Army Strong.
I haven't written in ages, on any of my blogs, so I just thought I'd throw an update out there.
First, the important stuff:
I'm gonna be selling my art at St. Ben's (by St. Cloud) on Wed. July 29th. Come if you can? Which probably hardly anyone can. :p Before then, I need to try to figure out how much it is to mat some of my pieces. That's really on my to-do list.
Second, I'm really sick of having all my art around me. It depresses me and takes up space and I just want to get rid of it all, at like, any cost. So, if you have any interest in any of my pieces, make an offer-like, I'll sell pieces for $2-5 bucks that are really worth tons more. I just want them gone. Even the pieces that are framed in really expensive frames from my art show-I'll sell them for like 15 bucks or something (the frame and matting itself on those is like $100-believe me, if you want the art at all, it's a deal...) I've even thrown some of my artworks away, 'cause they're just taking up space and I'm sick of having stuff that I'm never gonna do anything with. So...buy buy buy! I'll probably make another note about this in the future where I actually tag everybody, etc. look at my art you may want to buy at:
www.mythoughtsaredeep.deviantart.com or on my photo albums on art here on facebook.
Now onto the boring stuff for anybody who might care at all;
Not that much is happening-my life is extremely temporary feeling right now.
I graduated in May, Magna-cum-laude (sp? Guess I'm not that smart after all. ;) ) with a degree in Studio Arts and minor in Art History, and no idea what I can ever do with that. But, I do have a college education, and that's always a plus-and, as my dad says, "No one can ever take that away from you." And, I did learn a lot in college. A lot about myself, and I know I'm a better person. I know I understand the world better. I don't regret it at all-I loved it. In some ways, I want to go back. The only problem is, you're supposed to go to college to make more money-because it costs a lot of money-not just to become a better person.
I feel like I'm letting people down, even though no one's said any such thing to me.
I also feel like I just need to give up on ever being an artist, which is kind of just heartbreaking. I haven't made art in ages-and I really, really need to. I need to start at least just sketching once in a while. I have all these good intentions, but I never have time. And there's so many other things I'm supposed to be doing. How can I never have time no matter what's happening in my life? I need to find some way to make time.
Speaking of not having time, it probably has something to do with my new job. Which, if you didn't know, is working the night shift at Marshall Independent Newspaper. I stuff flyers and stuff into newspapers. I actually don't mind the job-the people I work with are good people and they're fun for the most part-and the job isn't hard or stressful. The bad parts are that it's only minimum wage, it's part time, even though the hours are actually closer to full time, the hours are a bit unpredictable, no benefits...oh, and the biggest bummer is that it's 6 nights a week. Not ever having 2 days off in a row really sucks. I feel like I never, ever, have any time. I can't seem to squeeze in exercising or art, or friends barely, into my schedule. All I do is work the night shift, feed animals, clean animals cages, clean my Mom's house, and work for Jessica with the ponies and the petting zoo. All of which pays, but not great. :p I'm doing pretty well with my bills, actually, really well-living at home and not having to pay for rent OR food really helps :p-the only bummer is, I'm gonna have to start saving for spending money in Germany soon so I can't put all my paychecks into my credit card bills, and starting in September, I'll have to start paying school loans. Bye bye paying large amounts of my bills off...
So yes, I am living at home. Which is also slightly embarrassing after you've graduated from college. Although it's just the smart thing to do to save money-it's really what I have to do right now. And I like my family-a lot-the only thing that sucks is I never get as much done when I'm not living by myself. There's so many distractions, like helping Mom cook, watching TV with the family, eating with the family, helping my mom with her garden, helping Jessica with the pets and the fences and panels, etc. I think that's actually the reason I'm not getting anything done these days-bonding time with my family.
After I get home from work I usually watch about an hour of something I have on Netflix and then read for about 45 minutes while my rat gets his out of the cage supervised play time. That's my time to get fun things done. Sometimes I do my exercising during that time, too. But I get lazy. I haven't been tackling the diet at all lately, and I really need to get around to doing that-I'm not gaining, but I'm definitely not losing like I was at school. And that's a problem as well. Being home makes me lazy. So does being so freakin' busy-I get so possessive of my free time because I have too little of it or something.
Also, for those of you who don't know, I have 3 pet rats now. 1 male and 2 females. The male gets neutered on Wed. 'cause now that he knows there's females in the house he's peeing on everything to mark it, etc. And I don't like him peeing on everything too much.
My temp. life is going to be going on for a while I'm afraid. At least until like Dec. I think. Which is why it's good to have even this low-paying job at the Independent. I saw an ad in the paper for a surgical tech-starting wage 15-21 bucks. So, going to school for that is still in the picture. Going to school for comic booking is still in my dream future, but, hey...I've been living in dreams long enough going to school for art, right? It's unlikely that it will happen. Which is also heartbreaking. Life sucks-guess I need to suck it up and realize I'm not special.
Other ideas, after Dec. is to apply a guard at ADM or something. Or apply at General Mills, 'cause they have good benefits and polices and pay well. That would probably be worth a move, a stable job like that.
I'm also doing research on becoming a professional pet sitter and owning that business myself, or with Jessica and Lacey-but I'd be the head of it really because they both have their own paths in life and I don't yet. They have they're projects, so I'd have to spear head this one. Problem is, how do I open my own business when I can't even find the freakin' time to read the books I bought about it? :p I've got those, my rat care books, even my comic books have been piling up. I want more time to read, but yet I also need more time to draw and to figure crap out for Germany. I've got the plane ticket and that's it-we haven't done anything with hotels/hostels yet, and I think we're just buying the train tickets there on the spot. But I'm going there for woodcuts, so I really should make some woodcut prints before I go there. That's what I was supposed to be doing for art this summer-summer's almost freakin' over, and it all gets busier from here on in. Argh. I need to read THOSE books on woodblock prints, too. So, so much I want to do.
And my hunger for knowledge has gotten so ridiculous that I actually want to read freakin' dictionaries, too! What kind of freak am I anyways? :p
And, for the record, I would never take the time to read this long of a blog, no matter how much I liked the person. :p
Speaking of liking people, it's getting more and more obvious that I will just never have someone. I can't image myself ever having a romantic relationship with someone. I really can't-it's just like something I don't even think about anymore. I'm only ever interested in people I can't have, and even then it's rare. It seems more likely that I'll have a successful career someday then ever find a partner of any sort. Which isn't even that upsetting to me anymore I'm so far removed from the possibility-I'm just not desperate enough to settle-even if other people in my shoes would have been long ago. I'd rather be alone then settle. And I'm just OK with that. I'll feel my time with other things, certainly. And other people may think it's sad, but some people live their life that way. And I've never been much like other people, why start now?
Ok. I really should get some sleep before working two jobs tomorrow. I'm not tired, and I wanted to get so, so much more done before the end of the night. But at least I can get off the internet and pretend I'm going to bed sometime soon.
Night ya'll.
First, the important stuff:
I'm gonna be selling my art at St. Ben's (by St. Cloud) on Wed. July 29th. Come if you can? Which probably hardly anyone can. :p Before then, I need to try to figure out how much it is to mat some of my pieces. That's really on my to-do list.
Second, I'm really sick of having all my art around me. It depresses me and takes up space and I just want to get rid of it all, at like, any cost. So, if you have any interest in any of my pieces, make an offer-like, I'll sell pieces for $2-5 bucks that are really worth tons more. I just want them gone. Even the pieces that are framed in really expensive frames from my art show-I'll sell them for like 15 bucks or something (the frame and matting itself on those is like $100-believe me, if you want the art at all, it's a deal...) I've even thrown some of my artworks away, 'cause they're just taking up space and I'm sick of having stuff that I'm never gonna do anything with. So...buy buy buy! I'll probably make another note about this in the future where I actually tag everybody, etc. look at my art you may want to buy at:
www.mythoughtsaredeep.deviantart.com or on my photo albums on art here on facebook.
Now onto the boring stuff for anybody who might care at all;
Not that much is happening-my life is extremely temporary feeling right now.
I graduated in May, Magna-cum-laude (sp? Guess I'm not that smart after all. ;) ) with a degree in Studio Arts and minor in Art History, and no idea what I can ever do with that. But, I do have a college education, and that's always a plus-and, as my dad says, "No one can ever take that away from you." And, I did learn a lot in college. A lot about myself, and I know I'm a better person. I know I understand the world better. I don't regret it at all-I loved it. In some ways, I want to go back. The only problem is, you're supposed to go to college to make more money-because it costs a lot of money-not just to become a better person.
I feel like I'm letting people down, even though no one's said any such thing to me.
I also feel like I just need to give up on ever being an artist, which is kind of just heartbreaking. I haven't made art in ages-and I really, really need to. I need to start at least just sketching once in a while. I have all these good intentions, but I never have time. And there's so many other things I'm supposed to be doing. How can I never have time no matter what's happening in my life? I need to find some way to make time.
Speaking of not having time, it probably has something to do with my new job. Which, if you didn't know, is working the night shift at Marshall Independent Newspaper. I stuff flyers and stuff into newspapers. I actually don't mind the job-the people I work with are good people and they're fun for the most part-and the job isn't hard or stressful. The bad parts are that it's only minimum wage, it's part time, even though the hours are actually closer to full time, the hours are a bit unpredictable, no benefits...oh, and the biggest bummer is that it's 6 nights a week. Not ever having 2 days off in a row really sucks. I feel like I never, ever, have any time. I can't seem to squeeze in exercising or art, or friends barely, into my schedule. All I do is work the night shift, feed animals, clean animals cages, clean my Mom's house, and work for Jessica with the ponies and the petting zoo. All of which pays, but not great. :p I'm doing pretty well with my bills, actually, really well-living at home and not having to pay for rent OR food really helps :p-the only bummer is, I'm gonna have to start saving for spending money in Germany soon so I can't put all my paychecks into my credit card bills, and starting in September, I'll have to start paying school loans. Bye bye paying large amounts of my bills off...
So yes, I am living at home. Which is also slightly embarrassing after you've graduated from college. Although it's just the smart thing to do to save money-it's really what I have to do right now. And I like my family-a lot-the only thing that sucks is I never get as much done when I'm not living by myself. There's so many distractions, like helping Mom cook, watching TV with the family, eating with the family, helping my mom with her garden, helping Jessica with the pets and the fences and panels, etc. I think that's actually the reason I'm not getting anything done these days-bonding time with my family.
After I get home from work I usually watch about an hour of something I have on Netflix and then read for about 45 minutes while my rat gets his out of the cage supervised play time. That's my time to get fun things done. Sometimes I do my exercising during that time, too. But I get lazy. I haven't been tackling the diet at all lately, and I really need to get around to doing that-I'm not gaining, but I'm definitely not losing like I was at school. And that's a problem as well. Being home makes me lazy. So does being so freakin' busy-I get so possessive of my free time because I have too little of it or something.
Also, for those of you who don't know, I have 3 pet rats now. 1 male and 2 females. The male gets neutered on Wed. 'cause now that he knows there's females in the house he's peeing on everything to mark it, etc. And I don't like him peeing on everything too much.
My temp. life is going to be going on for a while I'm afraid. At least until like Dec. I think. Which is why it's good to have even this low-paying job at the Independent. I saw an ad in the paper for a surgical tech-starting wage 15-21 bucks. So, going to school for that is still in the picture. Going to school for comic booking is still in my dream future, but, hey...I've been living in dreams long enough going to school for art, right? It's unlikely that it will happen. Which is also heartbreaking. Life sucks-guess I need to suck it up and realize I'm not special.
Other ideas, after Dec. is to apply a guard at ADM or something. Or apply at General Mills, 'cause they have good benefits and polices and pay well. That would probably be worth a move, a stable job like that.
I'm also doing research on becoming a professional pet sitter and owning that business myself, or with Jessica and Lacey-but I'd be the head of it really because they both have their own paths in life and I don't yet. They have they're projects, so I'd have to spear head this one. Problem is, how do I open my own business when I can't even find the freakin' time to read the books I bought about it? :p I've got those, my rat care books, even my comic books have been piling up. I want more time to read, but yet I also need more time to draw and to figure crap out for Germany. I've got the plane ticket and that's it-we haven't done anything with hotels/hostels yet, and I think we're just buying the train tickets there on the spot. But I'm going there for woodcuts, so I really should make some woodcut prints before I go there. That's what I was supposed to be doing for art this summer-summer's almost freakin' over, and it all gets busier from here on in. Argh. I need to read THOSE books on woodblock prints, too. So, so much I want to do.
And my hunger for knowledge has gotten so ridiculous that I actually want to read freakin' dictionaries, too! What kind of freak am I anyways? :p
And, for the record, I would never take the time to read this long of a blog, no matter how much I liked the person. :p
Speaking of liking people, it's getting more and more obvious that I will just never have someone. I can't image myself ever having a romantic relationship with someone. I really can't-it's just like something I don't even think about anymore. I'm only ever interested in people I can't have, and even then it's rare. It seems more likely that I'll have a successful career someday then ever find a partner of any sort. Which isn't even that upsetting to me anymore I'm so far removed from the possibility-I'm just not desperate enough to settle-even if other people in my shoes would have been long ago. I'd rather be alone then settle. And I'm just OK with that. I'll feel my time with other things, certainly. And other people may think it's sad, but some people live their life that way. And I've never been much like other people, why start now?
Ok. I really should get some sleep before working two jobs tomorrow. I'm not tired, and I wanted to get so, so much more done before the end of the night. But at least I can get off the internet and pretend I'm going to bed sometime soon.
Night ya'll.