(no subject)
I started taking St. John's wort from the local organic pharmacy. I'll see if mood stabilizes in a few weeks. I take 35 drops of the tincture mixed in some water, 3 times a day, which is what the bottle recommends. The only risk for me is that it may interact with the effects of the birth control pill, which doesn't matter much to me at this point. I also bought a Valerian root tincture, which is supposed to help with anxiety.
Sold some furniture, going to sell the rest of my doses for $50 (can't risk psychedelics on the plane), planning on selling my old laptop for about $200 - that old stupid Dell was sitting in my closet for a year. Not bad. I also deposited the $600 I had left from my bondage modeling. It's a nice little financial cushion for my first month's rent and shopping in CA.
I would seriously recommend the book "What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20," by Tina Seelig.
I think one day I would like to try flesh hook suspension. If you grab my skin right under my shoulder blades, (right where the suspension people have their hooks placed) and pull really hard, stretching the skin, it feels good to me. It's not even painful. How odd.
Been hanging out with Ali lately, and it's been nice, especially since she gets along with Nikki. I tend to feel awkward when the ex meets the new one but it's all good.
Ali is a fellow obsess-er, and I'm so glad! We were talking about the obsessive mindset the other day, and it was nice to relate to someone who understands what it's like to have an obsessive mind. There's no word or label for it, so I'll just call us the obsess-ers, who at every second of the day, are obsessing about *something,* interspersed with brief respites of spacing out. I'm talking about thought/image/fantasy strings that loop themselves over and over and over. How other people can function daily without obsessing is a mystery to us. Furthermore, we were discussing how we wished that someone out there would obsess about *us*, you know, spend hours staring at pictures of us on Facebook, getting off to us at night, and pining by the minute for us. We wish for this because we've done it ourselves for people. Yep, creepy. Obsess, obsess....I just want to be pretty, I just want to be beautiful, I just want to be hot! Someone smack me please!
I get so stressed and anxious about this CA move (which might not even happen until August) and then I think, in 6 months I'll be studying consciousness with other consciousness weirdos like me, and how wonderful that'll be, and then I feel a little better. I'm fending off depression about leaving my little squish-muffin-sex-kitten, but she's still a-lookin' for jobs out west.
I really like WoW. A lot.
Sold some furniture, going to sell the rest of my doses for $50 (can't risk psychedelics on the plane), planning on selling my old laptop for about $200 - that old stupid Dell was sitting in my closet for a year. Not bad. I also deposited the $600 I had left from my bondage modeling. It's a nice little financial cushion for my first month's rent and shopping in CA.
I would seriously recommend the book "What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20," by Tina Seelig.
I think one day I would like to try flesh hook suspension. If you grab my skin right under my shoulder blades, (right where the suspension people have their hooks placed) and pull really hard, stretching the skin, it feels good to me. It's not even painful. How odd.
Been hanging out with Ali lately, and it's been nice, especially since she gets along with Nikki. I tend to feel awkward when the ex meets the new one but it's all good.
Ali is a fellow obsess-er, and I'm so glad! We were talking about the obsessive mindset the other day, and it was nice to relate to someone who understands what it's like to have an obsessive mind. There's no word or label for it, so I'll just call us the obsess-ers, who at every second of the day, are obsessing about *something,* interspersed with brief respites of spacing out. I'm talking about thought/image/fantasy strings that loop themselves over and over and over. How other people can function daily without obsessing is a mystery to us. Furthermore, we were discussing how we wished that someone out there would obsess about *us*, you know, spend hours staring at pictures of us on Facebook, getting off to us at night, and pining by the minute for us. We wish for this because we've done it ourselves for people. Yep, creepy. Obsess, obsess....I just want to be pretty, I just want to be beautiful, I just want to be hot! Someone smack me please!
I get so stressed and anxious about this CA move (which might not even happen until August) and then I think, in 6 months I'll be studying consciousness with other consciousness weirdos like me, and how wonderful that'll be, and then I feel a little better. I'm fending off depression about leaving my little squish-muffin-sex-kitten, but she's still a-lookin' for jobs out west.
I really like WoW. A lot.