(no subject)
Elleskater [7:57 P.M.]: i know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but have you thought of going to get help? i know emma's had some really bad problems lately and she's going to therapy for a week or two just to get away from her parents and her problems and try to sort things out
ArAdiA6615 [7:57 P.M.]: well im on meds and prob going to a shrink just im a little head shy after my first expierience and after the FCD woman compleatly fucked with me
Elleskater [7:59 P.M.]: well, i guess its sort of understandable for a drug clinician to have problems with you . but what i'm more worried about is the psychological stuff, which is what the therapist would deal with
Elleskater [8:03 P.M.]: i'm not trying to be preachy, i just want you to do whatever you can so this doesn't all suck so much
the thing is i never was screwed up liek the school claimed until all this shit went down
now all my friends talk down to me
there worried
they want to help
i wish i could be thankful but the only feeling i get from "talks" liek this
is condescension
ellies changed so much
everytime im wiht her all i can see her trying to do
is make a point to how superior she is to me
how stable she is
how liberal , informed, and how shes worried about her firneds
that arent at the level wiht her
she thinks im falling apart but im not
the thing is i can always handle myself
so when i do meltdown it suprises people
and they use it against me
i always need to hold myself together
but theres a certain point where it gets to be too much
just problem after problem keeps getting thrown at me
until my entire life has literally fallen apart
cant belive people still expect me to deal with it alone
it becomes sefl pity craving when i vent and pieple just odnt wanna hear it
at this point people are jsut loooking for a reason so critique me so i cant fuck up ne more
im just not allowed i have no idea where luci is adn i need her right now she finally
called and sed she was going to see me then just never showed up i cant handle this
i cant handle nething
recently ive just been so fuckin sorry the sleeping pills i took didnt work