I don't keep a diary. I found this on looseleaf today.
September.
I'm tired of all this. Sleep and coffee don't seem to fix the fact that my gague is on empty. Wouldn't be so bad id I was moving, but the place I'm moving to just dropped off the map and now I have to make more plans. Maybe I'll pass out on the couch + hope everyone is asleep + hope I wake up to your hands on my skin. No matter what you say or don't say, the energy that flows from your pals makes me skin crawl. I've never met anyone who gives off energy like that without trying before - are you trying? Midterms and pumpkins and longboads and pie and sunrise and breath-clouds. I love fall and if it would please find some space for me to sleep for a week without missing anything I'd owe it a virgin soul, I'm sure. Neck muscles are cheating for me and I always find the loopholes and I was told yesterday, sitting in a patch of sunlight ad talking about a revolution, that things always work out for me. Both comforting and disconcerting. Feed my ego s'more because I think it has a hole. Keep filling or I'll go flat. Push-ups and sit-ups because I'm scared I'm becoming nothing. Give me skis and snow and I'll re-build my lungs. Give me a cliff and I'll ruin everything I've worked for. Destruction has its own beauty and I live and breathe to be that perfect.
I'm tired of all this. Sleep and coffee don't seem to fix the fact that my gague is on empty. Wouldn't be so bad id I was moving, but the place I'm moving to just dropped off the map and now I have to make more plans. Maybe I'll pass out on the couch + hope everyone is asleep + hope I wake up to your hands on my skin. No matter what you say or don't say, the energy that flows from your pals makes me skin crawl. I've never met anyone who gives off energy like that without trying before - are you trying? Midterms and pumpkins and longboads and pie and sunrise and breath-clouds. I love fall and if it would please find some space for me to sleep for a week without missing anything I'd owe it a virgin soul, I'm sure. Neck muscles are cheating for me and I always find the loopholes and I was told yesterday, sitting in a patch of sunlight ad talking about a revolution, that things always work out for me. Both comforting and disconcerting. Feed my ego s'more because I think it has a hole. Keep filling or I'll go flat. Push-ups and sit-ups because I'm scared I'm becoming nothing. Give me skis and snow and I'll re-build my lungs. Give me a cliff and I'll ruin everything I've worked for. Destruction has its own beauty and I live and breathe to be that perfect.