About Me Meme - Day 22
Day 22 - Something that upsets you, in great detail
I am having an extraordinary hard time with this one.
At first, I thought, maybe it was people not believing in unconditional love. But that doesn't actually upset me. Love is. Like air. Even if you can't see the air, it's still there, raining down into you every day. People don't have to believe it for it to be there. It simply is. I have been upset once or twice when people called me foolish for believing in it.
But, no, not this.
Then, I asked Hope. Because she's been around long enough to have ideas about me.
She said it was "when people are not being themselves" and I laughed and countered with "inauthenticity." Because it is sort of the buzz word of my world the last two-three months. Well, authenticity is, and inauthenticity by its existence and complication of the first. I've been turning this over for a day and I don't think it’s right either.
Inauthenticity is the buzz word for a not-quite-problem going on in my life. And it does bother me. And the whole inauthenticity/authenticity thing is probably a huge amount of why I find myself in love with my newest Milliways character.
But I don't think it is this either. As people and situation will grow and choose to be authentic or they won't, and you simply lean to make healthy choices for yourself around them.
And My Girl. Which spawned a mini-discussion on the topic being a big question, and even as threw out options, I'm not sure there is something very big that upsets me often and long term.
There are little things. The mistreatment of people and animals. Religious scrutiny of those I love. My lack of a fulltime job effecting. Living paycheck to paycheck, or not even having one. Lying to me, even in the smallest ways or by omission, is a much bigger one. My sister's passing. My parents kicking me out.
Anytime someone tries to make me be something I'm not. When people say ADHD isn't real. My father having walked out of my life, same as my older brothers before me. When I get brow beaten with the fact crying is supposed to be cathartic. That I don't have children yet. That my first proposal-mention was more insult than compliment.
Small and important things, but none of the muster up the mettle of That Big Thing That Upsets Me. Maybe it's a good thing if after a handful of days and both of them I still don't know what it really could be.
I am having an extraordinary hard time with this one.
At first, I thought, maybe it was people not believing in unconditional love. But that doesn't actually upset me. Love is. Like air. Even if you can't see the air, it's still there, raining down into you every day. People don't have to believe it for it to be there. It simply is. I have been upset once or twice when people called me foolish for believing in it.
But, no, not this.
Then, I asked Hope. Because she's been around long enough to have ideas about me.
She said it was "when people are not being themselves" and I laughed and countered with "inauthenticity." Because it is sort of the buzz word of my world the last two-three months. Well, authenticity is, and inauthenticity by its existence and complication of the first. I've been turning this over for a day and I don't think it’s right either.
Inauthenticity is the buzz word for a not-quite-problem going on in my life. And it does bother me. And the whole inauthenticity/authenticity thing is probably a huge amount of why I find myself in love with my newest Milliways character.
But I don't think it is this either. As people and situation will grow and choose to be authentic or they won't, and you simply lean to make healthy choices for yourself around them.
And My Girl. Which spawned a mini-discussion on the topic being a big question, and even as threw out options, I'm not sure there is something very big that upsets me often and long term.
There are little things. The mistreatment of people and animals. Religious scrutiny of those I love. My lack of a fulltime job effecting. Living paycheck to paycheck, or not even having one. Lying to me, even in the smallest ways or by omission, is a much bigger one. My sister's passing. My parents kicking me out.
Anytime someone tries to make me be something I'm not. When people say ADHD isn't real. My father having walked out of my life, same as my older brothers before me. When I get brow beaten with the fact crying is supposed to be cathartic. That I don't have children yet. That my first proposal-mention was more insult than compliment.
Small and important things, but none of the muster up the mettle of That Big Thing That Upsets Me. Maybe it's a good thing if after a handful of days and both of them I still don't know what it really could be.