cockslapping unicorns: a necessary evil
So fightingthecage totally called me on my lack of Srs Bzns in the ‘blog about something different’ meme. And so this is me. Talking about something serious and important and whatnot.
Umm.
I guess one of the things that really pisses me off- so much so that when I have found my rightful place in the writing room of the BBC offices (shut up you know it will happen), I will be doing everything I can to change it- is the representation of gay people on the tv. Because, you know, it is fucking awful. I will admit that I don’t really watch massive amounts of telly these days, so it could well be that there is some HERE AND QUEER revelation going on that I just haven’t noticed yet, but I somehow doubt that.
Here’s the British tv programmes I’ve actually made an effort to watch over recent years, and the LGBT people that have appeared in them, off the top of my head (I COULD BE WRONG. I would like to be wrong):
Life on Mars: 1. A bad guy.
Green Wing: 0
Doctor Who: Captain Jack
Gavin and Stacey: 0
Spaced: 2ish~ (who can really tell with Brian and Vulva? (though Vulva isn’t exactly a positive portrayal of an ~*alternative lifestyle*~))
Also, Coronation Street: 4, perhaps (Todd randomly turns gay one day, cheats on his pregnant fiancée with an evil nurse, leaves the street and comes back in knitwear. Sean works in an underwear factory, is very bitchy and effeminate, and hangs out with women all day. Marcus, Sean’s boyfriend, again works in a ‘feminine’ profession, as a sonographer, but he’s at least pretty sane.)
I don’t think I need to list the heterosexual people in the above programmes, seeing as the number would pretty much be everyone else who ever appears. I think the number is roughly 1 in 10 people are supposed to be gay, right? (Who knows about the bisexuals. It’s not like they really exist, after all.) So why the hell aren’t 1 in 10 people on tv gay? And why am I unable to think of one single fictional character on telly that isn’t perpetuating the stereotypes?
Not saying that the stereotypes don’t exist in real people, because lord knows I’ve known some of the flamingest flamers to ever have flamed. And there isn’t anything wrong with that, but when a stereotype- any stereotype, not just the big gay ones- is used on the television, it is not a positive portrayal. It is never going to be a positive portrayal until there are gay people on the box who aren’t part of that stereotype. Then perhaps a person not in the know of gay culture can watch a programme and be shown that whilst, yes, there are flamey, flamey flamers out there, there are also people who aren’t. And then, you know, they will learn a little something about real life, and perhaps the world will be a little richer and less full of raging homophobes.
So when I am sat there in my BBC office, writing the stuff y’all are gonna be watching ten years from now, there will be gay guys with no dress sense and lesbians who are girly and bisexuals and asexuals who will ACTUALLY EXIST. And there will be no Romantic Plot Device Characters for anyone ever, be they het or gay or a lobster.
Do not even get me started on Will & Grace.
And now, to neutralise that bit of seriousness, a picture of Sam Winchester cockslapping an evil unicorn with his Massive Penis.
Yes, you read that right:
'After Gustav the Evil Unicorn tried to gore Dean, Sam knew it was time to whip out his secret weapon.'
...
I was just doodling, okay?
Umm.
I guess one of the things that really pisses me off- so much so that when I have found my rightful place in the writing room of the BBC offices (shut up you know it will happen), I will be doing everything I can to change it- is the representation of gay people on the tv. Because, you know, it is fucking awful. I will admit that I don’t really watch massive amounts of telly these days, so it could well be that there is some HERE AND QUEER revelation going on that I just haven’t noticed yet, but I somehow doubt that.
Here’s the British tv programmes I’ve actually made an effort to watch over recent years, and the LGBT people that have appeared in them, off the top of my head (I COULD BE WRONG. I would like to be wrong):
Life on Mars: 1. A bad guy.
Green Wing: 0
Doctor Who: Captain Jack
Gavin and Stacey: 0
Spaced: 2ish~ (who can really tell with Brian and Vulva? (though Vulva isn’t exactly a positive portrayal of an ~*alternative lifestyle*~))
Also, Coronation Street: 4, perhaps (Todd randomly turns gay one day, cheats on his pregnant fiancée with an evil nurse, leaves the street and comes back in knitwear. Sean works in an underwear factory, is very bitchy and effeminate, and hangs out with women all day. Marcus, Sean’s boyfriend, again works in a ‘feminine’ profession, as a sonographer, but he’s at least pretty sane.)
I don’t think I need to list the heterosexual people in the above programmes, seeing as the number would pretty much be everyone else who ever appears. I think the number is roughly 1 in 10 people are supposed to be gay, right? (Who knows about the bisexuals. It’s not like they really exist, after all.) So why the hell aren’t 1 in 10 people on tv gay? And why am I unable to think of one single fictional character on telly that isn’t perpetuating the stereotypes?
Not saying that the stereotypes don’t exist in real people, because lord knows I’ve known some of the flamingest flamers to ever have flamed. And there isn’t anything wrong with that, but when a stereotype- any stereotype, not just the big gay ones- is used on the television, it is not a positive portrayal. It is never going to be a positive portrayal until there are gay people on the box who aren’t part of that stereotype. Then perhaps a person not in the know of gay culture can watch a programme and be shown that whilst, yes, there are flamey, flamey flamers out there, there are also people who aren’t. And then, you know, they will learn a little something about real life, and perhaps the world will be a little richer and less full of raging homophobes.
So when I am sat there in my BBC office, writing the stuff y’all are gonna be watching ten years from now, there will be gay guys with no dress sense and lesbians who are girly and bisexuals and asexuals who will ACTUALLY EXIST. And there will be no Romantic Plot Device Characters for anyone ever, be they het or gay or a lobster.
Do not even get me started on Will & Grace.
And now, to neutralise that bit of seriousness, a picture of Sam Winchester cockslapping an evil unicorn with his Massive Penis.
Yes, you read that right:
'After Gustav the Evil Unicorn tried to gore Dean, Sam knew it was time to whip out his secret weapon.'
...
I was just doodling, okay?