The Plan vs. The Experience
This has been on my mind lately.
I would say that perhaps a good 95% of the people I'm going to school with are in school because they should be. Because it was cheaper than going elsewhere. Because it's more entertaining than McDonalds. Because it's the stepping stone to a job that will produce the money, house, marriage, two point three kids and dog. Because mom and dad said so. Because mom and dad are paying. Because they wanted away from mom and dad. Because they love the freedom gained by it.
But they race forth like their out running the wind. Rebel when things don't perfectly fit into the boxes. Grasp after dates. Gasp at monetary amounts. Frenzy themselves on what "should be".
Maybe it comes out of my abhorrence of education for so much of my later high school. Mind you I didn't always even hate school. I was fed books from an early age. I was reading ahead of my classes, both grade level and vocabulary usage, all my school years. I was in gifted and talented programs for math all through middle school even. In High School it all went away somewhere, possibly went to wherever my sister went when she died....except for books, which I still thirsted after more than I needed for my next breath of air.
So I hated school and didn't loath the slight wince my -perfect 21-24 hr semester all her college years, student-teacher, academic- mother had when I would speak of my vehemence for all things books, spirals and teachers combined. I lost myself into the comic world and in that lost myself into a boss who loved education, and college, even more than my mother perhaps. A man who was obsessed with "The Experience" of college. I heard about this strange dream-memory-time obsession for years more than three or four times a week.
Maybe it comes from my dislike. Maybe comes from that moment when I realized I wanted to know and question. Maybe it comes from those long winded talks of experience.
I am not "The Plan". I failed my first two semesters. I took two months short of a year off. I floated through a confused year even back at school. I eventually named a major based on 'candy classes' given to pacify myself through unenjoyable challenge.
I am only slowly chasing "The Experience", like a puppy after a butterfly. I don't find myself obsessed with needing to be done in four years. I don't find myself obsessed with the class roster. I don't find myself too obsessed with my debt. I don't find myself obsessed with where my job shall be once I'm out of here. I want to take courses, chances, teachers for the knowledge they possess and listen, because all stories are worth hearing regardless of their relevance.
....there are certain things TJ impressed upon me during his years, and school may be a large summation of them (after comics). I keep to The Corner in part because of him. The lectures because I should be sapping the marrow of the resources available to me. And I'll go to other continents if I'm gifted with that chance, not because I need the classes but because I want the experience, I want the other countries, I want the other people's opinions, view points and knowledge.
Maybe because I agree with TJ a little too much. People rush through college barely remember to look up, not willing to step back. This is the time though. There's a time and place for everything, and it's called college. It's right here, right now. The chances and experiences we can have right now, right at our finger tips, arranged in a manner of learning, educational and instrumental, will never be like this again in our lives.
Hrm.
No sure writing this actually helped. I know there are other things buried under it, too.
Probably because it just might make too much sense not to cancel out of the possibility to go to Spain in the spring.
.....and other things. Like the girls comment in Spanish for the one reason that would keep her here.
More later.
Love to you all
Krino e Elo
I would say that perhaps a good 95% of the people I'm going to school with are in school because they should be. Because it was cheaper than going elsewhere. Because it's more entertaining than McDonalds. Because it's the stepping stone to a job that will produce the money, house, marriage, two point three kids and dog. Because mom and dad said so. Because mom and dad are paying. Because they wanted away from mom and dad. Because they love the freedom gained by it.
But they race forth like their out running the wind. Rebel when things don't perfectly fit into the boxes. Grasp after dates. Gasp at monetary amounts. Frenzy themselves on what "should be".
Maybe it comes out of my abhorrence of education for so much of my later high school. Mind you I didn't always even hate school. I was fed books from an early age. I was reading ahead of my classes, both grade level and vocabulary usage, all my school years. I was in gifted and talented programs for math all through middle school even. In High School it all went away somewhere, possibly went to wherever my sister went when she died....except for books, which I still thirsted after more than I needed for my next breath of air.
So I hated school and didn't loath the slight wince my -perfect 21-24 hr semester all her college years, student-teacher, academic- mother had when I would speak of my vehemence for all things books, spirals and teachers combined. I lost myself into the comic world and in that lost myself into a boss who loved education, and college, even more than my mother perhaps. A man who was obsessed with "The Experience" of college. I heard about this strange dream-memory-time obsession for years more than three or four times a week.
Maybe it comes from my dislike. Maybe comes from that moment when I realized I wanted to know and question. Maybe it comes from those long winded talks of experience.
I am not "The Plan". I failed my first two semesters. I took two months short of a year off. I floated through a confused year even back at school. I eventually named a major based on 'candy classes' given to pacify myself through unenjoyable challenge.
I am only slowly chasing "The Experience", like a puppy after a butterfly. I don't find myself obsessed with needing to be done in four years. I don't find myself obsessed with the class roster. I don't find myself too obsessed with my debt. I don't find myself obsessed with where my job shall be once I'm out of here. I want to take courses, chances, teachers for the knowledge they possess and listen, because all stories are worth hearing regardless of their relevance.
....there are certain things TJ impressed upon me during his years, and school may be a large summation of them (after comics). I keep to The Corner in part because of him. The lectures because I should be sapping the marrow of the resources available to me. And I'll go to other continents if I'm gifted with that chance, not because I need the classes but because I want the experience, I want the other countries, I want the other people's opinions, view points and knowledge.
Maybe because I agree with TJ a little too much. People rush through college barely remember to look up, not willing to step back. This is the time though. There's a time and place for everything, and it's called college. It's right here, right now. The chances and experiences we can have right now, right at our finger tips, arranged in a manner of learning, educational and instrumental, will never be like this again in our lives.
Hrm.
No sure writing this actually helped. I know there are other things buried under it, too.
Probably because it just might make too much sense not to cancel out of the possibility to go to Spain in the spring.
.....and other things. Like the girls comment in Spanish for the one reason that would keep her here.
More later.
Love to you all
Krino e Elo