impressive!

[my_name_is_anna]

I wonder what became of molesworth 1?
Maybe a pen-pusher in the same steel industry?

Actually, I remember I once had a second hand copy of a follow on to the original molesworth books, and I think he was some sort of civil servant type person maybe.

[steer]

Wait, was he working for British Steel? Perhaps it is the same Nigel from the song?

[my_name_is_anna]

If the management was all staffed by old boys from st custards, no wonder the industry was run into the ground.

(Oops wrong word!)

[steer]

It is chairman of the board Fotherington Thomas who skip like a gurl and sa "hello trees, hello flowers, hello Bessemer Converter".

[Actually, I have no idea if they use Bessemer Converters or if I spelled that right, it's something I vaguely remember about steel from O level history.]

[my_name_is_anna]

Haha!

fotherington tomas hav grown up to be head beak of the steel faktory chiz chiz

[ruudboy]

This is a clear warning of the dangers arising from the possibility of a Conservative government being elected in the forthcoming general election. Whilst giant automated battle Nigels might not seem to be a sensible use of public resources, especially at a time when public spending cuts are universally agreed to be inevitable, who can say what exciting and useful technological leaps forward would have been made possible if the plans to build a giant automated battle Nigel had been carried through. This is the wider vision that the private sector never seems to appreciate.

[wardytron]

That's a very good point you've made there, ruudboy. Well it's some sort of point anyway. It's a point, is what I'm saying. Well anyway, yes, aren't there supposedly some sort advances in pencil technology that have come about as a result of the Apollo missions to the Moon, or something? I don't know, but they might have. It does seem a bit of a roundabout way to advance pencil technology mind you.

[steer]

You are doubtless thinking of the Fisher Space Pen

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Pen

"The ballpoint is made from tungsten carbide and is precisely fitted in order to avoid leaks. A sliding float separates the ink from the pressurized gas. The thixotropic ink in the hermetically sealed and pressurized reservoir is claimed to write for three times longer than a standard ballpoint pen. The pen can write at altitudes up to 12,500 feet (3810 m). The ink is forced out by compressed air at a pressure of nearly 35 pounds per square inch (240 kPa). Operating temperatures range from -30 to 250 degrees Fahrenheit (-35 to 120 degrees Celsius). The pen has an estimated shelf life of 100 years."

Unfortunately, not impervious to being misplaced like mine was.