I just bought my plane ticket for Enchanted Days. I've been talking about it non-stop since the invitation came to me in the middle of the year. That even nearly, devestatingly, unemployed/unemployable this year I was cutting back on every single piece of travel except two trips. Dragon-Con (because the hotel, airfare, badge were already paid for at the time of USAA ending) and Enchanted Days (….because, seriously how could I ever not?).
Because at the end of the day, years like this are made for going back to your roots and back to your family, even and especially friends and family of the heart. Because even if it matters to me so much on a daily basis the things I am not or can not, it doesn't matter to those people. [Okay, yes, it matters, but not in the terrible, lightning flashes, thunder crashes, everything's flooding way like it does in my head.]
To them, I'm the thing that matters. Like to the friends who definitely did not want to see me cancel on DragonCon, even as I considered it.The way I don't want this year, with its bleck and ick, to hold me back. From seeing my friends and family in extended places.
The way I know some of them are, also, experiencing hard, fallow years and all I want from the tippy top of my heart to its little toes is grab their hands and let them know how much I love them, how much I'm thinking well of them, praying for them, lighting candles and believing the best has to be on the other side of this, even in my silence and troubles. Wanting to see them laugh and to be graced by the amazing beauty of magic, of family, that is incomplete without them.
For them to be told, even if words don't work well enough, that their untarnishable soul, the singular magic that is them, is utterly untouchable by this world. And part of family, and friends, and love, is trying to let yourself believe that is where you just might find yourself, too. In those same shoes, in that same love, from another's eyes and heart.
Oh, I'm possibly going to be teary that weekend, because I'm getting half to teary just writing this.
~*~
Now, I'm all curious who else knows that they are going, too?
Or who is batting about trying to figure out ways of going and the like?
[This entry was originally posted at
http://wanderlustlover.dreamwidth.org/2249800.html. Comment on either at your leisure.]