Sparkly Socks!
Lurking as I do in several places, I recently noticed that a Wiki Sue who had been profiled a few months back had a sudden explosion of mad editing fervor after being inactive for some time. And so I decided to check it out.
What I wound to my dull surprise was that the character profile itself hadn't been updated. Rather, the list of characters that follow her around has grown and expanded. And, to be blunt, between them they're pretty awful stuff. There's not enough meat on them to warrant a full entry, I feel that what's here deserves a bit of sporking.
And yes, I am aware of the Irony of a Sockpuppet account commenting on Sockpuppet characters.
First up we have Zannah, who is probably the only one of these socks to have a life of its own. The entry itself is pretty special, actually and probably would warrant its own individual sporking. But instead I'll throw it into the pot as this is a themed group entry.
Zannah's description is pretty loathsome, being pretty much out of the Sue handbook. She's both petite and voluptuous, which doesn't really work. You can be one or the other, but not both, lady. You may as well be "slender and buxom" for all the sense it makes. Her eyes ("emerald") and hair ("Auburn laced with hints of gold") are both classical Mary Sue descriptors. However, its the "skin the color of milk" that is the most strikingly Sue trait, as well as the most silly.
Why? According to her description, Zannah burns easily if she's out in the sun. This must be a very, very useful trait in an adventurer who, by their nature, would spend hours traveling. So unless she decides to be purely nocturnal, she's pretty much crippled herself at her chosen occupation. GG
Naturally, she wears black and red and shows off her ample curves. Naturally. No original thought seems to have entered into this one at all.
Her personality is rather nonsensical to say the least. She is outgoing and witty, yet indrawn and brooding, yet firm and terrifying. Inconstant much, miss?
The history is actually passable up until a point. Her family died and became scourge, she survived and burninated them out of pity and then decided that she needed to destroy the Scourge. Its a touch on the twee side (Killing her own family) but far from excessive given the world. Of course, that she then manages to get a bunch of people who should hate each other to follow her is another matter. You put a Night Elf, a Jungle Troll and a Half-Elf into one place and, sooner or later, you're going to end up with two dead bodies. I guess its her steely glare that keeps them in line or something. Of course, how a Demon Hunter is following the orders of a Warlock mystifies me.
Interestingly enough, after spending some time as Priestess Sparklypoo's main squeeze, she "set off into the Burning Steppes and has not returned." However, Zannah's own bio lists her residence as "Nomadic, Outlands". Methinks that Aubrie got dumped, hard. Sucks to be you, Princess.
A Privacy Invasion on Zannah showed that she was a part of Aubrianna's 7-man guild, and the only one of them over the level of 50. It puts her in pre-raid quest gear, and, more importantly, hasn't been updated since August. Yeah, methinks someone got dumped.
Swinging back to Princess Sparklypoo's main entry, we get the other, less lively socks. And boy, what a bunch they are.
Claiyre is a High Elf "Wizardess" who left her home to seek help against the Horde... yet feels the same way as Aubrie does about the Horde. So she wants to stop them, but she also wants to help them. Yes, nonsense, I know. Claiyre (Boy, does that name say "I wanted to get a specific name but some meanie pants took it first) is illustrated by one of the worst screenshots I have ever seen, focusing mainly on the side of her head.
And what's wrong with "Mage"? Its a gender-neutral term and the title of the actual class? Why not use that instead? Or is that not sparkly enough.
According to the Privacy Invasion, Claiyre is an unguided, level 12 Belf Mage. So its possible that the bad screenshot is there so we wont see her glowy green eyes and think she's a High Elf instead Or you could Learn2Model Viewer, nub.
Annarinia is a Blood Elf Paladin and, is, of course, a sparkly defender of the light and all that is pure and wonderful and nice and crap. She is, of course, in no way, shape or form a jackbooted thug of the regime, of course. Because that would be mean and nasty and evil and, oh I don't know, in character for that particular race/class combo. Instead, she learned all that she could about decency and kindness and goodness and all that from Father of Sue. (God damn it! Even your back-story NPCs are Sparkly! Does this girl ever let up?) As a result, she has pledged to Do the Right Thing and protect Sparklypoo with her life. Yes, I am throwing up now, how can you tell?
She is, of course, beautiful with long flowing hair and alabaster skin. Hmm. Sue much.
The Privacy Invasion failed to find the character, which means that if she does exist in-game, she's less then level 10. Of course, I also note that the name is suspiciously close to Priestess Perfection's. Want to be any more blatantly a Sock?
Finally we have Cyl a young Shamaness (Again!). The only really interesting thing to say about Cyl is that she is not blatantly kissing the Sue's butt. Instead, she's blatantly kissing Zannah's instead. yeah. Because a Draenei is going to put aside thousands of years of hared and several attempts at genocide and happily hang around a Warlock going 'This isn't so bad after all'.
Like the aforementioned, Cyl does not seem to exist.
So all in all, we have a collection of characters who's sole reason to exist is to make the main character(s) look better. Yeah, they're blatant sockpuppets all right. About the only way they could be worse is if one of them was Aubrie or Zannah's student and spend all their time going "wow, you taught me to be awesome!", but that's pushing it.
It must make for some fascinating RP. "I'll log onto my alt and stroke your ego, then you can log onto your alt and stoke mine." Although with Aubrie and Zannah, I don't think the ego is the only thing being stroked.
What I wound to my dull surprise was that the character profile itself hadn't been updated. Rather, the list of characters that follow her around has grown and expanded. And, to be blunt, between them they're pretty awful stuff. There's not enough meat on them to warrant a full entry, I feel that what's here deserves a bit of sporking.
And yes, I am aware of the Irony of a Sockpuppet account commenting on Sockpuppet characters.
First up we have Zannah, who is probably the only one of these socks to have a life of its own. The entry itself is pretty special, actually and probably would warrant its own individual sporking. But instead I'll throw it into the pot as this is a themed group entry.
Zannah's description is pretty loathsome, being pretty much out of the Sue handbook. She's both petite and voluptuous, which doesn't really work. You can be one or the other, but not both, lady. You may as well be "slender and buxom" for all the sense it makes. Her eyes ("emerald") and hair ("Auburn laced with hints of gold") are both classical Mary Sue descriptors. However, its the "skin the color of milk" that is the most strikingly Sue trait, as well as the most silly.
Why? According to her description, Zannah burns easily if she's out in the sun. This must be a very, very useful trait in an adventurer who, by their nature, would spend hours traveling. So unless she decides to be purely nocturnal, she's pretty much crippled herself at her chosen occupation. GG
Naturally, she wears black and red and shows off her ample curves. Naturally. No original thought seems to have entered into this one at all.
Her personality is rather nonsensical to say the least. She is outgoing and witty, yet indrawn and brooding, yet firm and terrifying. Inconstant much, miss?
The history is actually passable up until a point. Her family died and became scourge, she survived and burninated them out of pity and then decided that she needed to destroy the Scourge. Its a touch on the twee side (Killing her own family) but far from excessive given the world. Of course, that she then manages to get a bunch of people who should hate each other to follow her is another matter. You put a Night Elf, a Jungle Troll and a Half-Elf into one place and, sooner or later, you're going to end up with two dead bodies. I guess its her steely glare that keeps them in line or something. Of course, how a Demon Hunter is following the orders of a Warlock mystifies me.
Interestingly enough, after spending some time as Priestess Sparklypoo's main squeeze, she "set off into the Burning Steppes and has not returned." However, Zannah's own bio lists her residence as "Nomadic, Outlands". Methinks that Aubrie got dumped, hard. Sucks to be you, Princess.
A Privacy Invasion on Zannah showed that she was a part of Aubrianna's 7-man guild, and the only one of them over the level of 50. It puts her in pre-raid quest gear, and, more importantly, hasn't been updated since August. Yeah, methinks someone got dumped.
Swinging back to Princess Sparklypoo's main entry, we get the other, less lively socks. And boy, what a bunch they are.
Claiyre is a High Elf "Wizardess" who left her home to seek help against the Horde... yet feels the same way as Aubrie does about the Horde. So she wants to stop them, but she also wants to help them. Yes, nonsense, I know. Claiyre (Boy, does that name say "I wanted to get a specific name but some meanie pants took it first) is illustrated by one of the worst screenshots I have ever seen, focusing mainly on the side of her head.
And what's wrong with "Mage"? Its a gender-neutral term and the title of the actual class? Why not use that instead? Or is that not sparkly enough.
According to the Privacy Invasion, Claiyre is an unguided, level 12 Belf Mage. So its possible that the bad screenshot is there so we wont see her glowy green eyes and think she's a High Elf instead Or you could Learn2Model Viewer, nub.
Annarinia is a Blood Elf Paladin and, is, of course, a sparkly defender of the light and all that is pure and wonderful and nice and crap. She is, of course, in no way, shape or form a jackbooted thug of the regime, of course. Because that would be mean and nasty and evil and, oh I don't know, in character for that particular race/class combo. Instead, she learned all that she could about decency and kindness and goodness and all that from Father of Sue. (God damn it! Even your back-story NPCs are Sparkly! Does this girl ever let up?) As a result, she has pledged to Do the Right Thing and protect Sparklypoo with her life. Yes, I am throwing up now, how can you tell?
She is, of course, beautiful with long flowing hair and alabaster skin. Hmm. Sue much.
The Privacy Invasion failed to find the character, which means that if she does exist in-game, she's less then level 10. Of course, I also note that the name is suspiciously close to Priestess Perfection's. Want to be any more blatantly a Sock?
Finally we have Cyl a young Shamaness (Again!). The only really interesting thing to say about Cyl is that she is not blatantly kissing the Sue's butt. Instead, she's blatantly kissing Zannah's instead. yeah. Because a Draenei is going to put aside thousands of years of hared and several attempts at genocide and happily hang around a Warlock going 'This isn't so bad after all'.
Like the aforementioned, Cyl does not seem to exist.
So all in all, we have a collection of characters who's sole reason to exist is to make the main character(s) look better. Yeah, they're blatant sockpuppets all right. About the only way they could be worse is if one of them was Aubrie or Zannah's student and spend all their time going "wow, you taught me to be awesome!", but that's pushing it.
It must make for some fascinating RP. "I'll log onto my alt and stroke your ego, then you can log onto your alt and stoke mine." Although with Aubrie and Zannah, I don't think the ego is the only thing being stroked.