procrastinating
I'm so sick of winter. I'm sick literally in the sense that I've got the horrible cold that's been going around, but furthermore, I'm sick of it being cold and gray and snowing and icy (do I sound like a petulant 3-year old yet?). It's so mild over in Scotland! I want to go back! I miss ocean! Here we've got one extreme or another, but such is life, I suppose. I should quit whining, huh?
I feel like I'm finally getting over a brain-dead period. My poetry has picked up. I've decided I need to cut sentimentality and narrative from my writing because it isn't helping any. I'm afraid I've given up trying to develop something like 'edge' I don't seem to be cut out for it (play on words is unintentional, I promise). Do you ever go through those periods where you're basically on autopilot? Where you do the bare minimum of the necessary and just don't actually acknowledge the rest of the world or attribute any sort of deeper meaning or significance to anything. I hate it when I spend too much time running around, but not really getting anywhere, not really coming to any conclusions. But that's me.
I had a talk with a prof about a week or two back. She thought I should become a lawyer, maybe combine a law degree with an MBA. I confess the idea was intriguing, if simply because I love hearing myself talk and am willing to debate anything to death. The other option I'm looking at is a PhD in English. The former of these options involves a) a very clear structure/path of how to do things and when b) a well-paid job and thus c)security, or at least as much of it as anyone can hope for. The latter, the English degree, is more vague in it's undertaking. The self motivation required is more of an internal sort, an application of self-imposed standards and expectations. I'm the kind of person that can stick to anyone's deadlines, but my own. I break promises to myself all the time. Furthermore, in terms of employment...English... is not exactly lining someone up for a certain career. I'd love to be an English prof, but we'll see. I really do love English and writing and language and discussion, so, really, maybe there's less choice than meets the eye. I'm not one of those clock in clock out folks who only care about work as far as the office and no further. I have to do something I care about. Does this make me different from the rest of the world, or is it just me?
Also, research... is kind of... a lot of fun. How nerdy does that sound. I mean i haven't read a lot of the stuff I've gotten yet, but my Native American Lit is going to be sooooo well supported, let me tell you. Looking for all of this stuff is a bit of treasure hunt. You can practically become an expert on whatever you want by reading a lot of books on the matter. I realize that this is a really basic principle, but when was the last time something took your interest and you read like 5 books on the matter? I think i did that when i was a kid and the books were short. But actual dry research books? My experience with actual semi-professional research is limited, but I think I really like it, honestly. I'm such a dork. Could you have it any other way though?
I feel like I'm finally getting over a brain-dead period. My poetry has picked up. I've decided I need to cut sentimentality and narrative from my writing because it isn't helping any. I'm afraid I've given up trying to develop something like 'edge' I don't seem to be cut out for it (play on words is unintentional, I promise). Do you ever go through those periods where you're basically on autopilot? Where you do the bare minimum of the necessary and just don't actually acknowledge the rest of the world or attribute any sort of deeper meaning or significance to anything. I hate it when I spend too much time running around, but not really getting anywhere, not really coming to any conclusions. But that's me.
I had a talk with a prof about a week or two back. She thought I should become a lawyer, maybe combine a law degree with an MBA. I confess the idea was intriguing, if simply because I love hearing myself talk and am willing to debate anything to death. The other option I'm looking at is a PhD in English. The former of these options involves a) a very clear structure/path of how to do things and when b) a well-paid job and thus c)security, or at least as much of it as anyone can hope for. The latter, the English degree, is more vague in it's undertaking. The self motivation required is more of an internal sort, an application of self-imposed standards and expectations. I'm the kind of person that can stick to anyone's deadlines, but my own. I break promises to myself all the time. Furthermore, in terms of employment...English... is not exactly lining someone up for a certain career. I'd love to be an English prof, but we'll see. I really do love English and writing and language and discussion, so, really, maybe there's less choice than meets the eye. I'm not one of those clock in clock out folks who only care about work as far as the office and no further. I have to do something I care about. Does this make me different from the rest of the world, or is it just me?
Also, research... is kind of... a lot of fun. How nerdy does that sound. I mean i haven't read a lot of the stuff I've gotten yet, but my Native American Lit is going to be sooooo well supported, let me tell you. Looking for all of this stuff is a bit of treasure hunt. You can practically become an expert on whatever you want by reading a lot of books on the matter. I realize that this is a really basic principle, but when was the last time something took your interest and you read like 5 books on the matter? I think i did that when i was a kid and the books were short. But actual dry research books? My experience with actual semi-professional research is limited, but I think I really like it, honestly. I'm such a dork. Could you have it any other way though?